Lost In The Dark
Heart_symphony
Forum Posts: 60
Twisted Dreamer
3
Joined 17th Jan 2018Forum Posts: 60
Heart shaped pendant
Beginning
You were the first person to make me feel loved
You were my best friend
Finally I felt understood
Finally I felt love
You’d play with me
Flirt with the idea that you loved me
Caress my ego
You told me
I was your best friend
The funniest person you knew
The most beautiful
I was afraid of you
Because of how much I loved you
I was scared to lose you
When I found the courage to share my feelings
You told me you loved me as a friend
You told me I wasn’t your type
But what about the times you tried to kiss me?
What about the nights we lay in bed
Our bodies so close
Our toes touching
I told you all my secrets
Our souls felt intertwined
We had big dreams
We did everything together
Our adventures were just beginning
To coremmorate our bound
We each had half a heart shaped pendant
Which together made a whole heart
The necklace had “best friend” engraved on it
Your half read “be, fri”
And mine “st, end”
Now our heart necklaces will never be whole
I stare at my necklace
While I trace the jagged heart edges
The engraving “end” glares up at me
But I’m not your type
If you had told me how to change
I would of chopped myself up
To conform
But instead you left me in the dark
Lost, cold and alone
Questioning my reality
Was it all in my mind?
I’d lay awake for nights on end
The crying never seeming to end
I hadn’t just lost a love
I lost my best friend
I lost the only person who gave my mind clarity
The only person I loved
I lashed out at you
Because of the pain
Because of my actions
You sent me a text
A text that would illuminate me
While I lay alone in my dark room
“You’re incapable of love”
You were the first person I loved
But I’m incapable
Maybe if I was capable
You’d of loved me back
Maybe if I wasn’t a broken toy
You’d of wanted me
But then maybe I’d of never met you
And then I’d never of fallen in love
Either way, there was no
Happy
End
You were the first person to make me feel loved
You were my best friend
Finally I felt understood
Finally I felt love
You’d play with me
Flirt with the idea that you loved me
Caress my ego
You told me
I was your best friend
The funniest person you knew
The most beautiful
I was afraid of you
Because of how much I loved you
I was scared to lose you
When I found the courage to share my feelings
You told me you loved me as a friend
You told me I wasn’t your type
But what about the times you tried to kiss me?
What about the nights we lay in bed
Our bodies so close
Our toes touching
I told you all my secrets
Our souls felt intertwined
We had big dreams
We did everything together
Our adventures were just beginning
To coremmorate our bound
We each had half a heart shaped pendant
Which together made a whole heart
The necklace had “best friend” engraved on it
Your half read “be, fri”
And mine “st, end”
Now our heart necklaces will never be whole
I stare at my necklace
While I trace the jagged heart edges
The engraving “end” glares up at me
But I’m not your type
If you had told me how to change
I would of chopped myself up
To conform
But instead you left me in the dark
Lost, cold and alone
Questioning my reality
Was it all in my mind?
I’d lay awake for nights on end
The crying never seeming to end
I hadn’t just lost a love
I lost my best friend
I lost the only person who gave my mind clarity
The only person I loved
I lashed out at you
Because of the pain
Because of my actions
You sent me a text
A text that would illuminate me
While I lay alone in my dark room
“You’re incapable of love”
You were the first person I loved
But I’m incapable
Maybe if I was capable
You’d of loved me back
Maybe if I wasn’t a broken toy
You’d of wanted me
But then maybe I’d of never met you
And then I’d never of fallen in love
Either way, there was no
Happy
End
Written by Heart_symphony
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eswaller
Forum Posts: 762
Dangerous Mind
31
Joined 22nd Dec 2015Forum Posts: 762
We Were Both Lost
Teardrops that stain the bed sheets
Where we made love for the second
Time. The imprint of your hands still
Lingering on my thighs. Heartbeats
Away from I love you and beckoned
It before we could start. That chill
Running its course and that dead
Look in your empty eyes like we are
Strangers again with no recollection
Of memories. My lips, the color of red
Wine is all I have left of us. Every star
And moon that once shined, a rejection
Of what we used to have. Maybe I was
Never the only one who felt lost if you
Felt that way too. I was way too drunk
And high on love to notice every pause
Before you spoke was fully calculated. To
Hurt me was not planned, but you sunk
Me down and took that huge chunk.
