Judas Iscariot

Judas Iscariot
Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes.
Proverbs 6:25

What’s the reason for the things I’ve been doing? I’m moving away from the foundation because something has been brewing.
I try to be honest, I try to be selfless, I try to keep promises, but yet I’m still helpless                        Cuz’ my feelings are flying away, I can’t feel em’ I’m trying to pray                                                 But the spirit of Love is above and distrust mixed with Lust is a bloodsucking bug biting the skin of my resistance, igniting my inner sinful wishes, and exciting my manhood’s past convictions despite my need to stay committed.

It’s draining me.

I feel the Love I once had for you leaving my body
Like the soul as it breaks free of its physical chains, or a knife being snatched                                       out after being shoved into one’s heart.

When I look into your eyes I see that you’re thinking about how much you adore me…and how bad you want me to know that no other man comes before me…
But I wonder what you see in mine.
Can you tell that I’m thinking of her?                                                                                                     Do you recognize the fact that I don’t hold you at night anymore?

I should be able to answer these questions by myself but I’m confused because you still talk about the wedding that we used to plan together…You still remind me that we are going to have four children one day along with the names of each one of them.
You still do everything you have always done the exact same way.

Sad to say but I believe I met Delilah.

I remember telling you that my Love was deep...
Saying that my Love was so penetrating that it put fear in my heart to even think about someone being able to feel it,
Explaining how my Love was a hole…                                                                                                        Lot of Love and if you fell I didn’t know if you be able to handle my core,                                    
Repeating constantly that my Love was endless…and that if you win it then it would be forever tremendous and never finish.
I know you remember me saying my Love was so deep that Moby Dick couldn’t fathom these waters even if he had Kraken on his side
Stressing to you that my Love was opaquely unfathomable.
I used to always ask myself who would understand the depths of this profound ocean…wondering who was worthy of my Love…and now I see that infidelity conquered me.

It hurts me to hurt you, but yet I can’t stop.                                                                                                                          Because a heart growing cold slows it’s beat but won’t drop.
If you told me you cheated I swear I wouldn’t judge you.                                                                       Because I don’t feel the same, my heart does not Love you.

Sincerely.