Self Poems Seeking Honest Critique
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Personal poetry about the way you feel about yourself
Honest critique has been requested for these poems. Want to learn the art of critique? Join our Honestly Crafted Critique group.
My Fictional World
It was just a regular day.
My imagination was ready and astray.
I then grabbed my pen.
I filled it with magic and ink.
I took some paper and began to think.
I wrote down a happy,ever after.
With the future I am after.
The romances I had made popped out of the paper.
And I didn't have to worry about later.
I wrote down a beautiful nymph.
And she began to sing her song to me.
I wrote down a happy future ,too.
In the back of the car,with the man of my dreams.
And soon,it came true.
With magic,I made it...
My imagination was ready and astray.
I then grabbed my pen.
I filled it with magic and ink.
I took some paper and began to think.
I wrote down a happy,ever after.
With the future I am after.
The romances I had made popped out of the paper.
And I didn't have to worry about later.
I wrote down a beautiful nymph.
And she began to sing her song to me.
I wrote down a happy future ,too.
In the back of the car,with the man of my dreams.
And soon,it came true.
With magic,I made it...
#fiction
#motivational
#uplifting
5 reads
0 Comments
Salvage
What has happened to my body is not my fault
How I reacted with my body is the consequence
That follows either me
Or you
But I don’t have to feel your grasp anymore
in the back of my mind,
Suppressed enough that I couldn’t see you,
But all you needed was a whisper
To possess my body
You did not just take it that day
You have taken it over and over again
Each day altering my mind
Recalibrating my nervous system
Convincing me I was never safe
I didn’t want to feel you again
I wish...
How I reacted with my body is the consequence
That follows either me
Or you
But I don’t have to feel your grasp anymore
in the back of my mind,
Suppressed enough that I couldn’t see you,
But all you needed was a whisper
To possess my body
You did not just take it that day
You have taken it over and over again
Each day altering my mind
Recalibrating my nervous system
Convincing me I was never safe
I didn’t want to feel you again
I wish...
#power
7 reads
1 Comment
Tag
Warm summer's day
Outdoors with friends
Play tag, I'm it
Run through gardens
Cobblestone paths
Too young to sit
Carrying weight
Thrill of the chase
Trying my wit
Cut through the grass
Not watching where
Into black pit
Water above
Sunlight fading
Dark walls unlit
Glee to panic
Thrashing around
Life might acquit
Fear's encounter
My second time
Not yet close-knit
Breathing water
Not really
Choking a bit
Hands from heaven
Pull...
Outdoors with friends
Play tag, I'm it
Run through gardens
Cobblestone paths
Too young to sit
Carrying weight
Thrill of the chase
Trying my wit
Cut through the grass
Not watching where
Into black pit
Water above
Sunlight fading
Dark walls unlit
Glee to panic
Thrashing around
Life might acquit
Fear's encounter
My second time
Not yet close-knit
Breathing water
Not really
Choking a bit
Hands from heaven
Pull...
#anxiety
#childhood
#death
#fear
#NaPoWriMo2024
29 reads
1 Comment
Hope
Where are you now?
I need to find you
And since I am sharing
Im losing my mind too
Dont know why I wake up
My lifes spiraling down
Im missing the one that can turn it around
I pushed you aside
I built up a wall
To protect myself
From the pain of the fall
Are you still there?
Starved from not being fed?
If I tear down this wall would i find you there dead?
I don't deserve it
But could use you right now
The way I treated you
Can you forgive me somehow?
Cuz I'm struggling...
I need to find you
And since I am sharing
Im losing my mind too
Dont know why I wake up
My lifes spiraling down
Im missing the one that can turn it around
I pushed you aside
I built up a wall
To protect myself
From the pain of the fall
Are you still there?
Starved from not being fed?
If I tear down this wall would i find you there dead?
I don't deserve it
But could use you right now
The way I treated you
Can you forgive me somehow?
Cuz I'm struggling...
#depression
#despair
41 reads
2 Comments
Frozen in Motion
Leaden gray sky weeps
Pitter patter of the rain
A chill wind bites
Lost senses, wandering gaze
People living on
Yet, here, i froze
Imprisoned within
Stuck in a loop
That strangles my breath
Its weight, oh so heavy
Making me break instead
Whispers that hold me down
Ghosts that haunt me down
Lost in my own path
Aching for a light to pierce through
Pitter patter of the rain
A chill wind bites
Lost senses, wandering gaze
People living on
Yet, here, i froze
Imprisoned within
Stuck in a loop
That strangles my breath
Its weight, oh so heavy
Making me break instead
Whispers that hold me down
Ghosts that haunt me down
Lost in my own path
Aching for a light to pierce through
#despair
#FeelingLost
#loneliness
24 reads
1 Comment
Significant
It is not what I have been through
That holds me down
It is what I have done
In reaction to it
And the shame
Of my decisions have kept me
Removed
Rather than actively trying
To correct
I thought if I hid from society
I was doing everyone a favor
Banishing myself because
I didn’t believe I deserved to
Take up space
Minimizing not only my consumption
But also my weight
Keeping small
Enough
To not
Be
Seen
...