Where we made love for the second
Time. The imprint of your hands still
Lingering on my thighs. Heartbeats
Away from I love you and beckoned
It before we could start. That chill
Running its course and that dead
Look in your empty eyes like we are
Strangers again with no recollection
Of memories. My lips, the color of red
Wine is all I have left of us. Every star
And moon that once shined, a rejection
Of what we used to have. Maybe I was
Never the only one who felt lost if you
Felt that way too. I was way too drunk
And high on love to notice every pause
Before you spoke was fully calculated. To
Hurt me was not planned, but you sunk
Me down and took that huge chunk.
Written by eswaller
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Cyndi_Moone
Forum Posts: 188
Thought Provoker
3
Joined 13th Dec 2016Forum Posts: 188
Grace
J_Jay_J_Jr
EdibleWords
TylerZ
Cloventongue89
Apostrophe-es
username_r_lame
KeshaDEly
eswaller
Shonuff666
Starlite Starfright
Heart_Symphony
Thank you all for joining this comp and for all your heartfelt entries...
I make it my OWN PERSONAL rule to maintain myself "neutral" when hosting an open comp. In reserving my personal "compliments" or "comments," I feel I preserve equality and justice to ALL DUP poets and their entries. When remaining "neutral," I ensure that no participating DUP poet feel disheartened because one entry was "favored" with a compliment or comment and others were/are not. It's MY personal rule...and MY own personal way of thinking (No offense to how other DUP poets run their comps).
However, with this comp, I feel strongly and overwhelmed with the desire to share with you ALL (while the comp is still open/effective), that EVERY entry received, thus far, has been SO heartfelt in its diverse topics that you've all, thus far, have me feeling SUPER-privileged to host this particular comp while keeping me "hungry" to receive and read more!
Thank you ALL so VERY much for ALL your jaw-dropping and heartfelt entries, thus far...as I encourage DUP poets to submit their welcomed and anticipated entries. Maximum of TWO (2) poem entries allowed....:)
J_Jay_J_Jr
EdibleWords
TylerZ
Cloventongue89
Apostrophe-es
username_r_lame
KeshaDEly
eswaller
Shonuff666
Starlite Starfright
Heart_Symphony
Thank you all for joining this comp and for all your heartfelt entries...
I make it my OWN PERSONAL rule to maintain myself "neutral" when hosting an open comp. In reserving my personal "compliments" or "comments," I feel I preserve equality and justice to ALL DUP poets and their entries. When remaining "neutral," I ensure that no participating DUP poet feel disheartened because one entry was "favored" with a compliment or comment and others were/are not. It's MY personal rule...and MY own personal way of thinking (No offense to how other DUP poets run their comps).
However, with this comp, I feel strongly and overwhelmed with the desire to share with you ALL (while the comp is still open/effective), that EVERY entry received, thus far, has been SO heartfelt in its diverse topics that you've all, thus far, have me feeling SUPER-privileged to host this particular comp while keeping me "hungry" to receive and read more!
