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Today is about pain

 
Today is about pain
Not the good kind either
 
Today is about back pain
Excruciating
Debilitating
Agonizing
 
My normal meds aren't working
Topomax normally used for seizures, though it has other applications as well
 
My doctor uses it to control issues caused by scar tissue pushing a nerve root in my spine out of place
 
Normally, this works admirably
But sometimes that's not the case
Then the muscles in the area spasm and cramp uncontrollably
The weather is the culprit or mayhap overdoing it at times (I know you're thinking sex might be; I wish that was a concern of mine, believe me when I say it's not, however rueful I may be)
 
So, Tizanidine and/or Skelaxin, neither being terribly effective today. Both muscle relaxants: I neither know nor care at this point whether they can be used in combination, and if there were alcohol in this house right now, I'd use it too.  
 
There's not and I can't go anywhere to get some. My back is out. And, I don't live in some big city where I could call and have someone deliver some for a price
               With fucking ice
 
I might be in some pain
 
You'll have to forgive my language
And demeanor
Today
 
The animal is showing through
The one who if she could
Would gnaw through her flesh
Extract her goddamn spine
Or whatever horrid disc  
Is causing all this pain
 
No Hydrocodone  
They told me long ago
We'd stop using that
We don't want addiction
To be an affliction
Depression
A
Complication
Of utilizing that medication
For too long
I comprehend
 
Today
I want whatever will end this pain
But if I call in this half-assed town
I'll be given the run-around
And they'll do some official spiel designed to assess whether you're drug-seeking obsessed
 
What do I say, today?  
 
Fuck yes, give me whatever you've got right now 'cause for sure that'll get me banned from aid and how.  
 
I know the rules: on the weekend, no refills unless already pre-authorized.  
And, for brand-new prescriptions, even more stringent conditions.  
 
Please, may as well visit the ER.  
 
Ah, another layer of hell we penetrate here for if behavior is investigated for drug-seeking at my specialist's office, then a hundred-fold more is it examined in the ER.  
 
Thus, which pain is greater?
 
I could
Remain at home
In pain
But home in mine own environs - much to be said for that
 
I could  
Venture to the ER
In pain
Equal thus far  
 
The difference begins here: the wait, oft interminable.  
 
I bleed from nowhere, no broken appendages, no fever or respiratory distress, no heart attack nor stroke, nay, I'm last on the list, for, let's face it: pain alone is unimportant in the grand scheme of things in ER land, as, perhaps, it should be...
 
So...
 
A lengthy wait, in agony
 
I need go no further for I can barely stand my bed
 
To suffer torture devices disguised as chairs I cannot do today
 
 
I've lain in the bath and soaked my back
I remain still in pain
Prithee
Which gods and goddesses need I supplicate for surcease from this hell?
Written by Savaja
Published
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