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Daily Journal
inaha brie's Daily Journal
Thursday, February 24, 2015
4:42:09 AM
awww.... O'my God, do i love Him so... Yet feel so guilty, for keeping Him up so late... Lordy, i just love to hear His voice though... negidi inaha tsia anagi Itancanka... loving Him, missing Him... already... and we was just talking... But am going to rest my mind a bit.... some thoughts i not wish to have is lerking about. noticed right hand twitching... maybe a little toke will do...
Thursday, February 24, 2015
1:25:17 PM
skills has been a bit off today... am fine, think its just more this cold that lingers and the stress over nicole... yet its not been that bad... looking forward to talking with Itancanka, seems like just reading His words i feel better. my thoughts always is much more clearer... and i feel myself slipping less these days... a couple more things to do, then chores done. after i will take a shower... shit, sister calling... damn it thoughts on hold.
4:10 PM
became distracted talking with my sister earlier, then slipped into a hot shower... and now going to writing a bit, till i see Your words... i am loving....
Thursday, February 24, 2015
11:23:07 PM
You, asking me to tell You how sexy i am... not know if i am ever truly going to get use to that... but will keep trying. i just don't see it... but i love You anyway, Daddy. You don't know how much.... thinking back to You walking trying to find the goat... listening to Your voice that night... questioning what my heart was feeling. wondering how i could desire You so much and not know much of You. and yet even have felt Your first touch... not even met in person yet.... think that is when we agreed to first meet... before i first asked You to kolar me... i think listening to You that night. How we related and feeling my slave heat just opened up to You...damn Baby, Daddy... You had me, right then and there... i am loving You... my Itancanka!
Thursday, February 25, 2015
7:28 AM
waking up dreaming.... so real, that i could almost touch You. awww, i want to be with You so much...caressing my neck, down to my chest across my heart...reaching my heat, such a Kolar i already feel...awww. i love my Itancanka! Causing my juices to flow.. Keeping You in my thoughts, i know i must get up and start my day... Yet i am wanting to be a little greedy and lay here a bit longer lusting, craving Your touch... Your milk... awww, what fucken torture... To taunt such a wet puss, yess. Daddy's pussy is wet... awww, O'my God .... Itancanka, i am loving You....awww. Fuck yea... Tasting my juices, thank You Daddy... i love You. Now, i must start my day...awww
Thursday, February 25, 2015
9:45:10 PM
Today has seemed a bit long and yet the night isn't over... my thoughts are racing like they always do... Brother Frank has chatted with me a few times... Still online, but think He is busy with some girl He found to play with... At a Club He went to. Wish He would just find a true submissive... i know He has it in Him to make a great Master... If He wouldn't allow the power trip to get to His head... His father wasn't nothing like mine. Tells me all the time. That His Father, treated Him and my birth mother like trash... have no idea why she left my Father for that... Guess wanting to see the world and to party wasn't all that it was cracked up to be... But on the other hand its like her and i has little more in common than just blood... Difference is i faught like hell to get me and my daughter out of our own hell... my tarnished collar. she wallowed in hers... Allowing not only herself to be broken... But as well, her Son to all most become barbaricly cruel... Due to the abuse that He endured... i don't hate her for walking out. Feel sorry for her, that she wasn't happy with her inner self.... So much that she ended up settling never finding what she was looking for... That is sad.... i may not see my beauty, but i am comfortable with the slave within... well i am at least true to her.. much improvement is needed to be comfortable with her... and that is left up to my Itancanka to correct... loving You Daddy...
Thursday, February 26, 2015
8:07:17 AM
woke up this morning once again, calling out for You. my dreams have been so real. To the point that i can feel Your touch, hear Your voice. Such an acheing desire comes over me that i want You so much. You have made me feel more alive than i have felt in years. and we have yet even physically touched...my Itancanka... i loving You... falling madly in love with You!
i been up for awhile already... done a bit of tidying... yet still have a little to do... going to work on a story awhile as well... and take a shower, feeling guilty for who ever has moved in down stairs... You in my thoughts, and my desires becomes so loud... lustfully loud...awwww... i loving my Itancanka... O'my God, mother if you can... hopa hopaplease...tell Father, i kneel finally in my rightful place... momma!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
11:30:24 PM
O'my God. what can i say....besides that my heart is rejoicing... He has awaken my heat.. Not talking of just lustful heat... But more so, the heat of a the inaha deep within. That craves to serve out of love and devotion to her true Itancanka... Not a moment goes by that He isn't in my thoughts.... Keeping me longing for His touch, His guidance... awww His love. Just wanting to be with Him..... Never thought, that i would have fallen so fast and hard. But yet, i feel as if i am flying....love You my Itancanka!
Friday February 27, 2015
6:01:09 AM
Another day waking up such a desire over comes me....Couldn't help but to caress my heat... Feeling Your puss wet with lustfull loving desires... Craving for Your touch...wanting so much to be with You. Start our life together... The thought of laying in Your furs... waking You, with Your morning coffee... Or just maybe awww. naw, i know we will many times over and over again. Will earn my morning milk while washing You in a early morning shower or just simply serveing You... Your coffee. awww What life we are going to live... no matter the kink, ours is already strong. It feels as if we have known each other for years... yet just getting to know each other. Not sure if that sounds crazy or not. But, yet that is how i feel.... You are apart of me now... i feel that i can't live without You already. awww..... i am loving You my Itancanka!
