The sorrows of a motherís heart sometimes are too numerous to count. The disappointment is insurmountable when it is your children who bring it about. A single parent lives trying to make up for what this childís life might lack, consoling themselves with a waterfall of tears caused by the pain and guilt carried on their back.
I have wept many a bitter tear berating myself for not being stronger, smarter, lacking courage or so full of fear. I gave my children in recompense, my youth and love, extinguishing any dreams, a disparager. They were always first, an irrefutable truth, always keeping in mind: ďthe sin of the father shall be visited upon the sonsĒ So in silence I have bared my cross for things I had done.
As they grew I tried to impart wisdom and encouragement, for a moment they the held promise of turning out well, but as they hit young adulthood the illusion dispelled, the iron hand of disappointment struck itís blow and the reign of sorrows inevitably became the norm. Where did I go wrong, what did I not do? The questions pile up but the answer is obscure, try as I might it feels like a losing battle my children are on a fast track to destruction and I, bystander useless to affect the outcome.
My heart wails its grief to the silent night, ďfather why have you forsaken me!Ē I tried and tried and yet I failed, my children will pay the price for the iniquity of not having been enough of a parent, unable to lead them into lifeís future in victory. My children will hate me and the legacy they inherit and I will go to my grave mourning my failure as a parent. I will always pray for my children and for their forgiveness hoping they realize it was hard without a counterpart and from the abyss of endless night I shall weep, the sorrows of a mothers broken heart.
* "Oh my children, how my heart for you has wept!"