Depression

I'm there again
How do I even describe this?
I can't.

It's like there is a cloud of smoke
It's filling the air around me
It's filling my lungs too
Turning them to coal

Yet there Is no fucking fire

I'm angry, frustrated, upset
with myself for breathing it in
even though i couldn't have
predicted it.

There we're no warning signs
or fire alarms.

It's a constant battle against
the unknown and the reality is,
how do I defeat something
when It's inside me?

When I can't see through
this smoke to find the
escape door?

When this smoke is so
unpredictable and I don't know
when the next outbreak will be?

When I'm stuck inside this house and
the smoke is has blistered the wallpaper.

It's everywhere, like It's alive with a
beating heart so black and twisted.

It's consumed the furniture
just like it's consumed me.

What happens now?

What happens when my lungs
lose their last breath and all that
remains is ash?

How do I fight the thing I have become?

How do I win against the smoke
if now I am thee?