Craving

My mind is on fire,
I long, I ache to feel the tender touch of the blade.
To feel the slow tearing sting that draws bloody
Maps across my skin that lead no where once again
Claws at my heart.
The craving to see the blood rise from a fresh wound
Lingers in my soul.  
But even with the struggling, the suffering,
I find strength in myself to look the other way.
The illness of craving is healed for another night.
All I had to do was fool myself into
Thinking that I'm fine.