deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dark Clouds Shining Above Me
Every light turned on
100 watts in each socket
Trying to rid myself
Of this black cloud over me
Deserving as it may be
It's to much by myself
Over powering
Never releasing its grip
A steady stream of pain
Dead end streets
Holding back tears
Confidence stealing
24/7 reminding me of regrets
I can't change
So close to the end of hope
Thinking going blackface
And rob Zimmerman
Be sucicide by a racist
can't believe I want out
Of this thing I use to love
robbed myself
Stole my smile
Tied myself up
And put me in thepassenger seat
Drove so far out
That if i turn around now
would still take 53 years
To find a way back
Maybe find Stan
Give him the keys
Have me swimming with his ex
Cause I ain't worth
The worry , stress , pain and tears
I cause others
Pray some nights
my loved ones would just forget me
Have no memory of me
Instead of him
Should've been me
Countless times got drunk thinking of that
Then had 8 more
Cussing the world over losing him
And to the reader of this
Believe me
These words ain't for a pity party
A poor me speech
Look what I been through bullshit
It's a honest confession to the world
I f'd up me by myself
Knowing it as I did it
Now To weak to relearn how to live ,love , or give again
I can't find the want for another breathe
Hard to go on
After losing yourself
Hard to show face
Knowing next time I show face
That Judgement already been made
Self hate and no self respect
Hard to think about memories from yesterday
While seeing myself today
Useless waste
A shell
a what could've been
No goals
No dreams
No hard dick for master baiting
No money for a whore to give me a hand
Maybe it's time to start turning out these lights
Say my silent goodbyes
Maybe I am bipolar but
I don't give a shit
Maybe an asshole
But I don't give a shit
But Maybe this is what started it all
People trying figure me out
Trying to label me
And you know what
I don't give a shit
I'm not white , Christian, a wigger, atheist, good or bad guy, nor gay , bi or straight , hetro or metro , tall , obese , a dick or pussy ,
I'm just open minded
Without thinking I have to make excuse for me to be just me
Because you know what
I don't give a shit
100 watts in each socket
Trying to rid myself
Of this black cloud over me
Deserving as it may be
It's to much by myself
Over powering
Never releasing its grip
A steady stream of pain
Dead end streets
Holding back tears
Confidence stealing
24/7 reminding me of regrets
I can't change
So close to the end of hope
Thinking going blackface
And rob Zimmerman
Be sucicide by a racist
can't believe I want out
Of this thing I use to love
robbed myself
Stole my smile
Tied myself up
And put me in thepassenger seat
Drove so far out
That if i turn around now
would still take 53 years
To find a way back
Maybe find Stan
Give him the keys
Have me swimming with his ex
Cause I ain't worth
The worry , stress , pain and tears
I cause others
Pray some nights
my loved ones would just forget me
Have no memory of me
Instead of him
Should've been me
Countless times got drunk thinking of that
Then had 8 more
Cussing the world over losing him
And to the reader of this
Believe me
These words ain't for a pity party
A poor me speech
Look what I been through bullshit
It's a honest confession to the world
I f'd up me by myself
Knowing it as I did it
Now To weak to relearn how to live ,love , or give again
I can't find the want for another breathe
Hard to go on
After losing yourself
Hard to show face
Knowing next time I show face
That Judgement already been made
Self hate and no self respect
Hard to think about memories from yesterday
While seeing myself today
Useless waste
A shell
a what could've been
No goals
No dreams
No hard dick for master baiting
No money for a whore to give me a hand
Maybe it's time to start turning out these lights
Say my silent goodbyes
Maybe I am bipolar but
I don't give a shit
Maybe an asshole
But I don't give a shit
But Maybe this is what started it all
People trying figure me out
Trying to label me
And you know what
I don't give a shit
I'm not white , Christian, a wigger, atheist, good or bad guy, nor gay , bi or straight , hetro or metro , tall , obese , a dick or pussy ,
I'm just open minded
Without thinking I have to make excuse for me to be just me
Because you know what
I don't give a shit
Published 28th Sep 2016
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The author encourages honest critique.
welcome to DUP brotha! This is some raw ink with a lot going on right here. Is this something you wrote today or did you write it in the past and just uploaded it? I like that this feels like it was written on the spot within a short period of time (was it?) which gives it this furry that some heavily refined poems lose. Finally i can relate to the pain you describe, but one suggestion to make it more artistic would be to use some unique metaphors. Being direct the way you are is very powerful, if you described some of these feelings with well though out metaphors i feel that it could take it to the next level!
Thanks for sharing and i look forward to seeing what else you post!
One love homie
Thanks for sharing and i look forward to seeing what else you post!
One love homie
28th Sep 2016 2:58am
Appreciate the feedback. Its a few months old but like most of my writings it's raw emotion or thoughts. I'm not close to doing it but I enjoy words put together that paint a picture in someone's head. Thanks for reading it and the advice.
