After Death

I am so afraid.
Afraid of death.

I have been told my fear of heights is irrational.

But I am not afraid of them because I'm to far above solid ground...
No.

Heights frighten me
Because
If I fall,
That fall leads to a "splat".
That collision with the ground tends to end ....in death.

I'm terrified of dying.

What if
There is no heaven?
No hell?
No peace?
Not even darkness?

What if death
Is like
A breathless sleep?
A thoughtless, dreamless sleep?

What if
When we die
There is just an unconsciousness?

Sort of like
When you watch a movie
Start to finish
And right as the last scene is played/ lived,
The power goes out...
Eternally,
Before the credits get a chance to roll.

I'm terrified of dying.

I don't want to be cast into
An unconscious,  black oblivion.

I want to know if...
"the light at the end of the tunnel"
Is just the light one sees
of another hospital room;
When leaving your mother
To be truly born again.

If not
Then I don't know
If I like
Having been born.

If we're only going to die
And never see the sun again.

Never having
A shot at another,
Completely differently lived
Lifetime.

As a completely
Different person.

And even though
Completely different....

Perhaps having
Just another chance

At
Consciousness.