Thank you ALL so VERY much for ALL your jaw-dropping and heartfelt entries, thus far...as I encourage DUP poets to submit their welcomed and anticipated entries. Maximum of TWO (2) poem entries allowed....:)
stoned
buggy
Joined 18th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 5
buggy
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 5
My First Love
We met online
we talked and talked
I met her friends
they told me take a walk
A month had passed
her friends all "died"
I comforted her
She cried and cried
Another month went by
i fell in love
But it was toxic
we always lost it
Another month
New friends had come
I was here first
so I already won
Another month
she has a boyfriend
her friends are fake
but she wont break
A couple days
her friends aren't real
their all played by her
She tells me, "Thats just absurd"
Another month
I've fallen too far
i'm told she's dead
her wrists stained with red
I come home from school
and shes alive, im such a fool
She keeps me from doing what i love
so i tell her its not true love
We part ways, a hole in our hearts
we haven't spoken in a year
Her name was Gabby
hearing her name fills me with fear
we talked and talked
I met her friends
they told me take a walk
A month had passed
her friends all "died"
I comforted her
She cried and cried
Another month went by
i fell in love
But it was toxic
we always lost it
Another month
New friends had come
I was here first
so I already won
Another month
she has a boyfriend
her friends are fake
but she wont break
A couple days
her friends aren't real
their all played by her
She tells me, "Thats just absurd"
Another month
I've fallen too far
i'm told she's dead
her wrists stained with red
I come home from school
and shes alive, im such a fool
She keeps me from doing what i love
so i tell her its not true love
We part ways, a hole in our hearts
we haven't spoken in a year
Her name was Gabby
hearing her name fills me with fear
Written by stoned
(buggy)
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Crimrosse
Forum Posts: 5
Lost Thinker
1
Joined 8th Jan 2018 Forum Posts: 5
Shade of a friend
You were there always
Next to me like a shade
But leaves of time have fallen
Memories of us, they fade
It was a matter of day
The change in your heart
You chased shade away
But you left me in the dark
You do not wanna talk
You do not wanna meet
When I see you I still break
And my heart is still in grief
And I know that you did suffer
And that was what hurt the most
That I couln't even help
As you turned into a ghost
I thought you would be there always
Next to me , a faithful friend
All what's left is to remember
All the years together spent
Next to me like a shade
But leaves of time have fallen
Memories of us, they fade
It was a matter of day
The change in your heart
You chased shade away
But you left me in the dark
You do not wanna talk
You do not wanna meet
When I see you I still break
And my heart is still in grief
And I know that you did suffer
And that was what hurt the most
That I couln't even help
As you turned into a ghost
I thought you would be there always
Next to me , a faithful friend
All what's left is to remember
All the years together spent
Written by Crimrosse
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ImperfectedStone
The Gardener
Forum Posts: 1347
The Gardener
Tyrant of Words
28
Joined 10th Oct 2010Forum Posts: 1347
The Terrible
In the Summer, in the hot Sun, in the brightness
You and I danced with our hearts somewhere close to our sleeves
And it was wild, and free, and careless with my softness
For you could have had ten of me whilst I only one of you,
And you must have known it,
For it was a glorified baptism of fire
Where the Sun became a black hole
And the night became a permanence
And you,
You were like dust in the wind
That blew over days
Of giving up and giving in and
Losing spirit and light.
In the Summer, in the hot Sun, in the brightness
You and I danced with our hearts somewhere close to our sleeves
And it was wild, and free, and careless with my softness
For you could have had ten of me whilst I only one of you,
And you must have known it,
For it was a glorified baptism of fire
Where the Sun became a black hole
And the night became a permanence
And you,
You were like dust in the wind
That blew over days
Of giving up and giving in and
Losing spirit and light.
Cyndi_Moone
Forum Posts: 188
Thought Provoker
3
Joined 13th Dec 2016Forum Posts: 188
Stoned
Crimrosse
ImperfectedStone
Thank you for delighting me with a few MORE excellent heartfelt entries! I truly appreciate all the entries received. I know that your entries came after I poured out my heartfelt expressions to the first entries received. However, I feel THE SAME when reading your entries! Your entries have kept me feeling PRIVILEGED to serve as a host to this particular competition.
While I encourage all other DUP poets to contribute MORE entries before this comp comes to an end, it is only fair to share mine with you all as you ALL have openly shared yours with me.....
LOST IN THE DARK
Waves of thoughts and clouds of confusion settle in my mind
Tossing and turning recollections float to surface as I unwind
The fog your actions brought to my world dimmed my shining light
Wondering what caused you to exchange your promises for lies.
We got along; we were passionate lovers; we were friends
I was sure I found my Prince and our love would have no end!
We could not WAIT to see each other
And be with one another.
We shared the same bed and burned in passionate flame
Everything was going SO well....our love was not a game!
One day to the next…Yes! One day to the next
I, lovingly, reach out to embrace you and you prefer to rest.
I implement EVERY tactic I possibly can to be with you
But, you brush me off and find any old silly excuse
To leave my side; now, I see the change
I went from a fiance to a stranger in exchange.
Was it something I did? Do you need some space?
Are you changing your mind? Did I fall from your grace?
I ask, “Do you love me?” I get a “Yes.”
