deepundergroundpoetry.com
YOU EXCITE
All of my senses you excite;
With you I'd bodily unite,
Making the room in which we lie
Echo to sounds of You with I,
Generating sufficient heat
To make us glow from face to feet.
With you I'd bodily unite,
Making the room in which we lie
Echo to sounds of You with I,
Generating sufficient heat
To make us glow from face to feet.
Published 21st May 2015
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21st May 2015 1:28pm
Well...It's a nice poem but you shouldn't have ended with You and I. It's You and me that is correct. Still, you made the rhyme work and strict grammar rules don't always apply to poetry. This is a clever mixture of words and I enjoyed it very uch.
21st May 2015 8:38pm
In my country "you and I" was a usage that was recommended more highly by my English teachers than "me and you" or "me and X", with the two latter being regarded as more casual expressions. This was how the lines - to which I have since added two more - came up in my mind the night before I wrote this. This was written in spirit of "romantic and sexy".
21st May 2015 11:47pm
i enjoyed the read Solomon...
i don't know why...and i haven't read his sonnets etc...but reading this Shakespeare came to mind...
strange how the mind works..... :)
i don't know why...and i haven't read his sonnets etc...but reading this Shakespeare came to mind...
strange how the mind works..... :)
