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Tattered soul

Teeth rotting...
Just waiting for the day they'll fall out.
Stomach empty...
Still no desire for food.
I lay here, a weak 95lbs...
Lost for words.
Not sure if I remember how to speak... My mouth feels like cotton, so I doubt if I'd even be able to get a word out. Who'd want to hear my voice spit pointless vowels?... I even hate hearing me speak. I'm just a shell of somebody I used to be. Forever dammed with past memories... Shunned by society. Labeled as a dope fiend. The tar don't judge... She listens and indulges my greatest fantasies.
I breathe her in... In a more sustainable state of mind... But still managing to be unsatisfied. I'm just waiting for the day I hit my rock bottom... Hopefully then I'll want to live a sober life. But there's nothing I can do now accept smoke away my pride, wait for tomorrow and hope that this year flies by.

~Mariah Dalli

Written by MariahEatsBabies13

(MariahDoll)

Published 15th May 2015 | Edited 13th Jun 2015

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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Re: Tattered soul

Anonymous

18th May 2015 11:50am

I love I'm just a shell of somebody I used to be. Forever damned with past memories. Shunned by society. Labeled as a dope fiend, but the tar don't judge..takes guts girl to bare your soul in your writing like this and I so relate..feel like I'm just waiting on death myself one agonizing moment at a time. There's gotta be a special place beyond the place for us "junkies" though:)..even if we just sleep forever..great write..and I'd want to listen to you spit pointless vowels..lol..I'd spit some of my own back at ya..

MariahEatsBabies13 (MariahDoll)

- Edited 13th Jun 2015 5:08pm

13th Jun 2015 5:03pm

I'm glad you enjoyed the write. I usually enjoy writing when my mind is wandering. I tend to be very bleak, but hey that's just me... And the drugs lmao but I know there is more out there for me and the rest of humanity... I have a good heart and soul... I just have been through a different kind of hell and drugs are my way of coping... For now anyways :P Have a good one.
~Moe