Friday February 27, 2015
11:26:12 PM
i know that we have been chatting, throughout the day... and yes we will be together soon. But it seems like this weather wants to keep us apart. i read Your words, we share our feelings and thoughts.... You keep saying how beautiful i am. wishing i could see what You see. awww. lol...at least You have yet said You will refuse me Your touch... shhhh, sabrina...you'll put your own foot in your mouth...awwwwww.. yess, He wants to call.... thoughts on hold...
fuck... what did i tell you, always putting your foot in your mouth... Daddy, caught on how to correct that didn't He... O'my God, i love Him... can tell He, has even a heart of a true Master... which isn't easy to find in many Masters... They lose touch with the Man within... The Human side of Them selves... Damn can see myself slipping on this... fear i might be begging Daddy's touch a lot.. Or maybe i can wing it... till i truly believe what He sees in me... shhhhhh, darn it sabrina hush... Now i think that one is realizing the true meaning behind Father spelling my name the way He did on birth record... sub'rina... go ahead, continue to put your foot in your mouth... lol,.... Father always said a true submissive will always show that there is always room for correction and guidance... That is why dominance and discipline with always a loving mastering caring hand is so important for the growth of a submissive so a Master can create a true inaha...
damn it Frank, no fair... sign out Brother... that was personal...lol
mmmmmmm, yet am loving You anyway my Itancanka! my God am i loving You... can't believe Brother heard all that... been listening to me for hours... damn.. really i need to start checking my yahoo...shit that not help...invisible shit! no fair, damn it!
Saturday February 28, 2015
2:45 AM
my thoughts are racing, working on this story... so many ideas, possiblilities. Not sure which one, that i really wish to run with... Keep re-wording, seeing what one turns me on the most. Close my eyes, and i can picture our lives years later... Still just full of life... And so much love for one another... That i can't ever see us growing tired... Do believe we may just have what my Father and mother had for one another... i may not see my beauty as You... but i do see what we have together my Itancanka... promise i will continue to try to see myself as Your sexy little slut... not saying that i wont slip. Which, "Daddy., i will beg for Your touch... any discipline to correct so i do see, what You see in me". my Itancanka! awww...... loving You Master!
Saturday
February 28, 2015
12:35:04 Pm
Taking a bit of a break from my chores... thoughts a racing, trying to calm them down... right hand twitching. Everything is ok... Just worried a bit of nicole... Isn't easy as a mother to not be able to protect and always provide...even after she is grown and out on her own...i know i have to let go... But its hard, more so that my grandson is a concern as well.... awww shit, my sugar is high damn 258.... Need to bring it back down... i've been less active today.. Ok, enough of this... i refuse to allow myself to wallow get up sabrina move on.... Even with my worries, i feel Him with me.... ease me knowing that my even when my thoughts are woundering i can already feel Itancanka pulling me back to Him... noticing that my right hand has stopped twitching.... mmmm After my thoughts drifted towards Itancanka... maybe, Brother is right....
Saturday February 28, 2015
10:15:35 Pm
awwww..... You not know just how breath taking it is. Just to see Your words... And to know that i upset You even just a bit is un bareable... Yes video was my discipline.... But yet the thought of You watching me...awww. Then on the other hand i look at what i see of myself.. And i question how can You enjoy... Yes i know my words may cause me discipline. But journals are to be honest... And i will not lie to You... my Itancanka, awww... i may not always want to admit something even to myself at times... But i will not lie... i know that i still have a passionat kinky drive to myself... that has never been the problem.... my submissive nature has never left this human shell... i know she is deep within me. i feel her every day of my life... Or i would not have seek for such a Man...
Yet, this one is not blind, she sees what the mirrew shows... awww. Damn i feel my bottom getting warm.... awww, Daddy... hopa hopaplease awww Okay, darn... i am beautiful in Your eyes.... and i will work on being beautiful in mine... alright?....loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
5:oo:02 AM
awww, naw naw... am ok was only a dream within a dream. calm myself down, good Daddy's pic is still up... alright am ok.. calm down sabrina, he naw longer tarnishes your neck... your heart and soul is owned and kolared now... its different now, you kneel in your rightful place... to an honorable Itancanka... you feel Him, this very moment, pulling you back from the darkness of your past.... its ok now, am calm now awwwww... loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
12:oo PM
This morning, woke dreaming within a dream... didn't really like it much, yet Daddy was there to pull me back... thank You Itancanka... i felt You.. thank You! worry at times if my bad days are going to out weigh my good. Brother Frank and as well as my Father would say that isn't for a slave to worry of. That is for the Master that has chosen to collar the slave. For He decided to take her and her many flaws so He can correct and improve what He can... And adjust to what He can't so she can best serve His needs and wants... desire and pleasure will and is found. wishing that my past was happy at being just that... if some how it wouldn't find its way to haunt my memories. maybe i could start seeing what Daddy sees.. again Brother Frank has said... sis He already showing that He is able to break through them memories... just never shut Him out even no matter how dark they get... His guidance, discipline wont always be easy... it can't be to break such a past... be true to yourself sis... remember what your Father taught.. allow the inaha within come to the surfus so you can heal and kneel serving Him well and you will see your true beauty again...