“As a friend or your girl?” and I get your smirk instead.
“Love takes time! We need to be friends
Get to know each other” conversation ends.
You will have none of my touching…None of my kisses.
I’m down to being your sister when I was close to being your Misses.
I’ve turned blue in the face trying to see
What caused your change to be.
So, now, I keep my distance bearing your brutal beating of my soul.
I carry my broken heart in my hands, walking dazed and confused, I’ll have you know.
I’ll take your friendship: No more cuddles….No more hugs….
All the love you trampled on, I’ve reserved under the rug
Still..Hoping....that, in the midst of this LONELY darkness you’ve abandoned me to…
That you’d be back to find "US"…..and, when my eyes meet you again and light breaks through
The veil of this lonely, dark, confusing, mind-storming, midnight-blue,
You’d choose ME to hold your heart again…..
Comp deadline: January 24, 2018.....
Crimrosse
ImperfectedStone
Thank you for delighting me with a few MORE excellent heartfelt entries! I truly appreciate all the entries received. I know that your entries came after I poured out my heartfelt expressions to the first entries received. However, I feel THE SAME when reading your entries! Your entries have kept me feeling PRIVILEGED to serve as a host to this particular competition.
While I encourage all other DUP poets to contribute MORE entries before this comp comes to an end, it is only fair to share mine with you all as you ALL have openly shared yours with me.....
LOST IN THE DARK
Waves of thoughts and clouds of confusion settle in my mind
Tossing and turning recollections float to surface as I unwind
The fog your actions brought to my world dimmed my shining light
Wondering what caused you to exchange your promises for lies.
We got along; we were passionate lovers; we were friends
I was sure I found my Prince and our love would have no end!
We could not WAIT to see each other
And be with one another.
We shared the same bed and burned in passionate flame
Everything was going SO well....our love was not a game!
One day to the next…Yes! One day to the next
I, lovingly, reach out to embrace you and you prefer to rest.
I implement EVERY tactic I possibly can to be with you
But, you brush me off and find any old silly excuse
To leave my side; now, I see the change
I went from a fiance to a stranger in exchange.
Was it something I did? Do you need some space?
Are you changing your mind? Did I fall from your grace?
I ask, “Do you love me?” I get a “Yes.”
“As a friend or your girl?” and I get your smirk instead.
“Love takes time! We need to be friends
Get to know each other” conversation ends.
You will have none of my touching…None of my kisses.
I’m down to being your sister when I was close to being your Misses.
I’ve turned blue in the face trying to see
What caused your change to be.
So, now, I keep my distance bearing your brutal beating of my soul.
I carry my broken heart in my hands, walking dazed and confused, I’ll have you know.
I’ll take your friendship: No more cuddles….No more hugs….
All the love you trampled on, I’ve reserved under the rug
Still..Hoping....that, in the midst of this LONELY darkness you’ve abandoned me to…
That you’d be back to find "US"…..and, when my eyes meet you again and light breaks through
The veil of this lonely, dark, confusing, mind-storming, midnight-blue,
You’d choose ME to hold your heart again…..
Comp deadline: January 24, 2018.....
EdibleWords
Forum Posts: 3004
Tyrant of Words
9
Joined 7th Jan 2018Forum Posts: 3004
Wow. Cyndi!
Really good, sad poem.
Really good, sad poem.
QuinnARichardson
Joined 19th Dec 2017
Forum Posts: 95
Thought Provoker
Forum Posts: 95
Lost in Your Mind
You have lived half your life knowing me
As my best friend, grandmother to my children
A Sunday school teacher who taught the little children about Jesus and how to be.
I dream about you, old friend
I love you so much
Because you have Alzheimer's, you will be lost in the dark til the end.
We are so close as daughter and mother and now I can only trust my Lord
As I watched you trust Him for many years
Now lost in the dark and your mind carrying God's word.
I say that you are lost in the dark but it is truly I that am
For I can only watch you grow worse with this terrible disease
And wish that I could get clarity to understand.
I watch you as you fidget with your clothes and sleep in them
Never changing or wanting a bath
I talk to you and give you compassion
as you repetitively roll up your dress' hem.
