MY MOTHER-IN-LAW DILEMMA  (light verse)  

today she wore big curlers in her hair          
like cannons aimed ready to blare          
         
her lipstick and powder          
looking like bouillabaisse chowder          
         
and when she demanded a goodbye "peck"          
i said no way          
         
which made her rear back in her chair and bray,          
"go home then and kiss a stingray!"          
         
she cackled and cackled          
raising my hackles          
         
thinks she is the second joan rivers          
but she only gives me the shivers          
         
now i was fearing another fight nearing          
seeing this witch's eyes evilly peering          
         
and when she rose in her          
tightly buckled doll-like boots          
         
i heard a barrage          
of high pitched toots          
         
forcing me to storm out the door          
needing fresh air, but i'll go back          
         
once i can psych myself
into getting on the proper son-in-law track