The Past Birthed

 I was sixteen when my mother left,
the worst feeling....I ever felt,
the one who birthed me,
spit me out,
tossed me out the house,
from that day on,
its only been me in my life,

what a long run,
a long journey,
one child left to fight,
without his mommy,
tummy hungry,
it sounds like a honey,
bee, buzzing in the grass,

my mother cut the umbilical cord,
she cut my dreams too,
off with head went that, with my exit too,
two years of street smarts keep my blood warm,
as I wondered through the streets sneaking condoms,
another customer coming, so protection I had,
no longer my mother's job,
I was all I had,

self-employed, CEO of my company,
picked a corner to fall asleep,
a corner for customers to get familiar with me,
woke up one day, my body was killing me,
soreness from yesterday activity,
close to rape the other day if you ask me,
but it's fine because I'm breathing with pockets full of money,
ignoring the pain I felt from it,
leasing my apartment today,
the "come up,"
never thought I'd live to see the day,
working late nights, thinking if her husband appeared tonight,
how could I explain,
I'm just doing my job,
no sex, I can't eat,
no pleasure, I can't reap,
a big pay day on this pay day,

that's the only thing that scares me the most,
until I got a visitor one day,
["Are you here"]....sounds like a familiar voice,
I went to open the door,
There it was, picture this,

A regular customer saying "I'm pregnant,"
visuable proof of it,
saying I'm the father and having papers to prove it,
She collected DNA from our wild night,
when things got out of control and alcohol influenced
thoughts of what's right,
condoms probably never used,
I was too gone to remember,
all I know.....is it's mines,
and she made me pause life,
I had to touch her stomach to realize she's not a ghost
and inside is life,
Damn,

I'm only eighteen at this point,
Me and the client share a blunt,
and we fade away,
the blunt takes us ten years later,
to this current day,
I made her my wife,
and took care of the life inside her,
can't tell you my profession,
because I might get fired,
just know that's my past,
and we moved to a higher.......place.
-L.J.S.