I don't understand this wicked disease
That made you go from an active, healthy person to just a shell
All I can beg for is that you don't forget me, please.
My heart cries for you, old friend
You taught me so much, opened your
arms and home up to me when I needed you most
And now I am lost, not knowing what to do, how to help, how to cure you or mend.
I am lost, listening to your voice
Asking me questions and remembering the past
I cry because eventually you will not remember and this is not your choice.
So many memories of years gone past
I miss those days when I could hear you laugh or watch you cook
My wish would be to go back and make them last.
God, I feel so helpless, nothing is up to me
What can I do? It's just not fair!
My best friend, how complicated for you it must be.
As my best friend, grandmother to my children
A Sunday school teacher who taught the little children about Jesus and how to be.
I dream about you, old friend
I love you so much
Because you have Alzheimer's, you will be lost in the dark til the end.
We are so close as daughter and mother and now I can only trust my Lord
As I watched you trust Him for many years
Now lost in the dark and your mind carrying God's word.
I say that you are lost in the dark but it is truly I that am
For I can only watch you grow worse with this terrible disease
And wish that I could get clarity to understand.
I watch you as you fidget with your clothes and sleep in them
Never changing or wanting a bath
I talk to you and give you compassion
as you repetitively roll up your dress' hem.
I don't understand this wicked disease
That made you go from an active, healthy person to just a shell
All I can beg for is that you don't forget me, please.
My heart cries for you, old friend
You taught me so much, opened your
arms and home up to me when I needed you most
And now I am lost, not knowing what to do, how to help, how to cure you or mend.
I am lost, listening to your voice
Asking me questions and remembering the past
I cry because eventually you will not remember and this is not your choice.
So many memories of years gone past
I miss those days when I could hear you laugh or watch you cook
My wish would be to go back and make them last.
God, I feel so helpless, nothing is up to me
What can I do? It's just not fair!
My best friend, how complicated for you it must be.
Written by QuinnARichardson
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snugglebuck
Forum Posts: 1873
Dangerous Mind
77
Joined 3rd Feb 2014Forum Posts: 1873
Kellyanne
Confused without a clue
Perplexed is my complexion
Adrift in a sea of infinite disorientation
Am I delusional, or is reality an illusion?
Kellyanne, in your world of alternative facts
I don’t no longer know who I am
Confused without a clue
Perplexed is my complexion
Adrift in a sea of infinite disorientation
Am I delusional, or is reality an illusion?
Kellyanne, in your world of alternative facts
I don’t no longer know who I am
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
okanna93
MJWells93
Forum Posts: 33
MJWells93
Lost Thinker
1
Joined 16th Aug 2017 Forum Posts: 33
In the Belly of the Beast
What is it like being with an alcoholic you ask? Well I will tell you....
It's like watching them being in a terrible car accident over and over again until it breaks you
His illness broke me but not just me, everyone in his life around him
but somehow I am seen as just as guilty as he is
it's like I am the disease that has latched on to him and won't let go
but i'm not
i'm a victim too
i'm the only person that hasn't given up on him
yet here I am prepared to leave the one thing that gives me my only joy
we just spent two days at his parent's cabin house
what went wrong?
being with an alcoholic is like watching a tragedy in slow motion, so slow that you feel like it will never end
I wish he didn't have this disease
I would gladly take it from him and put it on myself if I could
I just hate seeing him in so much pain
I love this man so much
but he keeps hurting me
maybe it's time to leave
but I don't know what to do
stay or go?
I wanna fight for him until the very end
but when is the end?
when will the white flag wave?
Will it be when the mourners sing?
It's like watching them being in a terrible car accident over and over again until it breaks you
His illness broke me but not just me, everyone in his life around him
but somehow I am seen as just as guilty as he is
it's like I am the disease that has latched on to him and won't let go
but i'm not
i'm a victim too
i'm the only person that hasn't given up on him
yet here I am prepared to leave the one thing that gives me my only joy
we just spent two days at his parent's cabin house
what went wrong?
being with an alcoholic is like watching a tragedy in slow motion, so slow that you feel like it will never end
I wish he didn't have this disease
I would gladly take it from him and put it on myself if I could
I just hate seeing him in so much pain
I love this man so much
but he keeps hurting me
maybe it's time to leave
but I don't know what to do
stay or go?
