deepundergroundpoetry.com

Methadone Mayhem

How many times can I fall out
Before I truly am shot out
How much can the brain really take
Impacting the decisions that I make
How many times sick though booking at ACJ
Just to stay clean far less then one fucking day
Rehab after Rehab back once again
I just want my fucking pain to end
I want to go lift weights,  but can't move to pee
My stomach is doing back flips, that's enough work out for me
Physical pain will subside,  then comes the sickness in my head
When is that? Methadone detox will make the strongest men wish they were dead
Detox is harder each time and I'm not getting younger
The opiates I crave are a deep embedded hunger
My kids still love me, they look up to their dad
They don't see me as a dope fiend scumbag
Maybe that's wishful thinking, my kids aren't  dumb
Maybe that realization, my brain has gone numb
So many years,  so many drugs; am I really shot out
Is this what the rest of my life is gonna be about
No appetite,  no sleep; day by day I waste away
Well it's better to burn out then fade away
As said by Neil Young and possibly Kurt
Cobain
If I died today it would all be in vain
If I died today it would all be in my veins
Seeing my girls go this route is my biggest fear
I WILL set an example, it's what fucking brought me here
All I want is to be free of my methadone crutch
I never wanted anything so bad, never feared anything so much
Written by dmccartan (Dave McCartan)
Published | Edited 29th Apr 2016
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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