All Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
The latest poetry and short stories posted on DU Poetry.
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
Harold-Weathervein
Published
Today 3:47pm
Today 3:47pm
Let The Nicotine Fly Higher Than Birds Over Superior Lake. (the gig was up. I should have set sail at dawn.)
Gloomy midwestern mornings.
I'm sure some ass-hole wrote about its beauty.
I'm sure i'm guilty of it.
I had bought a bag of rolling tobacco a week back.
I quit smoking 8, 9 years ago.
When I was with an ex-girl, I had picked up rolling my own,
for...financial reasons I explained.
What I didn't her in that Duluth? hotel
was that I started rolling as an excuse to get away from her.
She hated the smell more than a regular cigarette somehow.
I was upping myself by buying a corn cob pipe...
But still,
30 sweet minutes...
I'm sure some ass-hole wrote about its beauty.
I'm sure i'm guilty of it.
I had bought a bag of rolling tobacco a week back.
I quit smoking 8, 9 years ago.
When I was with an ex-girl, I had picked up rolling my own,
for...financial reasons I explained.
What I didn't her in that Duluth? hotel
was that I started rolling as an excuse to get away from her.
She hated the smell more than a regular cigarette somehow.
I was upping myself by buying a corn cob pipe...
But still,
30 sweet minutes...
#alcohol
#tobacco
#honesty
#despair
#dating
3 reads
0 Comments
Li0nsWater
Published
Today 3:00pm
Today 3:00pm
The DRT Truth
fuck him to FUCK her + Love her to fuck HIM = fuck em' both & LOVE someone else!
2 fucking HEAVY to fuck
+
Too UNDESERVING 2 fuck again
Love someone else & fuck em' BOTH...
Could've worked; too INSECURE to try
Can TRY all I want; too insecure to work
Is it ME? Or what I think I see?
I + Loved you & YOU + betrayed me
Loved you + I ... while... you +betrayed WE
To love me = you betrayed NEGATIVITY.
50/50: God forbid if the numbers should BEND
60/40: so long as it...
2 fucking HEAVY to fuck
+
Too UNDESERVING 2 fuck again
Love someone else & fuck em' BOTH...
Could've worked; too INSECURE to try
Can TRY all I want; too insecure to work
Is it ME? Or what I think I see?
I + Loved you & YOU + betrayed me
Loved you + I ... while... you +betrayed WE
To love me = you betrayed NEGATIVITY.
50/50: God forbid if the numbers should BEND
60/40: so long as it...
#love
#TruthOfLife
#SelfReflection
#emotional
#choices
2 reads
0 Comments
anna_grin
ilchruthach
ilchruthach
Published
Today 2:42pm
Today 2:42pm
dogwhistle
across the green fields and valleys
we heard the sound
far louder than a tinnitus
ringing like an air raid siren
like the sound of a police car
an ambulance stuck in traffic
a code red on the psych ward
it echoed back to Africa and split the ear bone that fuses underwater
but we are not domestic dogs.
we have the same canines as you
we can and will bite back
and as one and as many and as each to each other
we will hunt you out even as our ears bleed
we heard the sound
far louder than a tinnitus
ringing like an air raid siren
like the sound of a police car
an ambulance stuck in traffic
a code red on the psych ward
it echoed back to Africa and split the ear bone that fuses underwater
but we are not domestic dogs.
we have the same canines as you
we can and will bite back
and as one and as many and as each to each other
we will hunt you out even as our ears bleed
#racism
10 reads
0 Comments
LostViking
Lost Viking
Lost Viking
Published
Today 12:53pm
Today 12:53pm
First Fruits
#lust
#sex
#betrayal #funny
#betrayal #funny
20 reads
0 Comments
God-Is-In-The-Rain
Gregory Rain
Gregory Rain
Published
Today 12:25pm
Today 12:25pm
Rising Saviour
Hair strains woven from ashes.
Red dawn guiding her eyes.
Lips made of wounds and scratches,
and teeth akin to spikes.
Bile and molten earth flowing -
right beneath her snow-white nape.
Pose of beast, but couture showing -
body bearing a child's shape.
The skin parched, hardened leather.
Lacking both in hoofs and horns.
Call her savior of the devil.
Give her - the crown of thorns.
Blinded by rage that's lawless.
At once both sane and mad.
Rising from deepest darkness -
Ready to wrestle god.
Red dawn guiding her eyes.
Lips made of wounds and scratches,
and teeth akin to spikes.
Bile and molten earth flowing -
right beneath her snow-white nape.
Pose of beast, but couture showing -
body bearing a child's shape.
The skin parched, hardened leather.
Lacking both in hoofs and horns.
Call her savior of the devil.
Give her - the crown of thorns.
Blinded by rage that's lawless.
At once both sane and mad.
Rising from deepest darkness -
Ready to wrestle god.
#God
5 reads
1 Comment
joeborg
Published
Today 10:57am
Today 10:57am
dream memory
How I like when this time comes
To take a break and make the sums,
Plan the writing choose the theme
To best express my daily dream,
The scene is fresh from previous night
with the memory still clear and tight,
which will help me to portray
and paint my verse in such a way,
aimed to make you smile a bit
for your soul’s true benefit.
To take a break and make the sums,
Plan the writing choose the theme
To best express my daily dream,
The scene is fresh from previous night
with the memory still clear and tight,
which will help me to portray
and paint my verse in such a way,
aimed to make you smile a bit
for your soul’s true benefit.
