Oh, it was definitely you.

 

Because you live I now live
and why I’ve wished to die.
Tis a Purgatory of take and give
devoid of reasons why.
The wraps of love cannot make warm
a hearts that’s gone awry.
And torments the soul like a storm
that shrouds a blissful sky.
Fleeting has the truth become
eternal dwells this lie.
Within and touch each grown numb
I yearn the strength to cry.
What’s said is said what’s done is done
still we try to try.
An ending long ago begun
but time shall hell defy.
Comfort is a shared torment
the damned could not deny.
To pass moments and help forget
what secrets underlie.
How I wish to know the way,
so far yet so nearby.
  But here I’ll forever stay
beneath your watchful eye.
Intertwined is a twisted soul
I could never say goodbye.
Absent from me thou won’t be whole
without you so am I.

I want to talk about something that has been heavy upon my mind as it has been ripping a hole into the mere depth of my heart for know one deserves to feel abandon or unwanted or unneeded, for we all are in search of that one love that comes from the heart mind and spiritual soul with love honor and respect, for so many times during this journey travel and walk not withstanding the turmoil that we will have to face head on during this cycle known as life love is the most powerful element of emotions that we all seek to find in life.                                        
                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                  
But yet we find ourselves caught up within the moments of pure seduction till it becomes an addiction of what we thought is love only to be awaken by the truth of a deeper remorse, filled with unbearable hurt and pain leaving even deeper scars that sometimes never really heal even with time but yet that is the price we must pay for trusting and believing in someone.                                                                            
                                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                
Due to the mere fact that we trusted someone with our heart our love and our soul of souls even our very thoughts from the deepness and depth of our minds, for an old wise woman once told me a story she said to me when you trust to easy you just make it that much easier for someone with there own agenda to manipulate you for there own personal gains.                                                              
                                                                                                                                  
                                                                                                                                  
For they will tell you what you want to hear and hide from you what they don't want you see nor what you need to hear and see for thyself through your own eyes and mind, for by keeping you totally distracted off the real big picture they continue to tease your mind with seduction of words that slowly become meaningless to your heart, as they are filled with the most poisonous snake venom that ever existed as it came from the mouth of  a man and a woman out for there own real personal self gains.

When you look in the mirror    
Does your conscience show        
Is the truth any clearer        
Or do you pretend you don't know        
Is my reflection is what you see    
Or a reflection of you without me
In a mirror of broken dreams      
    
Do you remember all the lies        
Do you confess with your soul        
I'm lost in your alibis        
In your world there's nothing to behold        
You say you don’t love me        
But you still can’t set me free
I don't know what this means
I don’t know what this means

With a blind eye        
I look to the sky        
I ask God why        
With tears in my eyes        
On these wings I soar        
Of a one eyed dove        
On a one eyed dove      

  
 
You gotta go back, gotta go back  
To the Garden, that’s where we found it,  
Remember, lover, when we first met?  
   
But then I slouch against the pillows  
And shout ’Why is it so dark in here!?’  
Then I realize I’m here alone.  
   
Forgetting to eat, so much happened  
On no sleep in twenty-four hours,  
But still I check my phone by its light.  
   
Though it was me, old habits die hard;  
I find myself yearning for your call,  
So I hear the voice that made me laff.  
   
Then suddenly, it starts to return.  
Passion, it seemingly never ends.  
Does it mean yesterday was a dream?  
   
On this I’ll meditate unless I  
Choose tonight to overmedicate;  
I better come to my senses quick.  
   
Have I had a fucking change of heart?  
I thought we’d already talked it out  
Who’s not to blame, I surrender dear.  
   
I shouldn’t be feeling any pain,  
But something is sticking in my craw;  
It was what you had said day before.  
   
We cudd’led on this exact wet spot.  
The distance began to separate  
With I wanna date other women.  
   
I choked, ‘Their platonic company?’  
No, to fuck with and ejaculate -  
I just wanted you to know the score.  
   
Even after when I said ‘How kind’,  
I imagined your head on the floor  
In a pool of your blood inches deep.  
   
I’m a good girl, and especially  
I’m a generous lover, and more,  
‘So you mean I don’t give you enough’.  
   
Your dead silence was thick as a plank.  
Now after two days I’m feeling it??  
The paintball gun you left me last year,  
   
I just realized a use for it;  
You were such a romantic biotch.  
I apologize dear, it was YOU!