awww. Frank, i forget You was there... will put thoughts on hold and finish up on last bit of chores... awww. sugar is ok... You wouldn't.... shit, alright i'll test it... damn it 62. i know. will have a bite to eat... yes i did...typed while mouthing off at You Brother... ok... grrrrr. alrigh, to explain... my Itancanka... Brother just seen me stumle while my cam was up running. told me to check my sugar... i was a bit mouthy... giving Him lip. sugar low... i will eat. am ok.... awww Frank, i did eat earlier and as well this morning. am just fine... its only a little low. alrigt... loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
11:45:23 PM
feeling much better now that i have gotten to talk with Itancanka throughout the day... and as well have been writing a bit... yet feel this cold is trying to set back into my chest... cough just doesn't want to go away... lol, earning Daddy's milk will knock it loose though... writing Daddy's view of me... into my stories, and how He makes me feel. how i can close my eyes and see Him correcting me in such ways... to maybe try to get to see what He sees... proof reading, i realize i am naw longer just writing stories... i am writing mine and Itancanka's life before we even begin exploring it. sister is right... awww once again longing to see what He sees... yet not only with my beauty... i want to see so much more... how Him and i are going to relate even outside the kink. what all Daddy can teach me not only of our way of life. feeling Him becoming my world... loving Him... as i say to my daughter and grandson all the time... more than life itself... i am loving Him.... love You Itancanka!
Monday March 2, 2015
7:05:15 AM
awwwww, what a dream... wanting a morning shower, craving Daddy's touch... wanting to be in His arms.. and lustfully earn my milk... am almost finished working on the story..shit even dream of it more now.... going to take that shower now... loving You Itancanka!
Monday March 2, 2015
9:35 PM
sketched a bit today, haven't in awhile... wasted a lot of paper... would like to get back into my drawling. if hands allows me. thoughts has been racing... been catching a glimps here and there on different channels that messes with my mind... so many memories flooding back... i not wish. so much sadness in the world... talking with Itancanka even now... this very moment, trying to not stray.mmmm.
Tuesday March 3, 2015
8:00 PM
Didn't get to write this morning... kept Itancanka up all night worried... Nicole even came over to lerk over me today... naw, she was worried as well. a nasty slip, bout had me wondering off last night. neighbors even got a sneak peak of my past. which try not to allow too many to know of. but Itancanka handle very well. nicole was pleased that He handled as good as He did... she isn't so judge mental if i am rushing it now. am glad, that she is alright with me allowing my heart to guide me. am sure i will do a bit of a better job than her...for i not wish to repeat my past. i know what a real Man within a Master ...a Master within a Man is... seen such in my Father and now seeing it in Itancanka Steve... i know the difference between an abuse Man and an honorable Man... awww... loving You Itancanka
Wedsday March 4, 2015
6:00:36 AM
awww, much better morning to wake up to... awww. dreaming of Itancanka, watching Him sleep... laying in His arms, being a bit greedy. not wishing to wake Him. just wanted to watch and listen... study Him even in my dreams...awww knowing that i will do in person very often... hoping it doesn't cause me to miss out on earning my morning milk. yet just to watch and listen would be a gift in itself.. awww... lordy i must get up and start my day... if only i was in His arms i would so linger a bit... and damn so would i earn my milk... Daddy might just find His self having to tell me no more one morning... omg i would so beg... loving You Itancanka!
1:45:15 PM
taking a break from what little chores i have left... going to write a bit. working on a story that Daddy may like... could very easy add to the shower one... maybe... Damn that is if i would stop getting all hot and bothered... sis has called me like 3 times since this morning... drunk mad at the world, but herself... both of her daughters call me crying wanting to know how to deal with her... all i can say, is simply keep being there for her... not give up... hope she will see that not only is she hurting herself but rest of us as well when she drinks... it causes her to not know who she is. Nicole says, momma its naw fair they all come crying to you. but when your mind was just as broke as hers they put you down for years saying you was weak and needed locked up. yet with her they all want your caring nurturing advice. like they want you to lift them up.... i tell Nicole its not our place to be bitter... our hearts will turn cold... i wont stand for that. many reasons i could have turned very bitter towards my family. its not in my nature. wont start now... its funny even with my x... i have no love for him... no respect... but yet i hope one day his mind becomes well. surely sometime in his life he had to have been a good person... right? maybe after he has paid for all his wrong doings the Great Spirit will see fit to allow him to find peace as well. maybe even in the pits of hell.... just a thought... besides, i am madly in love so why not some how find it in me to one day be a bit forgiving...Nicole says Not! Don't You Dare!!!... loving You Itancanka!
11:00 PM
awww.... wrote a bit more, coming along really good. just in my words i can see Him. as if He was here with me. every single detail i could vision happening right in front of me.... every word He spoke. awww, is it just my words in a story... Or am i really writing Him... did i just write Him actually caressing my skin... awwww. damn is He in my head... i know He is in my heart... i have even felt Him walk throughout my soul... can this be... momma, did Father loving master you in such aways.. all this time i talk of a Man within a Master...a Master within a Man... awwww. your right momma its definately the Man...
