Satan is a Solid Dude

Christians always try to portray Satan as a bad guy,  but to me, he seems like a pretty solid dude, just a bit misunderstood


After countless hours of research on the subject,  I can say with a fair degree of certainty that he seeks to punish those who commit great acts of evil, while this "God" character simply goes around forgiving people for them


Furthermore, if everyone is truly capable of receiving said forgiveness, then surely "heaven" would be populated mostly by murderers, child molesters, and the like whereas "hell" would be filled with minor offenders, most of them unaware that they had done anything wrong, or perhaps didn't feel like spending eternity with the likes of Adolf Hitler and the rest of his Fundamentalist Christian movement


The very concept that all of mankind, supposedly all the incest descendants of Adam and Eve, are somehow born into sin because a talking snake (metaphor for Satan) tricked a bitch into eating an apple (knowledge) and we have to spend our lives begging for forgiveness from some all-seeing entity that doesn't seem to give two shits about his creations I find to be absolutely ridiculous,  and an insult to my intelligence


According to the Bible, and several other texts I have
made the mistake of studying in my search for answers, it seems Satan was banished from Heaven and Earth simply because he wanted to enlighten mankind, and banished to a realm where he would be unable to do so

But, I digress