'DIRTY'

...I have tried
honestly,
truly tried
to not be
to not be
so filthy...

darkly
disgustingly
dirty...

but I admit
my mind
my eyes....

they see
they see
the truth...

as I, upon myself
I gaze,
facing the mirror...

after the long
long hours
outside
in dark of night
in rain
under
the front porch...

for all those
hours
only shadows
could see...

but now
in front of
this mirror
in the room,
light illuminates
what I was once
unaware of...

the grime
the mud
the dirty,
soiled mess
I became
after trying
to so hard...

to retrieve
a damned ball

I was
in fact...

a dirty mess!!