I AM SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS

How many words do I need to tell myself to convince myself of something?
Are any words necessary?
I have a problem.  
Every time I get high I think about why am I doing this.
I know the path I am on is hurting me, my family, and causes me to not have friends.
I risk the rest of my life on getting high.
I sacrifice time getting high.
I justify substituting drugs like that is progress.
I am overwhelmingly hypercritical.
I tell myself I am going to quit and then I give up EVERY FUCKING TIME.
What happened to any sort of discipline?
What happened to my morals?
I AM SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THIS.
I am tired of being tired while not living up to my potential.
I have so much to live for.  
Yeah, this moment I am in is tough but it is only going to get harder.
No one is going to save me.
This is 100% on me.
Am I going to man up and do something about it or fall into this fucking trap?
What happened to rage against the dying light?
I need to thrive.
I have so much catching up to do I cant afford my time or energy to getting high all the time.
 I owe it to everyone around me.
My parents,
my coworkers,
grandparents,
cousins,
aunts,
dog,
friends,
and myself to quite while I am ahead.

not today mother fucker
not today.