Thursday March 5, 2015
7:34 AM
awwww.... another night falling to sleep dreaming, just to wake up longing for His touch. wanting so much to hear His voice... every day i am falling more madly in love with Him... He takes my breath away....shit Tater Tot, damn you didn't have too be so darn cute just then... lol, naw fair.. well going to have my coffee and start my chores... loving You Daddy
12:55 PM
about to leave for my appointment, not really wanting to go. yet said i would... knowing my aunt, she'll tell me all about my sins.... ok i am going... loving You Itancanka!
9:10 PM
back at writing a bit... waiting for Itancanka, haven't heard from Him in awhile now... bet its His phone. awwww. yet really liking how the story is coming along... shit right hand twitching... hoping its just His phone. hope His parents are alright... awww..am worried. awww, He'll call soon. awww there He is... thank You Great Spirit!
Friday March 6, 2015
8:00 AM
worried...of Itancanka's Father...hope He is doing well. and hope that Daddy and His momma has managed to get some rest.... story has fit together beautifully...again its like i have written our life before it even happens... already starting another story, but its more something that will have to be hands on to see how it turns out... which i look forward too.. loving You Itancanka....
2:35 PM
Nicole called earlier wanting to know if i will take Kenai tomorrow... Which of course i will. He will keep my mind off of missing You so much... well maybe. doubt much, cause Your always on my mind... every second of every day... awww, i wonder all the time what He is doing... is He sleeping, or taking a bath... at His parents... walking His dog... lol looking at my pic or watching His videos of me... as i can't help but to keep His pic up to see everytime i come in the room... oh, from time to time Nicole has me to look up words to challenge how i relate to them... i guess. on the other hand its helped over the years when it comes to my writings... her pushing me to learn more... but a lot of times she picks words to make me think of myself... my past, my submissive nature... and how to improve... i am to look up the meaning and then write a little thought of my own of each word she gives... even Brother Frank will give me words at times... more so when i am questioning myself. that or an essay... Father use to say must keep a female learning but yet be wise what she learns... for the world is dark place... easy to tarnish what You have work so hard to train to be so pure... yet i think at times He just feard that He would lose control... mother always said, if there is true love between Master and His slave... then naw matter in His chambers or out in the real world she will not stray.... loving You Itancanka!
1:45 AM
finally am done with the story... and have sent it to Itancanka... talked with Brother Frank, he got a bit on my nerves... times i so want a little nose candy. or a few pp's would do wonders right now.. minds slipping a bit. yet Itancanka pulls me back...even when i don't get to hear His voice...or read His words... i can just think of Him... and He is there, walking throughout my heart and soul...wanting so much to start our lives together... yet knowing we will have a long life to enjoy... so the wait will be worth it....awwww Loving You Daddy!
Saturday March 7, 2015
6:00 Am
awww... this is driving me crazy....even though wonderful dream, of waking up in His arms...craving to earn my morning milk... exploring our life, growing old together... so much we are going to enjoy. improve each others life... grow as one... awww... i love You more than life itself Itancanka!
3:45 Pm
Kenai, has been great so far... He has helped me a lot today... He is a very smart little boy... i want to watch Him grow to become a strong young Man... He needs guidance... that is what i worry of... Is He getting the right guidance that He deserves.... watching Him right now, i think back to how Father taught His Sons... how to have honor about them selves... while still being boys... allowing them to be rough and tough... yet teaching them to respect their dominance...and above all else honor their mother... their parents... awww. i know Kenai will be a good Son to His momma... need to not worry so much... awww... i am missing You...yet loving You at the same time.. chat soon...
8:45 PM
awww... He is finally asleep, and i am waiting to get to chat a bit...waiting patiently... which isn't easy for me to do... so i am going to work a bit on the words that Nicole gave me...and continue waiting...missing You... love You my Itancanka!
Sunday March 8, 2015
8:00 AM
Kenai woke me up from such a wonderful dream... we was taking a walk... Daddy had me wearing a vib... kept turning it on and off... up and down... never knowing just when... not sure but think we stopped and was talking to Your parents... Daddy was being so naughty with His kitty... causing me to purr in front of them... i blushed, just a smiling...i love You Itancanka... love Kenai too even though He could have allowed me to sleep a bit longer...awwww
2:27 PM
Nicole and Chris has decided to come over for the night... yet all i can think of is missing You.. awww i miss You...and want You so much...but for now i am going to hang out with Kenai and listen to Him read a bit... chat soon... loving You Itancanka!
12:45 PM
OMG.... i missing You so much, awww another week to wait on seeing You... worried that it will cause You problems with work. but yet want to see You so bad.. want to be in Your arms... i love You... grrrrrr... alright i am going to go into the other room let them have the livingroom and just chat with You till my eyes get heavy so i can dream...loving You Itancanka!
Monday March 9, 2015
8:00 Am
awww... wonderful dream , yet waking up missing You... and and have an appointment to get ready for...so best get to it...love You Itancanka!
2:00 PM
darn it... i got the time mixed up on the appointment... had to reschedule. which i do this a lot...Nicole pissed me off. she said well at least Steve will get you under control keep you from forgetting such important things like when it comes to my health and eating right... she say already getting momma to say she hopa/pretty... said Uncle Frank told her all about it, plus what she has read in the story... lol. loving You Itancanka!