I wanna fight for him until the very end
but when is the end?
when will the white flag wave?
Will it be when the mourners sing?
Written by okanna93
(MJWells93)
Go To Page
okanna93
MJWells93
Forum Posts: 33
MJWells93
Lost Thinker
1
Joined 16th Aug 2017 Forum Posts: 33
The Colors Beyond the Stars
There was a stench in the air
a fowl stench that is
it smelled of agony
betrayal
anger
hurt
sadness
and most of all, emptiness
In my opinion emptiness is the most common, yet worst aroma that surround everyday life on this planet.
To me the planet is not blue, green, and brown
It is black, white, and every shade of grey
I threw in white because that is where emptiness comes in
not grey because that's sadness
but black is all the putrid smells meshed into one
I call them smells and aromas because they come and go just like emotions
sometime lingering a bit longer when it's stronger
I prefer that over emotions
sometimes I am grey sometimes I am black,
but more so than not, I am white
That may seem like a funny turn of phrase to you
but to me it makes perfect sense
Just like there are aura colors that exist
so does it in the form of a state of mind that covers this planet like a sheet growing thicker and thicker until you can't see through it
just the colors that are in front of you
right now I am just white
I have been that way for a long time now
sometimes I shift between that and various shades of grey
that's just how it is
just black
white
and every shade of grey in between
a fowl stench that is
it smelled of agony
betrayal
anger
hurt
sadness
and most of all, emptiness
In my opinion emptiness is the most common, yet worst aroma that surround everyday life on this planet.
To me the planet is not blue, green, and brown
It is black, white, and every shade of grey
I threw in white because that is where emptiness comes in
not grey because that's sadness
but black is all the putrid smells meshed into one
I call them smells and aromas because they come and go just like emotions
sometime lingering a bit longer when it's stronger
I prefer that over emotions
sometimes I am grey sometimes I am black,
but more so than not, I am white
That may seem like a funny turn of phrase to you
but to me it makes perfect sense
Just like there are aura colors that exist
so does it in the form of a state of mind that covers this planet like a sheet growing thicker and thicker until you can't see through it
just the colors that are in front of you
right now I am just white
I have been that way for a long time now
sometimes I shift between that and various shades of grey
that's just how it is
just black
white
and every shade of grey in between
Written by okanna93
(MJWells93)
Go To Page
ak_14
Joined 23rd Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 1
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 1
Depression
I’m trying to live,
I’m trying to survive,
In this mental torment.
I never meant for it to be this way,
“Things get better,” they say.
The sad part is, they never stay.
There’s nothing like the feeling of slowly going insane,
I’m well aware that there’s something wrong with my brain.
Feeling so drained, I can’t find it in me to cry,
No explanations, no reasons why.
This disease is only getting worse,
I guess you can say that I was blessed with a curse.
It never ends, and I don’t know whom I can call a friend.
I’ve drawn on my arms in silver, and it turns red,
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bled,
For all of the people that screwed me over,
The ones who just threw me away like I was some leftover.
It feels like I’m dying inside,
And I don’t know what it was that made a piece of me die.
I do know why, and it’s because there’s never any time for farewells,
No chances for goodbyes…
I would do anything, to end what I’m going through.
I would do anything, to get back the happiness that I once knew.
I’m trying to live,
I’m trying to survive,
In this mental torment.
I never meant for it to be this way,
“Things get better,” they say.
The sad part is, they never stay.
There’s nothing like the feeling of slowly going insane,
I’m well aware that there’s something wrong with my brain.
Feeling so drained, I can’t find it in me to cry,
No explanations, no reasons why.
This disease is only getting worse,
I guess you can say that I was blessed with a curse.
It never ends, and I don’t know whom I can call a friend.
I’ve drawn on my arms in silver, and it turns red,
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve bled,
For all of the people that screwed me over,
The ones who just threw me away like I was some leftover.
It feels like I’m dying inside,
And I don’t know what it was that made a piece of me die.
I do know why, and it’s because there’s never any time for farewells,
No chances for goodbyes…
I would do anything, to end what I’m going through.
I would do anything, to get back the happiness that I once knew.