Box Of Ashes

As of late, sometimes a door locked
more often than not closed
sealing off a  –
world of a loved one no longer with us
just a few months gone
and now all that remains
are the fond memories remembered between family
and friends
around your favorite spots hanging out, with beers in our hands
tilting them to the side, a sip for you
You made us smile – all the time when you were with us
and now we smile remembering you
And now….
In your room on a desk sits
a box of ashes
a box of you
and tears fucking stream from my eyes in painful torrents and they buzz with hurt
I cannot believe you’ve been reduced to this.
It’s so heavy.
This moment is heavy.
To think that my father had to go and pick up his son
in a box
I was told by my foster brother he fell to his knees and cried as he clutched
his son
his ashes
in a box.
And then I cried upon realizing that
in that box
is my little baby brother
and should I want to hold him,
here he sits next to me,
as I write these lines –
trying to find meaning in the words
“ashes to ashes, dust to dust”


For my little brother.
RIP - Justin Bergquist, May 13th 2011