Thursday, February 24, 2015
4:42:09 AM
awww.... O'my God, do i love Him so... Yet feel so guilty, for keeping Him up so late... Lordy, i just love to hear His voice though... negidi inaha tsia anagi Itancanka... loving Him, missing Him... already... and we was just talking... But am going to rest my mind a bit.... some thoughts i not wish to have is lerking about. noticed right hand twitching... maybe a little toke will do...
Thursday, February 24, 2015
1:25:17 PM
skills has been a bit off today... am fine, think its just more this cold that lingers and the stress over nicole... yet its not been that bad... looking forward to talking with Itancanka, seems like just reading His words i feel better. my thoughts always is much more clearer... and i feel myself slipping less these days... a couple more things to do, then chores done. after i will take a shower... shit, sister calling... damn it thoughts on hold.
4:10 PM
became distracted talking with my sister earlier, then slipped into a hot shower... and now going to writing a bit, till i see Your words... i am loving....
Thursday, February 24, 2015
11:23:07 PM
You, asking me to tell You how sexy i am... not know if i am ever truly going to get use to that... but will keep trying. i just don't see it... but i love You anyway, Daddy. You don't know how much.... thinking back to You walking trying to find the goat... listening to Your voice that night... questioning what my heart was feeling. wondering how i could desire You so much and not know much of You. and yet even have felt Your first touch... not even met in person yet.... think that is when we agreed to first meet... before i first asked You to kolar me... i think listening to You that night. How we related and feeling my slave heat just opened up to You...damn Baby, Daddy... You had me, right then and there... i am loving You... my Itancanka!
Thursday, February 25, 2015
7:28 AM
waking up dreaming.... so real, that i could almost touch You. awww, i want to be with You so much...caressing my neck, down to my chest across my heart...reaching my heat, such a Kolar i already feel...awww. i love my Itancanka! Causing my juices to flow.. Keeping You in my thoughts, i know i must get up and start my day... Yet i am wanting to be a little greedy and lay here a bit longer lusting, craving Your touch... Your milk... awww, what fucken torture... To taunt such a wet puss, yess. Daddy's pussy is wet... awww, O'my God .... Itancanka, i am loving You....awww. Fuck yea... Tasting my juices, thank You Daddy... i love You. Now, i must start my day...awww
Thursday, February 25, 2015
9:45:10 PM
Today has seemed a bit long and yet the night isn't over... my thoughts are racing like they always do... Brother Frank has chatted with me a few times... Still online, but think He is busy with some girl He found to play with... At a Club He went to. Wish He would just find a true submissive... i know He has it in Him to make a great Master... If He wouldn't allow the power trip to get to His head... His father wasn't nothing like mine. Tells me all the time. That His Father, treated Him and my birth mother like trash... have no idea why she left my Father for that... Guess wanting to see the world and to party wasn't all that it was cracked up to be... But on the other hand its like her and i has little more in common than just blood... Difference is i faught like hell to get me and my daughter out of our own hell... my tarnished collar. she wallowed in hers... Allowing not only herself to be broken... But as well, her Son to all most become barbaricly cruel... Due to the abuse that He endured... i don't hate her for walking out. Feel sorry for her, that she wasn't happy with her inner self.... So much that she ended up settling never finding what she was looking for... That is sad.... i may not see my beauty, but i am comfortable with the slave within... well i am at least true to her.. much improvement is needed to be comfortable with her... and that is left up to my Itancanka to correct... loving You Daddy...
Thursday, February 26, 2015
8:07:17 AM
woke up this morning once again, calling out for You. my dreams have been so real. To the point that i can feel Your touch, hear Your voice. Such an acheing desire comes over me that i want You so much. You have made me feel more alive than i have felt in years. and we have yet even physically touched...my Itancanka... i loving You... falling madly in love with You!
i been up for awhile already... done a bit of tidying... yet still have a little to do... going to work on a story awhile as well... and take a shower, feeling guilty for who ever has moved in down stairs... You in my thoughts, and my desires becomes so loud... lustfully loud...awwww... i loving my Itancanka... O'my God, mother if you can... hopa hopaplease...tell Father, i kneel finally in my rightful place... momma!
Thursday, February 26, 2015
11:30:24 PM
O'my God. what can i say....besides that my heart is rejoicing... He has awaken my heat.. Not talking of just lustful heat... But more so, the heat of a the inaha deep within. That craves to serve out of love and devotion to her true Itancanka... Not a moment goes by that He isn't in my thoughts.... Keeping me longing for His touch, His guidance... awww His love. Just wanting to be with Him..... Never thought, that i would have fallen so fast and hard. But yet, i feel as if i am flying....love You my Itancanka!
Friday February 27, 2015
6:01:09 AM
Another day waking up such a desire over comes me....Couldn't help but to caress my heat... Feeling Your puss wet with lustfull loving desires... Craving for Your touch...wanting so much to be with You. Start our life together... The thought of laying in Your furs... waking You, with Your morning coffee... Or just maybe awww. naw, i know we will many times over and over again. Will earn my morning milk while washing You in a early morning shower or just simply serveing You... Your coffee. awww What life we are going to live... no matter the kink, ours is already strong. It feels as if we have known each other for years... yet just getting to know each other. Not sure if that sounds crazy or not. But, yet that is how i feel.... You are apart of me now... i feel that i can't live without You already. awww..... i am loving You my Itancanka!
