Breakup Week

Exactly seven days ago marked a year since I'd sadly ended a difficult long term relationship. There were many painful poems I'd written during, but never got posted at the time. So this year, I decided to change that.  Throughout the week, a good portion of the cries and frustrations of my heart were freed. I wanted to get them out of my system, to let it go into the voids of cyberspace so that I could let go of the emotion. I watched it fly away and crash into screens, landing on the hearts of others to be captured by some. And I'd like to thank everyone who read and essentially partook in this process with me, especially those who took the time to comment and could relate. I sincerely appreciate it. It was an interesting experience for my own self, but feeling like it was worth it to share, plus feeling less alone in some of the emotions I felt, was an added beautiful bonus.

It was oddly helpful to look back, which sounds weird, right? Because hey, it's been a year, it should be over with. But no. Not the case, turns out the extent of damage can go much further than you may at first suspect, and when caught up in the relief and happiness of doing the right thing, it's pretty easy to think everything will be a not so bad walk in the park. But, this definitely helped me see some of the emotion I hadn't dealt with yet, and allowed me to reflect in ways I hadn't quite been able to before. I think a part of me just wanted the whole thing over with, and with all the stress I was under, it was hard to take a good, deep dive into all of the emotional depths. I haven't particularly enjoyed all of it, but it has, overall, been worth my time. Because I've been able to feel emotions I'd once suppressed or shut off. So now, this is of course great as I can let them go, the correct way.

I'd also like to thank the awesome, amazing people who encouraged me to do this and supported me along the way. Without you guys giving me that extra push, I may not have done this because I had little doubt that it would be useful, plus I didn't want to relive anything. But it so was of use. I now realize I never really lived it all properly, so I'm doing what's always needed to be done. Unlocking those parts that got skipped and buried, finding those obstacles I never knew existed and learning to overcome them. Recovery is an ongoing process, and it doesn't matter how long it takes, just as long as you make it through. And I know that I will. I could do this on my own no question, as I've proven to myself with other deeply painful experiences, but the fact that people have chosen to stick by me while I work through this one is a wonderful gift.

So, if you have something to express, or something lying around you feel the need to share, get it out of your system. Who cares how long it's been, or how strange it is or how right/wrong it sounds. Don't worry about it. Just let it go. You'll thank yourself in the end. No time is too late to embrace the therapeutic aspect of emotional release.