Jedi Mind Rape!(lyrics)

 Take everything from me,
This time.
Leave me alone to wallow,
This time.
Shame shadows and it follows,
This time.
I long for understanding,
All the time!
  
 
 All the time!  
All the time I spend loathing.
Breaking myself for your nothing.
Oblivious to my surroundings,
when the rum sets in.
Driving my soul straight to hell,  
when I smoke the clouds of my delusional heaven,
to forget about when my guardian angel died,  
and when I was just seven,
I told myself I'll see her in heaven,
but I find procrastination,
in this life.
 
 
  Take everything from me,
This time.
Leave me alone to wallow,
This time.
Shame shadows and it follows,
This time.
I long for my demise,
Sometimes.  
 
  Sometimes I sniff for comfort,
To forget his two bouts with cancer.
Powder in my blood,
to make up for the loss of hugs.
Sex with harlots just to lie about love,
because I'm tired of being alone.
The bottles do nothing but cluster,
the path to my mother.
I'm too mortified to regret,
so the substance helps me reject.
Blocking the pain that's knocking,  
on my door.
Ending chapters early,
because I want to die young,
because I want to die dumb,
having fun!
Crushed dreams with my cocaine,
numbs every inch of pain!
Pills put me on the hills,
rolling down to perdition.  
Malice in my head.
I've got a heart of coal,
because I chain when smoke,
Nicotine puts me to sleep,  
while I am awake.
It's the life I live,
so it's mine to take.  
When ever I want!
 
 
  Take everything from me,
This time.
Leave me alone to wallow,
This time.
Shame shadows and it follows,
This time.
I long for love to find me,
Even if it hurts.  
Never know until I try.
Next time.
Hopefully I'll find the light,
and I won't lose it like,
This time.
 
 
  Mother walk me through,
Flames of hell!
They tell me that I'm destined to fail,
and the voices in the air,
say that I am frail.
Doubt you can cleanse my soul,
even with his holy grail.
The last time I saw your face,
you were cold and stale.
 As I reached in for a kiss,
I saw that your skin was pale.
I waited for a kiss back,
As everyone cried.
No tears in my eyes,
as I didn't realize,
that you died.
That marked the beginning,
of my fucked up fairy tale.  
 
   All the sugar,  
Not so sweet
I wait for heart attacks,  
to knock me off my feet.
This time.
The loss will affect me.
This time.  
My choices can  hurt me.
This time.