Window at Night

Sitting in the night, takin in the coolness of it,
 
lookin out the window at all passing by, wishing I was twelve again,
 
Sitting in, reflecting on work, love and life, the bloody toll of it all,
 
Aint it fun when you feel that life is only meant to just die young,
 
The phone rings, a friend, a family member,
 
calling to check in on you,
 
Making certain your alive,
 
making certain you haven’t literally choked anyone
 
Not an I Love You, not at first, but in closing afterwards, an act of kindness
 
Not even a courtesy, did you drink any today
 
but Rather a, “How much” have you drinken today
 
whats it matter I always tell em, it matters little
 
friends and family despising what you become,
 
the world still spins much as it has yesterday, an will again tomorrow, till kingdom comes,
 
 I get up and move across the room, to a darken corner, where I sit and stare,
 
forgetting all the nonchalant, almost dumb care free shallow pessimists, an passer-byers,
 
I watch them go back an forth, so long, you don’t love me and I sure as hell don’t love you,
 
I return to my window at night, reach into the Minnie fridge, pull out another ice cold beer,
 
drink it down without breathing, reach in and grab another,
 
Breath again Eddie, Breath, you forgot to just breath again, you stupid moron…
 
It helps, it calms, at least Thirty damn more years of this,
 
God, these thoughts, when you know that your just gonna die young,
 
wasn’t there an appointment I made,
 
Something, somewhere, oh well, if it were important,
 
or rather, if I cared, I would have remembered it,
 
when I was younger, I cared enough to lie about missing things, said I was sick, I am so, So sorry,
 
a rookie at the grand art of self destructing myself, I would disseminate truth, its more acceptable,
 
but now, now I don’t give a fuck, I don’t even feel it, I am a bit what they call confrontational
 
Yeah I missed it all God damn it, I know,,, I was drinking, listenin to my music,
 
I blacked out, it happened so fast, was, such,, fun,,, you were sorely missed though... what are you gonna do about it,
 
Haha, Hahaha, yeah, aint I just this massive prick
 
and what about true love, I know it exists, if your strong enough, an open enough for it
 
But know this, all who ride that faded pony are faded to fall, personally, I’d rather drive a truck
 
but for what its worth, you want to know true love, I’ll tell ya,
 
My Mom and my Nana Tilly, those were the last of what I call True Love,
 
They were the last of the two women that loved me unconditionally
 
But, but they’re gone, died young, and before their time too,
 
They were so pretty and unique,
 
when they were still alive and around, it seems that all the caged birds were released, and the mountains sang out loud,
 
Now, now I sit in my window, at night, staring out at all the smug passer-byers,
 
with beer in hand,,, radio and a dark corner of the room ready