My rehab

I think about my past,
The thought of time machines can't make the dream last.
I would go back to who I used to be,
Instead of what the fuck I am,
A monster,
Who feeds on itself.
Neglect of my health,
For outlook.
Try to make me an inpatient,
Bitch fuck your motherfucking rehab.

Rehabilitate,
What you can't  facilitate,
I didn't know they had zoo's for demons.
Debilitation my innocence,
But that bitch left my soul fucking indigent,
I hold left over pride in my penmanship.
Pull my pen apart to snort up my negligence .
Now I'm lost,
In a world full of ignorance.
But fuck it.
All this killing of my dignity,
Gets drowned,
When 1800 shots start floating around.
All the vomit and the nose bleeds,
Show me,
What the fuck I am, and who the fuck I'm not.
I'm not that same old little kid,
That you loved.
I'm a motherfucking miscreant so save your hugs.
Momma have a rollover,
In her grave.
Daddy have a heart attack,
Oh lord!
When he find out Jonny Boy died of cardiac arrest.
Overdosed on self loathing,
To kill the love lost.

   When I don't have no grams,
I pump up by the liter.
Depleted,
Of the love that I had,
When my momma died it was all up to dad,
And damn,
That man did his best,
It wasn't until I left,
That I became a fucking mess.
God damned,
What I am today
Suicide can leave me silent,
But my words will stay alive ,
So fuck it.

  She told me let this shit out,
Its assurance that I shit out.
This ain't that 22 year old,
More like 18 with today's fucking problems.
All those lost ones rolling on the hill,
I love you,
All the miscreants choking on those pills,
Stay up.
All you people fucking shooting dope,
Keep hope.
All my people that snort  the coke,
Rage on
And if you're an "alcohol enthusiast"
Fuck your bullshit,
The life that we chose is a short one to live.


    Take me away from what I am today
I live in pain so I can share my spirit.
I want the fucking world to hear it.
She said let this shit out,
So I let this fucking shit out

 Mortified because I am running out of pride,
And all my friends are on the other side,
So I confide in the world,
There has to be someone who knows my pain.
Life is like a game,
If I lose, I lose my life.
Can you fix what's broken?
Bitch,
This is my motherfucking rehab.

  The last time that I prayed to you,
I asked for help on a drug test.
Lord forgive my fucking ignorance.
My stupidity rises with my tolerance.
I lose my brain on the fast lane,
But this is my motherfucking rehab.