Experimenting with Sobriety

How fucked is it I experiment with sobriety,
Deceive others to believe I’m functioning in society,
Feel relieved only when drugs are inside of me,
Weed, molly, benzos, LSD, DMT, ketamine,
Bursting seams mentally sucking at the devils teat,
So I feel more at peace in my dreams than reality,
Its hard to believe others dramatize that part of me,
Traumatized yet still I abuse losing my vitality,
I’m a fool to use to cope with the stress of my adolescence morality,
That’s an excuse from my poor mentality, am I an abnormality-
Because i neglected  the lesson that might stand in place of this confession,
Showing symptoms of depression, but all hopes is not lost,
I can buy happiness I gave it a cost,
my discretion I tossed aside I'm exhausted and losing my mind,
I'm inclined to combine refined lines designed to unwind my kind,
Remind myself I wont find the dragon,
My life will end with a magnum,
a drug induced tantrum,
mental phantoms hold me for ransom,
So I Demand one last dance,
One last chance to forget the pain present in the past,
its been a blast but this is a future that cannot last,