#girlfriend
#lover
#crush #passion
#crush #passion
17 reads
0 Comments
Crepuscluar_Night
Published
Today 10:43am
Today 10:43am
Decorticated Burial of Delirium
I awaken upon an obsidian pathway chambered within a delirious trance
The ash of solitary paralysis grew amongst cerebral aberration, as my mind fixated its descend
Cold structures preserved an echolocation of disillusioning sanity, psychosis travel reaches my lands of desolate demise-
I hear the wings of escapism
As the wings lift me admits a ruinous fog a pale envisioning harps my drifting enclosure in forgotten winds, for now I dwell lull amongst the insensate soil
I discern the blood ever-letting from my body, yearning upon the...
The ash of solitary paralysis grew amongst cerebral aberration, as my mind fixated its descend
Cold structures preserved an echolocation of disillusioning sanity, psychosis travel reaches my lands of desolate demise-
I hear the wings of escapism
As the wings lift me admits a ruinous fog a pale envisioning harps my drifting enclosure in forgotten winds, for now I dwell lull amongst the insensate soil
I discern the blood ever-letting from my body, yearning upon the...
#depression
#suicide
5 reads
1 Comment
DAGODDESS
Published
Today 9:19am
Today 9:19am
WHERE STARS ARE BORN
I’M FROM A PLACE WHERE
WE ROCK OUR SWORDS IN OUR BACKS
LIKE MEDALLIONS
WEARING EVERY PAIN WE FEEL
AS SOME SACRIFICE WE’RE MAKING
CARRYING AROUND BURDENS
LIKE SWEET MEMORIES
CROWDING UP OUR SPACES
OUR FONDEST MEMORIES FILLED WITH FEAR AND REGRET
MISSING OUR MOTHERS
I’M FROM A PLACE WHERE
LOVE IS SOMETHING TO BE WEARY OF
RATHER THAN KEEP YOU COMFY
KEEP YOU WARM AND CUDDLY
THAT’S NOT IDEAL FOR US
LOVE
KILLING YOU SLOWLY
BREAKING YOUR HEART DOWN
PEELING BACK LAYERS LIKE CLOTHING
LEAVING YOU NAKED ...
WE ROCK OUR SWORDS IN OUR BACKS
LIKE MEDALLIONS
WEARING EVERY PAIN WE FEEL
AS SOME SACRIFICE WE’RE MAKING
CARRYING AROUND BURDENS
LIKE SWEET MEMORIES
CROWDING UP OUR SPACES
OUR FONDEST MEMORIES FILLED WITH FEAR AND REGRET
MISSING OUR MOTHERS
I’M FROM A PLACE WHERE
LOVE IS SOMETHING TO BE WEARY OF
RATHER THAN KEEP YOU COMFY
KEEP YOU WARM AND CUDDLY
THAT’S NOT IDEAL FOR US
LOVE
KILLING YOU SLOWLY
BREAKING YOUR HEART DOWN
PEELING BACK LAYERS LIKE CLOTHING
LEAVING YOU NAKED ...
#oppression
4 reads
0 Comments
averageJoe69
Ron Summers
Ron Summers
Published
Today 8:42am
Today 8:42am
Throbbing, soaking wet
#erotic
#dreams
#sensual
44 reads
3 Comments
OyateInyanNajin
Published
Today 8:25am
Today 8:25am
ARE YOU STILL ONLY ONE OF THE SLEEPING (10/1989, Southern California)
momentarily contained
here in this landscape
of hair and skin
i feed the sky
with my persistent breath
the earth with my life
as the sky
breathes freely back
into my body and being
a much deeper song
of completion
wherein each moment
is a new dawn
here within
this open circle
of being i am
as consciousness
molds on
some instinct
is listening forever
with patience
beyond the sun
of its sum
for i am a desert waiting
for something more
than sand alone
can ever explain...
here in this landscape
of hair and skin
i feed the sky
with my persistent breath
the earth with my life
as the sky
breathes freely back
into my body and being
a much deeper song
of completion
wherein each moment
is a new dawn
here within
this open circle
of being i am
as consciousness
molds on
some instinct
is listening forever
with patience
beyond the sun
of its sum
for i am a desert waiting
for something more
than sand alone
can ever explain...
#motivational
#inspirational
#SelfReflection
#SelfDiscovery
#choices
5 reads
0 Comments
BlueBeastGirl
Published
Today 7:34am
Today 7:34am
Hidden Wish
All throughout my childhood I would be told
That if I could somehow manage to be good
Id see my Great grandma again when I died
Through all the abuse, all the lies... Its still hard
To not still hold that belief close to my heart
Buried deep in my soul it still grows strong
Every brush with death, every dreadful glimpse
I can imagine her beyond the veil reaching out
Our hands pushing to get through to each other
But then Im snapped back to this life with a silent scream
Gods how I miss her... Shes been gone for so long
Her snow white...
That if I could somehow manage to be good
Id see my Great grandma again when I died
Through all the abuse, all the lies... Its still hard
To not still hold that belief close to my heart
Buried deep in my soul it still grows strong
Every brush with death, every dreadful glimpse
I can imagine her beyond the veil reaching out
Our hands pushing to get through to each other
But then Im snapped back to this life with a silent scream
Gods how I miss her... Shes been gone for so long
Her snow white...
#love
#memories
#escape
#IMissYou
#separation
13 reads
0 Comments
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