Friday February 27, 2015
11:26:12 PM
i know that we have been chatting, throughout the day... and yes we will be together soon. But it seems like this weather wants to keep us apart. i read Your words, we share our feelings and thoughts.... You keep saying how beautiful i am. wishing i could see what You see. awww. lol...at least You have yet said You will refuse me Your touch... shhhh, sabrina...you'll put your own foot in your mouth...awwwwww.. yess, He wants to call.... thoughts on hold...
fuck... what did i tell you, always putting your foot in your mouth... Daddy, caught on how to correct that didn't He... O'my God, i love Him... can tell He, has even a heart of a true Master... which isn't easy to find in many Masters... They lose touch with the Man within... The Human side of Them selves... Damn can see myself slipping on this... fear i might be begging Daddy's touch a lot.. Or maybe i can wing it... till i truly believe what He sees in me... shhhhhh, darn it sabrina hush... Now i think that one is realizing the true meaning behind Father spelling my name the way He did on birth record... sub'rina... go ahead, continue to put your foot in your mouth... lol,.... Father always said a true submissive will always show that there is always room for correction and guidance... That is why dominance and discipline with always a loving mastering caring hand is so important for the growth of a submissive so a Master can create a true inaha...
damn it Frank, no fair... sign out Brother... that was personal...lol
mmmmmmm, yet am loving You anyway my Itancanka! my God am i loving You... can't believe Brother heard all that... been listening to me for hours... damn.. really i need to start checking my yahoo...shit that not help...invisible shit! no fair, damn it!
Saturday February 28, 2015
2:45 AM
my thoughts are racing, working on this story... so many ideas, possiblilities. Not sure which one, that i really wish to run with... Keep re-wording, seeing what one turns me on the most. Close my eyes, and i can picture our lives years later... Still just full of life... And so much love for one another... That i can't ever see us growing tired... Do believe we may just have what my Father and mother had for one another... i may not see my beauty as You... but i do see what we have together my Itancanka... promise i will continue to try to see myself as Your sexy little slut... not saying that i wont slip. Which, "Daddy., i will beg for Your touch... any discipline to correct so i do see, what You see in me". my Itancanka! awww...... loving You Master!
Saturday
February 28, 2015
12:35:04 Pm
Taking a bit of a break from my chores... thoughts a racing, trying to calm them down... right hand twitching. Everything is ok... Just worried a bit of nicole... Isn't easy as a mother to not be able to protect and always provide...even after she is grown and out on her own...i know i have to let go... But its hard, more so that my grandson is a concern as well.... awww shit, my sugar is high damn 258.... Need to bring it back down... i've been less active today.. Ok, enough of this... i refuse to allow myself to wallow get up sabrina move on.... Even with my worries, i feel Him with me.... ease me knowing that my even when my thoughts are woundering i can already feel Itancanka pulling me back to Him... noticing that my right hand has stopped twitching.... mmmm After my thoughts drifted towards Itancanka... maybe, Brother is right....
Saturday February 28, 2015
10:15:35 Pm
awwww..... You not know just how breath taking it is. Just to see Your words... And to know that i upset You even just a bit is un bareable... Yes video was my discipline.... But yet the thought of You watching me...awww. Then on the other hand i look at what i see of myself.. And i question how can You enjoy... Yes i know my words may cause me discipline. But journals are to be honest... And i will not lie to You... my Itancanka, awww... i may not always want to admit something even to myself at times... But i will not lie... i know that i still have a passionat kinky drive to myself... that has never been the problem.... my submissive nature has never left this human shell... i know she is deep within me. i feel her every day of my life... Or i would not have seek for such a Man...
Yet, this one is not blind, she sees what the mirrew shows... awww. Damn i feel my bottom getting warm.... awww, Daddy... hopa hopaplease awww Okay, darn... i am beautiful in Your eyes.... and i will work on being beautiful in mine... alright?....loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
5:oo:02 AM
awww, naw naw... am ok was only a dream within a dream. calm myself down, good Daddy's pic is still up... alright am ok.. calm down sabrina, he naw longer tarnishes your neck... your heart and soul is owned and kolared now... its different now, you kneel in your rightful place... to an honorable Itancanka... you feel Him, this very moment, pulling you back from the darkness of your past.... its ok now, am calm now awwwww... loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
12:oo PM
This morning, woke dreaming within a dream... didn't really like it much, yet Daddy was there to pull me back... thank You Itancanka... i felt You.. thank You! worry at times if my bad days are going to out weigh my good. Brother Frank and as well as my Father would say that isn't for a slave to worry of. That is for the Master that has chosen to collar the slave. For He decided to take her and her many flaws so He can correct and improve what He can... And adjust to what He can't so she can best serve His needs and wants... desire and pleasure will and is found. wishing that my past was happy at being just that... if some how it wouldn't find its way to haunt my memories. maybe i could start seeing what Daddy sees.. again Brother Frank has said... sis He already showing that He is able to break through them memories... just never shut Him out even no matter how dark they get... His guidance, discipline wont always be easy... it can't be to break such a past... be true to yourself sis... remember what your Father taught.. allow the inaha within come to the surfus so you can heal and kneel serving Him well and you will see your true beauty again...
awww. Frank, i forget You was there... will put thoughts on hold and finish up on last bit of chores... awww. sugar is ok... You wouldn't.... shit, alright i'll test it... damn it 62. i know. will have a bite to eat... yes i did...typed while mouthing off at You Brother... ok... grrrrr. alrigh, to explain... my Itancanka... Brother just seen me stumle while my cam was up running. told me to check my sugar... i was a bit mouthy... giving Him lip. sugar low... i will eat. am ok.... awww Frank, i did eat earlier and as well this morning. am just fine... its only a little low. alrigt... loving You Itancanka!
