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Him

he stands beside the open grave
but does not weep, and that is,
perhaps, the saddest thing of all.

grief without tears, pain without
a vent, a dam without a leak. then
inside his soul he takes a peek,

and sees nothing but an image of
himself at three, so happy, before
his hands were burned (“or was it

after?; you know, I can’t remember!”)
and before he attended primary
school, where the worry swarmed in

like flies on a lion’s carcass, all the
courage drained through tubes and
food. emotions ran high and when

they did he was called an idiot, first
by his nana, then his father, who
thought him a low rent poof, and

and kept him there beneath his roof
only because some love persisted,
dregs of scum on the bottom of

the pan, once the steak had been
removed. tears became bile and
chewed at his insides like a pack of

alley cats. the doctor’s office, though
resonant with false hopes and dreams,
was somehow comforting. the beige

walls were silent handkerchiefs, and the
receptionist always smiled, even if she
didn’t like you very much. he stands

beside the open grave and laughs, the
closest he will ever come to expressing
the pain and sorrow within. no tears for

him.

Written by Jack Heslop (Heslopian)

Published 5th February 2010 8:13am Read all poems by Jack Heslop
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

7 comments
(41 reads)

bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:03am by Abracadabra

...of self reflection at your own funeral must be one of the most morbid things you could come up with. As I would expect you handle it with all your usual skill, Jack.

re: bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:11am by Jack Heslop

This isn't actually about a funeral, Abra. I don't what it's about, to be honest. I wrote on an impulse in about three or four minutes and, well, that was that.

re: re: bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:14am by Abracadabra

The open grave is a curve you've thrown at the reader (twice) in that case, Jack. But no matter my interpretation works for me!

re: re: re: bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:16am by Jack Heslop

When have I used the "open grave" metaphor before?

re: re: re: re: bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:45am by Abracadabra

It occurs twice in this poem - which is what I was referring to Jack.

re: re: re: re: re: bitter honesty

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 9:46am by Jack Heslop

Well yes but that was because I was trying to circle back to the start in my final verse. Anyway, the point is that you liked the poem and I'm a silly humbug for picking at you because of some mild, helpful criticism:-)

re: lovely

0

Poet

Written on 5th February 2010 2:06pm by Jack Heslop

Thank you so much Priya! I always anticipate your comments on my poems so your approval really does mean the world to me:-)

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