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The Oil Stone Workshop - Triolet

poet Anonymous

and another practice triolet. A lot less formal than the last :

I wish my ex would fucking die,
For living's just too good for him
The life we built was just a lie,
I wish my ex would fucking die--
And I breathe out a heavy sigh
And dream of tearing limb from limb.
I wish my ex would fucking die,
for living's just too good for him...

poet Anonymous

LobodeSanPedro
Tyrant of Words
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Information:

French in origin, and likely dating to the thirteenth century, the triolet is a close cousin of the rondeau, another French verse form emphasizing repetition and rhyme. The earliest triolets were devotionals written by Patrick Carey, a seventeenth-century Benedictine monk. British poet Robert Bridges reintroduced the triolet to the English language, where it enjoyed a brief popularity among late-nineteenth-century British poets. Though some employed the triolet as a vehicle for light or humorous themes, Thomas Hardy recognized the possibilities for melancholy and seriousness, if the repetition could be skillfully employed to mark a shift in the meaning of repeated lines.

In “How Great My Grief," Hardy displays both his mastery of the triolet and the potency of the form:

     How great my grief, my joys how few,
     Since first it was my fate to know thee!
     - Have the slow years not brought to view
     How great my grief, my joys how few,
     Not memory shaped old times anew,
        Nor loving-kindness helped to show thee
     How great my grief, my joys how few,
        Since first it was my fate to know thee?

The first line, “How great my grief, my joys how few," is, in its two subsequent appearances, modified by the movement of time in the poem. Initially, the line assumes a declarative position, indicating the subject and tone of the poem, one of grief and love lost. By its third iteration, after several queries to the person being addressed, the line takes on the added weight of the speaker’s astonished grief that the addressee has not, despite the years, recognized the speaker’s profound sense of loss.

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I enjoyed this because as noted the time shift allows the repeated line to take on a new meaning and effect

LobodeSanPedro
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3304

I'll post my source and pic with my entry ...

Shopping for this book I found 1. Some bogus lollipops that were suppose to be weed laced 2. Two lamps for $35 that sell for $200 online and a $300 pine chest for $50 all that a thrift 3. $175 Joe Rocket padded bike jacket for $15

Even if my poem is shit ... the jacket alone was worth the hunt

LobodeSanPedro
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3304

Okay ... I'm not sure if I'm going to get my "proof of life" photo up in time ... both my iphone and ipad made a suicide pact and they're trying to take me with them ... I'll post the pic in the My Poems section of my account ......If those two evil bastards let me.

I'm typing this at the public library.

harliequin
Thought Provoker
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case28 said:I've had a crack at the typical 8 syllable triolet.


the rattle of little bullets will kill the pain

after the bloodbath is over
it's time to take another pill
lock, reload and run for cover
after the bloodbath is over
yield the madness from your lover
with tears to cleanse the blood you spill
after the bloodbath is over
it's time to take another pill


Nice one! I like that you wriggled in a rhyming loophole with over/cover/lover. Also, a bit eerie but interesting image.

harliequin
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Forum Posts: 103

Miss_Sub said:Another practice triolet:

A drink in hand, I pray, and weep
And gather thoughts before I fly
I've miles to go before I sleep,
A drink in hand, I pray, and weep.
I've kissed the demons of the deep
for I am not afraid to die:
A drink in hand, I pray, and weep
And gather thoughts before I fly.


Beautiful! And sad! Lovely.

harliequin
Thought Provoker
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Joined 30th July 2015
Forum Posts: 103

Freedom

and ding and dong the bell has tolled
and tick and tock the clock has struck
the fifth-strike bell my heart extolled
and ding and dong the bell has tolled
from eight I begged and pled, cajoled
for clicks on clocks to come unstuck
and ding and dong the bell has tolled
and tick and tock the clock has struck


((Hate to say it, but I am too lazy to do the more in depth instruction about finding a book, etc. Honestly, the fact that I was inspired enough to write this is leaps and bounds more motivation than I've had in a long time, so I'm proud enough to just have written it. Thanks for the inspiration!))

harliequin
Thought Provoker
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Joined 30th July 2015
Forum Posts: 103

Daily Grind

the day drips like cold molasses
all hope obscured and out of view
fingerprints on scratchéd glasses
the day drips like cold molasses
jostled through mechanic masses
suffocated I still drift through
the day drips like cold molasses
all hope obscured and out of view

LobodeSanPedro
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 16th Apr 2013
Forum Posts: 3304

My proof of life pic is posted with my poem "Wanted" ...

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/211877-wanted/

Astyanax
Ceejay
Fire of Insight
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Joined 23rd Feb 2010
Forum Posts: 748

The Shadow on the Blind

I thought I saw her shadow on the blind;  
I looked again, but there was no-one there -  
it must have been a strange trick of the mind.  
I thought I saw her shadow on the blind.  
She's gone for evermore - yet still I’d swear  
I thought I saw her shadow on the blind;  
I looked again, but there was no-one there.

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