deepundergroundpoetry.com

Father

Seven in counting. I really assumed six would be enough don't you think?
I.. I expected many things from you
But this.. I never expected this..
So I'm not the youngest of your children anymore right?
This new bouncing baby boy
Elias
He's cute, he's little with fluffy black hair, and deep brown eyes
I bare no ill will towards him, towards my new..brother
It's not his fault
He's an innocent child
He'll never know
Of me, or my sister
Or all of the other children you have
And if he does he'll probably never meet us, right?
Just like the one brother I have that I've never even said "hello" to
All the lies, all of those empty words
You said you didn't like us, you said you only tolerate my sister and I because you're children.
You said you couldn't stand us, but that you loved us
I've begun to notice the pattern
Get bored with your child, then move onto the next one
And fucking forget your previous child.
It wasn't bad enough you leaving for a few years when I was a child
It's great knowing we're not good enough for you
I'm well aware we aren't the problem, you are to blame
For the broken trust
The pain
The fear
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT
For the love of a daughter all you had to do was be honest
Yet that is still too difficult for you
Why do you think my heart is so guarded?
Or that I have such issues trusting when someone says "I love you."
Because you broke me long before any boy, or girl had the chance to
I'm afraid of loving someone, because I always think what you've done to this family, they'll one day do to me
You have a hollowed out heart, yet it's heavy in your chest
You're hopeless
I wish you would just leave, leave my life.
You cause more misery rather than joy
For the love of a daughter, please
Stop
Stop hurting me
I can't take it anymore, I've dealt with what you've continued to do since I was twelve years old
Don't you remember, I'm your baby girl
Or at least I used to be, until you found a better "daughter"
You replaced us.
Just..just leave
Please, I'm tired of feeling this way
Written by jinabell21 (Jina Bella)
Published
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