Very deep addiction poem, please leave feedback
I battered with (still sometimes fight) an addiction to crystal meth,
This piece i wrote is very important to me since it is written from the heart. I would just like some sincerely honest opinions on it. Speak your mind and don't hold back, thank you.
-Crystal Roller Coaster-
Reminisce on all the happy times,
now just a distant memory.
Seemed the past was my friend,
While the present turned to enemy.
If I had one wish,
I would ask to return.
To before my time with Crys,
and its devilish yearn.
Don't worry it wont hook me,
they say in the beginning.
Using once will multiply,
as the addiction is winning.
Now your dancing with the devil,
soon that dancing becomes sinning.
Russsian roulette played alone,
a fully loaded chamber spinning.
It might cover pain up for that moment,
stops the rain up in the sky.
Fun at first then a curse,
when you live for the high.
Your only pushing life's pain
and problems aside.
Living fast moments last,
just the blink of an eye.
My first hit planted seeds,
of addiction left to fester.
While distracted by the high,
life became a joke I'm the jester.
Hours feel like moments,
Quickly passing time is lost.
The way I live is far from free,
crystals pain is one such cost.
If i could take it back
I'd do it in an instant.
Rewriting all the chapters in life's
book cause its a misprint.
The hardest fight I've fought,
everyday I try to kick it.
Feel that my life is broke,
stuck without a way to fix it.
Your life will change for worse,
down the road that your headed.
Now enveloped in darkness,
Ice stains your soul if you let it.
Conversations spoken clear to me,
from voices in my head.
Left me damaged now when sober,
I'm paranoid of what gets said.
You can say goodbye to eating,
there's no need for food or sleeping.
A few days into a binge,
you'll find your eyes begin to sink in.
Without sleep your eyes play tricks,
see people moving like the mist.
The shadow people come alive,
after three days binging Crys.
Can't imagine without hearing,
them how real the voices are.
You must live with all your choices,
Every struggle every scar.
Meth changes how you live,
losing track of your true self.
Like I'm lost in my own my life,
confused I feel I'm someone else.
On your mind all the time,
ice is all thats on your wish list.
Fuck the things you used to like,
tweaks your only interest.
With one hit your in love,
with the way it empowers.
For that high you'll search carpets,
hoping for one shard if it takes hours.
Smoke it, rail it, bang it,
pick your poison do it your way.
When geek'd your not alone,
the devils standing in your doorway.
A shepard for lost souls,
he can have mine when I overdose.
Heaven seems so vacant,
souls flood hell until it overflows.
The devils guest book has me listed,
cause the way i live is twisted.
Way back then my life was better,
before the damage that the Crys did.
Life goes to shit with each hit,
in every way you feel inadequate.
Seen way to many last bags,
Endless lies saying that I quit.
On top of the world,
you think your standing tall and true.
While abandoned below,
watch friends scatter from you.
Life's got you really low,
it's much darker then you knew.
And you blame it on the shards,
you once said wont hook you.
Regretting what I've done,
spinning puddles way to often.
All my days spent getting spun,
don't care it helps me to my coffin.
When it tears apart your world,
life feels like a shattered mirror.
You can't pick up all the pieces,
So you smoke to make it clearer.
You can watch without a worry,
as your teeth begin to rot,
Sickened by the helpless feeling,
that this drug is all you've got.
Im left hating who I am,
And the monster I've become.
Mr. Hyde has taken over,
Dr. Jekyll has gone numb.
While drowning in depression,
behind eyes so full of shame.
Can't believe I fell this far,
Knowing only I'm to blame.
With the pipe locked in sight,
Always drawing in my vision
I'm nowstrung out and about,
on this crystal crucifixion.
This piece i wrote is very important to me since it is written from the heart. I would just like some sincerely honest opinions on it. Speak your mind and don't hold back, thank you.
-Crystal Roller Coaster-
Reminisce on all the happy times,
now just a distant memory.
Seemed the past was my friend,
While the present turned to enemy.
If I had one wish,
I would ask to return.
To before my time with Crys,
and its devilish yearn.
Don't worry it wont hook me,
they say in the beginning.
Using once will multiply,
as the addiction is winning.
Now your dancing with the devil,
soon that dancing becomes sinning.
Russsian roulette played alone,
a fully loaded chamber spinning.
It might cover pain up for that moment,
stops the rain up in the sky.
Fun at first then a curse,
when you live for the high.
Your only pushing life's pain
and problems aside.
Living fast moments last,
just the blink of an eye.
My first hit planted seeds,
of addiction left to fester.
While distracted by the high,
life became a joke I'm the jester.
Hours feel like moments,
Quickly passing time is lost.
