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The Art of Deceptive Honesty
There will always be people who lie. Those who blurt out the first seemingly relevant conception that pops into their head when asked to disclose a truth they'd rather not. Some may even have good reason for such, to protect one from hurt... etc.
Then there are those who take it to then next level, the crafty liars who set out to deceive, take advantage of you for whatever it is they may desire of you. They may get you at first, but with any amount of time spent their true demeanor becomes readily evident, and they are easily dismissed for the sleaze that they are, if they have not escaped with something of value to you first.
Finally there are the *deceptively honest... those very few who have developed the ability to answer every question with a truth, even if not the truth being sought. A truth that in no manner answers the question asked, yet most times will lead the questioning party astray in thought, directing focus elsewhere, while also reassuring the questioning party with a verify able truth. I find myself at a true loss for words in trying to come up with an adjective for such people. Am I to assume such untruth revealing truths are meant for a good reason? I was taught a lie with "no good reason" for it usually doesn't have one. I am left with the same hollow feeling in the face of these.
I have to question the morality of such tactic... that is to say if one somehow believes they are not lying in doing such?...that their soul is somehow exempt from the lie that never touched their lips, though lives on in the desired truths they never voiced, buried beneath the evergrowing pile of irrelevant truths they do utter? I must also question the severity of the non sin, when if pushed any further on the topic it only results in more implied truths that never address the question but attempt to justify a non-answer at the expense of the questioning party... and if the damage done to another soul in trying to "protect" their own in such a manner would not be counted against them as well?
As disturbing as it is to recognize such happening, it is by it very nature a crime not recognizable in its first offense. Once recognized, to look back and find its repetitious pattern in the past undercuts all stability and trust held in the relationship. Stability and trust now lacking, I must ask then if anger at such a dilemma is not justified? Why must I feel guilt in needing an end to such a vicious cycle? I will tally these questions in with all the others a string of malicious truths, strung together with no other intent but to deceive, leaves unanswered. I am pissed! I am hurt... and the guilt I feel for leaving, in complete darkness to the truths sought, only pissed me off more.
I have been told I will never have a future if I cannot let go of a scarring past. That maybe so, but neither can I leave the past behind by reliving it. Though I am perfectly capable of moving on from my past, I cannot shut off the Virgo attentiveness that has resulted from it. The traits that differ in a person when they are conversing normally as opposed to lying. Blame it on poker... finding a person's tells is instinctive to me. If I ask a question, derived from noticing such behavior, is this my flaw then, when a simple truthful answer would relieve any misconception. The flaw is not in the asking, but in one's inability to answer the fuming question!
If I can walk away unchallenged here, the decision of what is more important between myself and the withheld information has already been made, and not in my favor. If both I and it cannot be shared in said relationship, the silence only leads me to question the severity of what has been withheld. With the art of deceptive honesty so finely polished here, one has to wonder how many years has this craft been in practice?... if such deceit is merely a personality trait, rather than conscious whim, or some enhanced self-defense mechanism? I can only conclude it to be the mind fuck of all mind fucks.
I do not want to be told what it is you think I want to hear, all I have ever wanted is simple honesty... honesty relevant to the questions I ask. There is only one question left now, and that being another I am sue I will never have answer to... "why?"
Published 22nd Jul 2015
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23rd Jul 2015 1:01am
Ahhh, Shine_of_Darkness, luv ~ :-*
Tis quite a conundrum oft-times, human interaction, isn't it? It seems to me, mayhap, the query you may be failing to see due to pain at deception and closeness to the situation is this: sometimes, the types of communication people develop has a great deal to do with what their formative experiences were like.
You address this in a couple of ways: when referencing your capability to identify lies, misdirections, and deceptive truths and how you acquired it - you mention scars from the past. Indeed, you also make reference to:
a personality trait, rather than conscious whim, or some enhanced self-defense mechanism?
Then say:
I can only conclude it to be the mind fuck of all mind fucks.
Of course, there are a vast array of possibilities here. Two stand out to me, especially.
Deliberate obfuscation, which I do not know how I would defuse right off-hand, quite frankly.
And, the possibility the self-defense is unconscious, subconscious honed from childhood incidents. In this case, the person may not even be aware of what he or she does and the pain and frustration it causes. Tis a way of life and mayhap his or her wounds run deeply. Unlocking this, helping unlock this will be difficult but may be welcomed, ultimately.
