deepundergroundpoetry.com
So Greedy, She...
Said she'd,
"do me no harm..."
Only wanted to fold
into my form,
it made me so warm
She wanted what burned in my loins
hungered, wanted the lion's share
Or so I was told, then I lost control
So, she fell into my soul...
ate at the totality of my whole
fed of me incessantly
while generously feeding me...
made the elixir of her
all I'd need but see?
She lied, endlessly she drained
my seed, and I tried...to break
free of the addiction of her...
"golden pussy" yet leaving
only caused fits, hot sweats,
and sickly needy alarms...
Yea, she didn't mean
me "any harm...that's the first
thing I heard
Ha! famous last words...
"do me no harm..."
Only wanted to fold
into my form,
it made me so warm
She wanted what burned in my loins
hungered, wanted the lion's share
Or so I was told, then I lost control
So, she fell into my soul...
ate at the totality of my whole
fed of me incessantly
while generously feeding me...
made the elixir of her
all I'd need but see?
She lied, endlessly she drained
my seed, and I tried...to break
free of the addiction of her...
"golden pussy" yet leaving
only caused fits, hot sweats,
and sickly needy alarms...
Yea, she didn't mean
me "any harm...that's the first
thing I heard
Ha! famous last words...
Published 21st Oct 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 0
comments 28
reads 913
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Oct 2014 4:05am
Sounds like a Succubus, Poetik. But I know what you mean...the male version is No Strings Attached. Good read nevertheless. ..:)
21st Oct 2014 4:30am
Yes ur so right, I wanted to convey that type of
woman entity n at the same time also one who's
loving was so good it both filled n emptied him at the same time... thanks so much for always being there my friend :)
woman entity n at the same time also one who's
loving was so good it both filled n emptied him at the same time... thanks so much for always being there my friend :)
21st Oct 2014 4:16am
21st Oct 2014 4:32am
Yes yes bro! it would be huh? :) thank you for your support always, I'm truly grateful :)
21st Oct 2014 4:31am
Sweet Poet....I think we've all heard these famous words......in the end.....they do more harm than good to us. I feel your words more than I can express here. Luv and hugs sent your way. Xo :)
21st Oct 2014 4:47am
Flower, u lil sweetheart... Thank u, always n forever I
truly appreciate you n your support :)
truly appreciate you n your support :)
Anonymous
21st Oct 2014 9:26am
I think this is a great piece, poetik
really paints a picture with clear depth and power. A succubus indeed!
The rhyme feels a little forced at times which I think tries to detract from the whole, but that is my only critique
either way, a worthy piece
write on :)
really paints a picture with clear depth and power. A succubus indeed!
The rhyme feels a little forced at times which I think tries to detract from the whole, but that is my only critique
either way, a worthy piece
write on :)
21st Oct 2014 11:13am
Well my dear Miki I can promise you
I never try to force anything, but I can
see what you mean, I actually think it was my line breaks
I write on my phone (most of the time)
n it appears far different than when I post here
n many times I find myself reformatting on here
but this time I was so into the game ( MNF)
that when the piece popped in my head I typed n
posted pretty much all in one shot lol...STILL I'm
ever grateful for your thoughts n support always :)
I never try to force anything, but I can
see what you mean, I actually think it was my line breaks
I write on my phone (most of the time)
n it appears far different than when I post here
n many times I find myself reformatting on here
but this time I was so into the game ( MNF)
that when the piece popped in my head I typed n
posted pretty much all in one shot lol...STILL I'm
ever grateful for your thoughts n support always :)
Anonymous
21st Oct 2014 11:43am
I do the same thing, my phone gives me the same issues as does my mind!
