The King's Image : A Metaphysician's Code of Conduct  (FILLER/LONG)

***NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY***


Walking / Public Appearance

Walk in public as though walking naked (picture yourself as one of those first hairy upright beasts on the breezy African plains...).

When lounging on a bench or couch, emulate the crucifixion pose, half smile / half suffer, head down to the side.

Sit as though sitting naked (sit strong like warrior, like big indian chief, head high, no slouching, firm mouth, no eye contact).

Stand or sit seductively in weird places, especially against walls (this is the only time to make eye contact with those around and/or check out chicks).

Push each door open with left hand at shoulder level (be strong and firm, nazi like).

Pause at each set of stairs, scope around like a predator in the woods, stand straight, remember that an uphill climb in the Reality of Matter doesn't exist.

When leaving a building to the outside, pause just outside the doorway, look up and give praise to the open skies.

Remember, as a movie person, every scene is a movie scene.

When acting sullen, picture the Jesus look we always see in the paintings.

If a dog or other animal is noticing something, pause and pretend that you know what is happening too.

Sniff and listen up like an animal every once in a while when waiting for something in public.

Only operate machines or electronic gadgets in a very goofy way to either cause shit, scare the shit out of strangers, or make those around you laugh.

Wear sunglasses during drug trips in public!

Do not read in public (unless reading poetry seductively against the wall; or reading philosophy upright with the book held high in front at eye level – no slouching, no reading “down” - eye level, strong warrior...).

Never read advertisements, manuals or syllabus-type stuff, unless goofily.

Be a wizard when turning on lights / appliances / machines (as though you were using the power of your mind rather than the switch to turn it on).

Do not ever bend over in an open area for any reason, unless done so for goofy purposes (otherwise, only bend over for practical reasons with a wall or corner behind you, and squat on the haunches!).

If you see some shit that could be caused, do not hesitate, sacrifice your schedule no matter how pressing.



Talking / Interaction with Others

When conversing with one person, maintain eye contact at all times when both speaking and listening.

Do not stand still when talking, especially in a hallway or open area, move about and flutter.

But if it is necessary to stand still while talking, then stand seductively against a wall.

When talking to a group, do not make eye contact with any of those assembled.

Do not talk when walking, especially when holding books (if necessary, then walk slow, scope each room or hallway out for enemies / wild animals – as though you are a predator in the woods, but are threatened by higher predators).

If you have to walk fast while talking to someone, then move around people like moving through them, jump about, twirl, be enraged, walk the ledges, hop over or slip under things, scare random passer-byers with imaginary jabs and loud comments, make fun of or recite poetic verse to pretty chicks (with the long seductive stare as well).

Do not say hello / goodbye or any such formal greeting / tiding (unless done so in a sullen / goofy manner, and say something original and divine).

Never “Have a good day!”  – instead, “Have the best day!”.

Remember the End of Time, our Oneness, remember that time when we aren't so much humans anymore, when you ask questions or talk of concerns with others.

Impress all pretty girls downwind.

No ordinary topics of conversation, unless really goofy.

You're Warrior, Old Crow – never talk of personal fear or the fears of others, never bow to weakness or make comments of concern.

If forced to talk by others, then be sullen and seductive, no rambling, and always make mention that the Warrior wishes the death of battle over the safety of life.

Never be polite... but not rude either (unless really goofy, or to scare the shit out of people).

Imagine Morrison when up high on a stage addressing / making fun of a crowd below.

Stop talking / pause / speak slowly when an animal walks near.

Do not strain / bend closer to someone to hear them speak, especially those with authority, public workers, administration, etc – let them repeat louder or bend closer to you.

Never talk of the past, only of the now, or of future plans / occurrences (if it is required to speak of the past then only for goofy or divine purposes).

Never tell people your name.



Classroom Behaviour

Wait for your classes sitting on the floor near the door in a crosslegged meditative state, about half foot out from wall, sitting up straight and firm, no wavering, no eye contact with anyone (unless if friends are around, which means be goofy and stupid and funny).

Sit in class upright in a meditative way, floating and firm, not against the back of the chair (but if tired, then lounge upon chair seductively).

Do not hold pen, or tap things, play with your binder, unless doing so to be goofy for the sake of the other students' entertainment or fear.

Never talk to hot chicks about schoolwork (unless it is absolutely necessary for the flirtation process).

Never raise your hand for consensus in class.

Wait until the professor is absolutely finished his/her lecture before closing books up and rising to leave!



Bodily Language and Habit

Do not pick nose, yawn, scratch, rub itches or adjust hair / clothes (you wouldn't do these on a stage in front of thousands, so why do them now?).

If necessary to attend to such things mentioned above, then find a private corner / hall / room to do so (but if stuck in public, then do so seductively, especially rubbing).

If excessively tired, lie on a hard floor / ground alone for an hour or so.

Smile internally (picture yourself bounding through the fields / mountainsides of childhood immortality).

No eating in public, unless you eat beastily, or rudely or goofily (and only when absolutely necessary).

Never pause to think or exhibit any denotation of confused bodily / facial expression (unless for goofiness of course).

Brush your teeth after every meal!