Sunday March 1, 2015
11:45:23 PM
feeling much better now that i have gotten to talk with Itancanka throughout the day... and as well have been writing a bit... yet feel this cold is trying to set back into my chest... cough just doesn't want to go away... lol, earning Daddy's milk will knock it loose though... writing Daddy's view of me... into my stories, and how He makes me feel. how i can close my eyes and see Him correcting me in such ways... to maybe try to get to see what He sees... proof reading, i realize i am naw longer just writing stories... i am writing mine and Itancanka's life before we even begin exploring it. sister is right... awww once again longing to see what He sees... yet not only with my beauty... i want to see so much more... how Him and i are going to relate even outside the kink. what all Daddy can teach me not only of our way of life. feeling Him becoming my world... loving Him... as i say to my daughter and grandson all the time... more than life itself... i am loving Him.... love You Itancanka!
Monday March 2, 2015
7:05:15 AM
awwwww, what a dream... wanting a morning shower, craving Daddy's touch... wanting to be in His arms.. and lustfully earn my milk... am almost finished working on the story..shit even dream of it more now.... going to take that shower now... loving You Itancanka!
Monday March 2, 2015
9:35 PM
sketched a bit today, haven't in awhile... wasted a lot of paper... would like to get back into my drawling. if hands allows me. thoughts has been racing... been catching a glimps here and there on different channels that messes with my mind... so many memories flooding back... i not wish. so much sadness in the world... talking with Itancanka even now... this very moment, trying to not stray.mmmm.
Tuesday March 3, 2015
8:00 PM
Didn't get to write this morning... kept Itancanka up all night worried... Nicole even came over to lerk over me today... naw, she was worried as well. a nasty slip, bout had me wondering off last night. neighbors even got a sneak peak of my past. which try not to allow too many to know of. but Itancanka handle very well. nicole was pleased that He handled as good as He did... she isn't so judge mental if i am rushing it now. am glad, that she is alright with me allowing my heart to guide me. am sure i will do a bit of a better job than her...for i not wish to repeat my past. i know what a real Man within a Master ...a Master within a Man is... seen such in my Father and now seeing it in Itancanka Steve... i know the difference between an abuse Man and an honorable Man... awww... loving You Itancanka
Wedsday March 4, 2015
6:00:36 AM
awww, much better morning to wake up to... awww. dreaming of Itancanka, watching Him sleep... laying in His arms, being a bit greedy. not wishing to wake Him. just wanted to watch and listen... study Him even in my dreams...awww knowing that i will do in person very often... hoping it doesn't cause me to miss out on earning my morning milk. yet just to watch and listen would be a gift in itself.. awww... lordy i must get up and start my day... if only i was in His arms i would so linger a bit... and damn so would i earn my milk... Daddy might just find His self having to tell me no more one morning... omg i would so beg... loving You Itancanka!
1:45:15 PM
taking a break from what little chores i have left... going to write a bit. working on a story that Daddy may like... could very easy add to the shower one... maybe... Damn that is if i would stop getting all hot and bothered... sis has called me like 3 times since this morning... drunk mad at the world, but herself... both of her daughters call me crying wanting to know how to deal with her... all i can say, is simply keep being there for her... not give up... hope she will see that not only is she hurting herself but rest of us as well when she drinks... it causes her to not know who she is. Nicole says, momma its naw fair they all come crying to you. but when your mind was just as broke as hers they put you down for years saying you was weak and needed locked up. yet with her they all want your caring nurturing advice. like they want you to lift them up.... i tell Nicole its not our place to be bitter... our hearts will turn cold... i wont stand for that. many reasons i could have turned very bitter towards my family. its not in my nature. wont start now... its funny even with my x... i have no love for him... no respect... but yet i hope one day his mind becomes well. surely sometime in his life he had to have been a good person... right? maybe after he has paid for all his wrong doings the Great Spirit will see fit to allow him to find peace as well. maybe even in the pits of hell.... just a thought... besides, i am madly in love so why not some how find it in me to one day be a bit forgiving...Nicole says Not! Don't You Dare!!!... loving You Itancanka!
11:00 PM
awww.... wrote a bit more, coming along really good. just in my words i can see Him. as if He was here with me. every single detail i could vision happening right in front of me.... every word He spoke. awww, is it just my words in a story... Or am i really writing Him... did i just write Him actually caressing my skin... awwww. damn is He in my head... i know He is in my heart... i have even felt Him walk throughout my soul... can this be... momma, did Father loving master you in such aways.. all this time i talk of a Man within a Master...a Master within a Man... awwww. your right momma its definately the Man...