That holds me down
It is what I have done
In reaction to it
And the shame
Of my decisions have kept me
Removed
Rather than actively trying
To correct
I thought if I hid from society
I was doing everyone a favor
Banishing myself because
I didn’t believe I deserved to
Take up space
Minimizing not only my consumption
But also my weight
Keeping small
Enough
To not
Be
Seen
...
#NaPoWriMo2024
32 reads
6 Comments
Glad
And if that day done came my kids don't fuck with me?..
I'm glad
Cause who the fuck am I ?
gone call myself trying to be a dad?
Done fought against abortions,
ain't ask if they wanted be here,
and never did I consider that without them meant the mirror
My kids without the me, that's unseen, but that's the real
And if they really was my end, then what the fuck I'm doing here?
I'm glad
Cause who the fuck am I ?
gone call myself trying to be a dad?
Done fought against abortions,
ain't ask if they wanted be here,
and never did I consider that without them meant the mirror
My kids without the me, that's unseen, but that's the real
And if they really was my end, then what the fuck I'm doing here?
#childhood
#loneliness
25 reads
0 Comments
Rose Vines
I was looking in my gold mirror.
Vines around it,rose bushes nearby.
With thorns,I did not know how or why.
The roses on the bushes are red.
Maybe if I had a prettier stem or better leaves.
And my needs feel like they haven't been read properly.
I always thought of myself as a flower.
But if I could be a red rose,I would have so much power.
Maybe if I did not have any thorns.
Or if I could remove my differences and horns.
Maybe if I dyed my petals red.
Would that make things better?
Alas,I hope...
Vines around it,rose bushes nearby.
With thorns,I did not know how or why.
The roses on the bushes are red.
Maybe if I had a prettier stem or better leaves.
And my needs feel like they haven't been read properly.
I always thought of myself as a flower.
But if I could be a red rose,I would have so much power.
Maybe if I did not have any thorns.
Or if I could remove my differences and horns.
Maybe if I dyed my petals red.
Would that make things better?
Alas,I hope...
#hope
#sadness
#uplifting
10 reads
0 Comments
HATE
I know you HATE me.
I know they HATE me.
I know everybody HATES me.
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way it'll always be.
50 years old and don't have a mfkn thing to show for it.
I don't own my place.
I don't own my car.
All i have is my job,dick & nuts
No love to call my own.
No love to love.
No love to adore.
Everyone HATES me.
My looks are to blame.
Not a handsome man.
I have nothing to offer anyone.
I can only offer what's in my heart.
Obviously nobody wants that.
I have no...
I know they HATE me.
I know everybody HATES me.
That's the way it's always been
And that's the way it'll always be.
50 years old and don't have a mfkn thing to show for it.
I don't own my place.
I don't own my car.
All i have is my job,dick & nuts
No love to call my own.
No love to love.
No love to adore.
Everyone HATES me.
My looks are to blame.
Not a handsome man.
I have nothing to offer anyone.
I can only offer what's in my heart.
Obviously nobody wants that.
I have no...
#hate
#love
26 reads
1 Comment
double take
the worst part of being
65 is that you don't worry
about relationships anymore
the best part of being
65 is that you don't worry
about relationships anymore
65 is that you don't worry
about relationships anymore
the best part of being
65 is that you don't worry
about relationships anymore
#funny
34 reads
9 Comments
Quantum
all it took for me to fall in love
was one chance, miraculous moment,
coinciding quite nicely with
a random rainy Tuesday afternoon;
the rundown yet quaint bookstore
provided the perfect intersection
between your day and mine;
I never believed in divine timing
until our eyes boldly introduced us,
spilling all our best-kept secrets
across the gardening aisle -
it was the most holy thing I’ve felt;
I still ponder the magnitude
of that small moment, a tiny seed
containing finely-detailed blueprint,
the structure of time...
was one chance, miraculous moment,
coinciding quite nicely with
a random rainy Tuesday afternoon;
the rundown yet quaint bookstore
provided the perfect intersection
between your day and mine;
I never believed in divine timing
until our eyes boldly introduced us,
spilling all our best-kept secrets
across the gardening aisle -
it was the most holy thing I’ve felt;
I still ponder the magnitude
of that small moment, a tiny seed
containing finely-detailed blueprint,
the structure of time...
#love
#NaPoWriMo2024
32 reads
4 Comments
Anchor
Sometimes you lose the anchor in your life
It’s sunk, disappeared at the bottom of the ocean
The most important person gone in a second
No air in your lungs, no wind in your sails
Your whole life changes
Just like that
It’s sunk, disappeared at the bottom of the ocean
The most important person gone in a second
No air in your lungs, no wind in your sails
Your whole life changes
Just like that
#death
#depression
#grief #sadness
#grief #sadness
51 reads
5 Comments
DU Poetry : Personal Poems Seeking Critique. Poetry about Self Reflection and Self Awareness.