I love the piece, as I read it I felt that it was something I should mention just because I respect your talent and you want honesty. It is nowhere near a put off or a bad write in ANY way.
you have enough talent that I can throw a curve ball your way here and there :)
a great write anyway....
and nowhere near the truly forced rhyme I read here too often, I know with you it's a natural spill as it is with myself when I do it
I write from a raw feel almost always :) shine on
I love the piece, as I read it I felt that it was something I should mention just because I respect your talent and you want honesty. It is nowhere near a put off or a bad write in ANY way.
you have enough talent that I can throw a curve ball your way here and there :)
a great write anyway....
and nowhere near the truly forced rhyme I read here too often, I know with you it's a natural spill as it is with myself when I do it
I write from a raw feel almost always :) shine on
21st Oct 2014 12:51pm
Aaawww sweetness... Big hugs n kisses to u! lol
N yea I love ur gifted pen n rawness! :)
N yea I love ur gifted pen n rawness! :)
21st Oct 2014 10:35am
'loins'... gawd there's a good word not used nearly often enough lol
no strings attached heartbreak here Poe, really well written
no strings attached heartbreak here Poe, really well written
21st Oct 2014 12:07pm
You're so right bout that word my dear!
I'm happy you found this to your liking
Mami! Appreciate you so much :)
I'm happy you found this to your liking
Mami! Appreciate you so much :)
21st Oct 2014 11:30am
"golden pussy"? This may surprise you, but that is the first time I ever heard that...
Your writing is always entertaining Poe
Enjoyed
Your writing is always entertaining Poe
Enjoyed
21st Oct 2014 12:55pm
Lol yea I can't say I've used it publically but
back in the day as a teen we (friends of mine)
referred to that term when describing those ones conveted
but not gotten by most guys lol... Anyways, as always I thank
you my friend, I'm honored to have your continued
support of my ink. :)
back in the day as a teen we (friends of mine)
referred to that term when describing those ones conveted
but not gotten by most guys lol... Anyways, as always I thank
you my friend, I'm honored to have your continued
support of my ink. :)
21st Oct 2014 1:20pm
21st Oct 2014 2:44pm
I'm happy you enjoyed my friend n yea I can see how it could tickle the funny bone using that phrase lol
21st Oct 2014 4:15pm
Yea, she didn't mean
me "any harm...that's the first
thing I heard
Ha! famous last words... my fave lines! You're a genius Poe!!
me "any harm...that's the first
thing I heard
Ha! famous last words... my fave lines! You're a genius Poe!!
21st Oct 2014 5:50pm
Aaaaawwww my sweet sweet Angel! You have me beaming! :)
Truly appreciate you lady :)
Truly appreciate you lady :)
21st Oct 2014 7:17pm
Do I hear hurt?
Do I feel pain?
That's a raw and honest piece.
I so can feel it. Liked.
Do I feel pain?
That's a raw and honest piece.
I so can feel it. Liked.
21st Oct 2014 10:50pm
It's a memory, n a fantasy... :)
Thank you my sweetheart for always showing
support n kindness on my ink :)
Thank you my sweetheart for always showing
support n kindness on my ink :)
21st Oct 2014 8:55pm
this is intense. I love it ^_^ great ink my friend. Im trying to write myself but im having some problems finding inspiration to do so.
21st Oct 2014 10:51pm
Thank you my friend, n you need inspiration? Let me if I can help n I will k? Appreciate u much :)
22nd Oct 2014 9:25am
22nd Oct 2014 12:02pm
Just call me the mailman then lol... Seriously
I'm honored to still have your support as always :)
I'm honored to still have your support as always :)
22nd Oct 2014 1:36pm
PM darlin this was sp yummy. Sounds like that woman has/had quite a hold on u darlin. Theres nothin like passion that enthralling.
Loved it!!
Loved it!!
22nd Oct 2014 1:57pm
Can't disagree with a thing you said here
sweetie, so I'm happy you liked lol n thank u
for your support always :)
sweetie, so I'm happy you liked lol n thank u
for your support always :)
23rd Oct 2014 7:21am
never am i disappointed in anything you write :) this intense passionate and absolutely fabulous..enjoyed!!!
23rd Oct 2014 1:36pm
Aaaawwwww how super sweet of you to say
My sweetness! Thank u so much I
Grateful n honored as always :)
My sweetness! Thank u so much I
Grateful n honored as always :)