Thursday March 5, 2015
7:34 AM
awwww.... another night falling to sleep dreaming, just to wake up longing for His touch. wanting so much to hear His voice... every day i am falling more madly in love with Him... He takes my breath away....shit Tater Tot, damn you didn't have too be so darn cute just then... lol, naw fair.. well going to have my coffee and start my chores... loving You Daddy
12:55 PM
about to leave for my appointment, not really wanting to go. yet said i would... knowing my aunt, she'll tell me all about my sins.... ok i am going... loving You Itancanka!
9:10 PM
back at writing a bit... waiting for Itancanka, haven't heard from Him in awhile now... bet its His phone. awwww. yet really liking how the story is coming along... shit right hand twitching... hoping its just His phone. hope His parents are alright... awww..am worried. awww, He'll call soon. awww there He is... thank You Great Spirit!
Friday March 6, 2015
8:00 AM
worried...of Itancanka's Father...hope He is doing well. and hope that Daddy and His momma has managed to get some rest.... story has fit together beautifully...again its like i have written our life before it even happens... already starting another story, but its more something that will have to be hands on to see how it turns out... which i look forward too.. loving You Itancanka....
2:35 PM
Nicole called earlier wanting to know if i will take Kenai tomorrow... Which of course i will. He will keep my mind off of missing You so much... well maybe. doubt much, cause Your always on my mind... every second of every day... awww, i wonder all the time what He is doing... is He sleeping, or taking a bath... at His parents... walking His dog... lol looking at my pic or watching His videos of me... as i can't help but to keep His pic up to see everytime i come in the room... oh, from time to time Nicole has me to look up words to challenge how i relate to them... i guess. on the other hand its helped over the years when it comes to my writings... her pushing me to learn more... but a lot of times she picks words to make me think of myself... my past, my submissive nature... and how to improve... i am to look up the meaning and then write a little thought of my own of each word she gives... even Brother Frank will give me words at times... more so when i am questioning myself. that or an essay... Father use to say must keep a female learning but yet be wise what she learns... for the world is dark place... easy to tarnish what You have work so hard to train to be so pure... yet i think at times He just feard that He would lose control... mother always said, if there is true love between Master and His slave... then naw matter in His chambers or out in the real world she will not stray.... loving You Itancanka!
1:45 AM
finally am done with the story... and have sent it to Itancanka... talked with Brother Frank, he got a bit on my nerves... times i so want a little nose candy. or a few pp's would do wonders right now.. minds slipping a bit. yet Itancanka pulls me back...even when i don't get to hear His voice...or read His words... i can just think of Him... and He is there, walking throughout my heart and soul...wanting so much to start our lives together... yet knowing we will have a long life to enjoy... so the wait will be worth it....awwww Loving You Daddy!
Saturday March 7, 2015
6:00 Am
awww... this is driving me crazy....even though wonderful dream, of waking up in His arms...craving to earn my morning milk... exploring our life, growing old together... so much we are going to enjoy. improve each others life... grow as one... awww... i love You more than life itself Itancanka!
3:45 Pm
Kenai, has been great so far... He has helped me a lot today... He is a very smart little boy... i want to watch Him grow to become a strong young Man... He needs guidance... that is what i worry of... Is He getting the right guidance that He deserves.... watching Him right now, i think back to how Father taught His Sons... how to have honor about them selves... while still being boys... allowing them to be rough and tough... yet teaching them to respect their dominance...and above all else honor their mother... their parents... awww. i know Kenai will be a good Son to His momma... need to not worry so much... awww... i am missing You...yet loving You at the same time.. chat soon...
8:45 PM
awww... He is finally asleep, and i am waiting to get to chat a bit...waiting patiently... which isn't easy for me to do... so i am going to work a bit on the words that Nicole gave me...and continue waiting...missing You... love You my Itancanka!
Sunday March 8, 2015
8:00 AM
Kenai woke me up from such a wonderful dream... we was taking a walk... Daddy had me wearing a vib... kept turning it on and off... up and down... never knowing just when... not sure but think we stopped and was talking to Your parents... Daddy was being so naughty with His kitty... causing me to purr in front of them... i blushed, just a smiling...i love You Itancanka... love Kenai too even though He could have allowed me to sleep a bit longer...awwww
2:27 PM
Nicole and Chris has decided to come over for the night... yet all i can think of is missing You.. awww i miss You...and want You so much...but for now i am going to hang out with Kenai and listen to Him read a bit... chat soon... loving You Itancanka!
12:45 PM
OMG.... i missing You so much, awww another week to wait on seeing You... worried that it will cause You problems with work. but yet want to see You so bad.. want to be in Your arms... i love You... grrrrrr... alright i am going to go into the other room let them have the livingroom and just chat with You till my eyes get heavy so i can dream...loving You Itancanka!
Monday March 9, 2015
8:00 Am
awww... wonderful dream , yet waking up missing You... and and have an appointment to get ready for...so best get to it...love You Itancanka!
2:00 PM
darn it... i got the time mixed up on the appointment... had to reschedule. which i do this a lot...Nicole pissed me off. she said well at least Steve will get you under control keep you from forgetting such important things like when it comes to my health and eating right... she say already getting momma to say she hopa/pretty... said Uncle Frank told her all about it, plus what she has read in the story... lol. loving You Itancanka!
Published 22nd Mar 2015
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