Suicide

Sadden fore twice Iam death,I bleed my thought from a neuse as  
I am diapause  ,count the ways my stalking demise crushed me in and along my
quest ,searching for a god to call too me
,my stupor left me breathless somewhere near the ending ,fore my murdering sense Swallowed the poison ,slowly as my eyes close ,my heart races ,as It skips one ,four beats as a light shines,bright ,I reach ,There I watch over me
Oddly I fend that my scars are wicked ,my blue eyes green,my breathes wasted,be it the death of me was more then a suicide,nevermore shall thou be  
Deviant ,yet thine eyes bled through my madness ,lost somewhere along yonder  
as if twice I say I hello,for not my flesh moves,sir I'm  I the swine pegged to
Kill the night ,still yet motionless ,I've died once ,
three,six times chaffed beneath the value of passion  awhile my suicide headlines reads weak man,yet my obituary spells life,on inside my eulogy poisoning my memory filled reveries the crowds fought not to cry,gingerly I feel my pain ?intensely I felt the shock of trembles coercing my movement ,spazed for I am twice removed ,once sadden,suddenly I'm gasping ,I reach, my eyes see ,god why have I been forsaken for my death was not a pardon .. As so a suicidal dream...