The question then becomes one revolving around how much time and energy you are willing to utilize to see which is the case and whether change is desired if it becomes apparent tis the second situation in play.
I extrapolate too much, luv. Please forgive me if I've gone on too long. My ruminations and suppositions may entirely be wrong, undoubtedly. I wrote because I wished to give additional perspective if I could for you seemed in such pain and so angered.
You write of all this with such skill even though it seems you may have been in some haste to get thoughts down while in the throes of anger and frustration. You are a very talented crafter of thought, luv, and your perspective is deep.
Tis quite a conundrum oft-times, human interaction, isn't it? It seems to me, mayhap, the query you may be failing to see due to pain at deception and closeness to the situation is this: sometimes, the types of communication people develop has a great deal to do with what their formative experiences were like.
You address this in a couple of ways: when referencing your capability to identify lies, misdirections, and deceptive truths and how you acquired it - you mention scars from the past. Indeed, you also make reference to:
a personality trait, rather than conscious whim, or some enhanced self-defense mechanism?
Then say:
I can only conclude it to be the mind fuck of all mind fucks.
Of course, there are a vast array of possibilities here. Two stand out to me, especially.
Deliberate obfuscation, which I do not know how I would defuse right off-hand, quite frankly.
And, the possibility the self-defense is unconscious, subconscious honed from childhood incidents. In this case, the person may not even be aware of what he or she does and the pain and frustration it causes. Tis a way of life and mayhap his or her wounds run deeply. Unlocking this, helping unlock this will be difficult but may be welcomed, ultimately.
The question then becomes one revolving around how much time and energy you are willing to utilize to see which is the case and whether change is desired if it becomes apparent tis the second situation in play.
I extrapolate too much, luv. Please forgive me if I've gone on too long. My ruminations and suppositions may entirely be wrong, undoubtedly. I wrote because I wished to give additional perspective if I could for you seemed in such pain and so angered.
You write of all this with such skill even though it seems you may have been in some haste to get thoughts down while in the throes of anger and frustration. You are a very talented crafter of thought, luv, and your perspective is deep.
23rd Jul 2015 2:31am
I could almost believe this to be a subconscious trait, Savaja, and have wondered at that many times myself. The problem lies in even broaching the subject with said other. I become the devil incarnate to her with mention of her lies, even though I have tangible proof and numerous story changing self contradictions.
That you could spot my haste in this is commendable. Was typing in class, trying to avoid notice, yet not wanting to wait till later with it weighing so heavily on my mind.
I do love her, and there is no length I would not go through to correct this division with us, but I can no longer sit idle and let it continue unchanging at the price of "me" in a very literal sense. Lol... almost feels like a dear Abby letter.
By all accounts your analysis is spot on. I appreciate you taking the time to read and reply in such a manner.
Thank you so much. :)
Michael
That you could spot my haste in this is commendable. Was typing in class, trying to avoid notice, yet not wanting to wait till later with it weighing so heavily on my mind.
I do love her, and there is no length I would not go through to correct this division with us, but I can no longer sit idle and let it continue unchanging at the price of "me" in a very literal sense. Lol... almost feels like a dear Abby letter.
By all accounts your analysis is spot on. I appreciate you taking the time to read and reply in such a manner.
Thank you so much. :)
Michael
23rd Jul 2015 5:56am
your thoughts flow wonderfully in this piece... felt the realness... amazing ink Michael
25th Jul 2015 3:18am
Thank you for gracing my page and for your comment, MagicVisionz. A little too real I suppose.
Michael
Michael
2nd Aug 2015 5:06pm
No debate, in my book, a lie is a deliberative choice made. My husband lies, just to lie, I think. You can always tell! For pity sake, just spit it out!!!
2nd Aug 2015 7:11pm
" a lie is a deliberative choice made."
That says it all right there, Survivor. And you can always tell, too, once your eyes have been opened by betrayal. Would rather die choking on the most hideous truth ever revealed than live with a lie I never knew the reason for. Sadly, the latter is usually the only choice given.
Thank you so much for your read, and your input. It is much appreciated.
Michael
That says it all right there, Survivor. And you can always tell, too, once your eyes have been opened by betrayal. Would rather die choking on the most hideous truth ever revealed than live with a lie I never knew the reason for. Sadly, the latter is usually the only choice given.
Thank you so much for your read, and your input. It is much appreciated.
Michael