The way I live is far from free,
crystals pain is one such cost.
If i could take it back
I'd do it in an instant.
Rewriting all the chapters in life's
book cause its a misprint.
The hardest fight I've fought,
everyday I try to kick it.
Feel that my life is broke,
stuck without a way to fix it.
Your life will change for worse,
down the road that your headed.
Now enveloped in darkness,
Ice stains your soul if you let it.
Conversations spoken clear to me,
from voices in my head.
Left me damaged now when sober,
I'm paranoid of what gets said.
You can say goodbye to eating,
there's no need for food or sleeping.
A few days into a binge,
you'll find your eyes begin to sink in.
Without sleep your eyes play tricks,
see people moving like the mist.
The shadow people come alive,
after three days binging Crys.
Can't imagine without hearing,
them how real the voices are.
You must live with all your choices,
Every struggle every scar.
Meth changes how you live,
losing track of your true self.
Like I'm lost in my own my life,
confused I feel I'm someone else.
On your mind all the time,
ice is all thats on your wish list.
Fuck the things you used to like,
tweaks your only interest.
With one hit your in love,
with the way it empowers.
For that high you'll search carpets,
hoping for one shard if it takes hours.
Smoke it, rail it, bang it,
pick your poison do it your way.
When geek'd your not alone,
the devils standing in your doorway.
A shepard for lost souls,
he can have mine when I overdose.
Heaven seems so vacant,
souls flood hell until it overflows.
The devils guest book has me listed,
cause the way i live is twisted.
Way back then my life was better,
before the damage that the Crys did.
Life goes to shit with each hit,
in every way you feel inadequate.
Seen way to many last bags,
Endless lies saying that I quit.
On top of the world,
you think your standing tall and true.
While abandoned below,
watch friends scatter from you.
Life's got you really low,
it's much darker then you knew.
And you blame it on the shards,
you once said wont hook you.
Regretting what I've done,
spinning puddles way to often.
All my days spent getting spun,
don't care it helps me to my coffin.
When it tears apart your world,
life feels like a shattered mirror.
You can't pick up all the pieces,
So you smoke to make it clearer.
You can watch without a worry,
as your teeth begin to rot,
Sickened by the helpless feeling,
that this drug is all you've got.
Im left hating who I am,
And the monster I've become.
Mr. Hyde has taken over,
Dr. Jekyll has gone numb.
While drowning in depression,
behind eyes so full of shame.
Can't believe I fell this far,
Knowing only I'm to blame.
With the pipe locked in sight,
Always drawing in my vision
I'm nowstrung out and about,
on this crystal crucifixion.
Anonymous
I think it is a good write, I can feel a lot went into it.
I think a tune up would help-clean up the tense throughout and keep it clear who's voice is speaking and from where/when
finding a word to use instead of crystal would be good, it's repeated a bit here
the caps and commas are a bit erratic but that's no big deal
grammar errors like-spinning puddles way to often--should be too often --things like that you could ask people to edit for you=or help you edit
I think a tune up would help-clean up the tense throughout and keep it clear who's voice is speaking and from where/when
finding a word to use instead of crystal would be good, it's repeated a bit here
the caps and commas are a bit erratic but that's no big deal
grammar errors like-spinning puddles way to often--should be too often --things like that you could ask people to edit for you=or help you edit
interesting and long. I'm sorry you have this addiction, I'm glad I don't and never will. The last thing I would want is rotting teeth and sleep deprivation. I love my food and my sleep too much to get caught up in drugs doing things to my mind and body that only a woman should be doing. Thank you.
Still_So_Troubled said:Yes this is a piece of mine I penned down after many sleepless nights. I wrote it about 3-4 months ago
I asked because here it is in October 2013 (with a different title) and there is another in May 2013. That would make it at least a year old.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228415
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214107
I asked because here it is in October 2013 (with a different title) and there is another in May 2013. That would make it at least a year old.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=228415
http://www.drugs-forum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214107
Anonymous
There seems to be a wave of plagiarism recently. *sigh* it makes me sad.
disappointed, but I still enjoyed it.. Whoever's work it may be
Anonymous
I am becoming ever so disillusioned !
Given the benefit of the doubt on when and possibly who wrote this,
It still sucks... Far too long, and stops being rhetoric only when it starts being excessively expected.... The "addiction" poem is par for the course around here and has to work hard to break into the realm of interesting. This for me doesnt at all... And "deep" as a self describing adjective is just a bad look in general
It still sucks... Far too long, and stops being rhetoric only when it starts being excessively expected.... The "addiction" poem is par for the course around here and has to work hard to break into the realm of interesting. This for me doesnt at all... And "deep" as a self describing adjective is just a bad look in general
