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in the case of exploding heads

fieryangelsouljia
M6rr6g6n
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 30th Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 263

Alright so I have already developed some great characters, awesome world setting, and a few pretty intense action scenes in the book I have been writing. Now I have a strong female lead character. She has been hiding her magic all her life because if she were discovered with them, she would be killed. Now she has no idea how to control her powers after running away from everything she has ever known and winds up in a huge river city where literally anything can happen. I am currently writing a scene where she is almost raped by two slavers and I want her to panic to the point where she accidentally causes her attacker's head to explode. Yes by that I mean brain juices everywhere. Any suggestions on how I can make this scene very gruesome and leave my reader wanting to take a shower afterwards? Feel free to get creative and deep into detail. Any good ideas can definitely help

Poetryman
Tyrant of Words
United States 29awards
Joined 14th Aug 2011
Forum Posts: 1530

Well, after having seen this scene just last week in the film "Kingsmen" humorously set to "The 1812 Overture", I would suggest going to see how they did it in that movie. It was a great movie, by the way. I highly recommend seeing it!

JJ

fieryangelsouljia
M6rr6g6n
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 30th Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 263

Oh my gods I saw that movie and absolutely loved it. Thanks for the suggestion

Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
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Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 6672

Perhaps describe the exploding heads in agonisingly minute detail: slo-motion pacing where every tiny action is described and conveyed. Plus kill one before the other: just to have the benefit of one in utter terror whilst the other's head explodes.
Where exactly is the 'scene' set? As if it is a river city surely there would be sewers, therefore while the sewer and surrounding is putrid and foul, the brain exploding takes it up a notch.
Maybe have the heroine vomit afterwards. Plus some focus on not only how the brain-bomb is not only physically replusive but almost eminates a sense of wrong: literally soul sickness, as it is against reality and probability.
If this is useful then please say so, but I'll zip it for now.

fieryangelsouljia
M6rr6g6n
Fire of Insight
United States 2awards
Joined 30th Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 263

I love the idea Lord Viddax. There is definitely a sewer system since it has a more steam punk social structure and the scene will take place in a back alley. The part about the heroine being sick afterwards sounds like a great idea to make it sound more realistic. I want her to have nightmares for days. I love this

Gearigon
Cognitive Ignition
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 22nd Feb 2015
Forum Posts: 43

I cant tell you what to do, but if i were doing it.  I would put myself(I.E. the reader) into the exploding heads in question.  Visist some back story, even if you dont use it on these two raping slavers.  I can personally attest that while having a moustache and twirling it can be quite fun,it doesnt make the greatest villians, I.E. Law abiding Citizen, Heath Ledgers Joker, or the Godfathers villains were more horrible, because we could understand how they became what they are, not necessarily like them, but at least understand how they are the way they are, and remember there are no Evil Vikings, there just friggin Vikings

Viddax
Lord Viddax
Guardian of Shadows
United Kingdom 31awards
Joined 10th Oct 2009
Forum Posts: 6672

I thought it was more along the lines of self-defense and accidental manslaughter, than 'Unlimited Power' and maniacal laughing. Though if you mean the rapers are evil, then sort of yes, a backstory would be helpful. Something along the lines of slaving is the only way to make money, nobody loves them, they once had dreams, the whole world and life is uncaring, the whole grim and dark feel.

Ah, but there are good Vikings: Hagar the Horrible, Vikings from Asterix (in the end), How to train your dragon. Well, okay, good by viking standards.

ScarletLenore
Alenore
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 2nd Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 7

When you write it, definitely make sure to write in the brain matter and blood getting on your heroine. I also am for her vomiting afterwards. That wold give her a side your audience could relate to.

Maybe her screaming would precede the heads exploding? Also, in my head, after that happens I'd write about her just staring in shock as the bodies slowly fall to the ground. Maybe one falling on top of her as well.

AudreyLaneGrey
Lost Thinker
United States
Joined 4th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 1

I vote for vomiting as well after reading the rest of the responses. If it's going to be in an alleyway I would recommend a wall becoming splattered with it sliding down or the grey matter exploding up and raining back down with little plops. It will seem slightly humorous (if done right) and gross at the same time.

GodKill
Lost Thinker
Joined 14th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 16

I'd say, ( by being the king of gruesome... Lol ) that the best way for "brain juices" is to leave most powers and just get up close, and personal, grab them both,
One in each hand, and
SQUEEZE!
SQUEEZE!
SQUEEZE!
Until it pops lol, brains under fingernails,
Thumbs through the eyes, the whole nine yards,
or just grab the other one by the neck and squeeze, till her nails rip into his throat and pull it out.

bmxer511901
Twisted Dreamer
Joined 23rd Nov 2013
Forum Posts: 2

Gotta add in the killing some one details racing heart beat heavy breathin nausea ect all that plays in

Krosgood
Violence
Thought Provoker
United States 12awards
Joined 21st Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 163

The tops of their heads began to burn. Clumps of hair easily came out as they ran their fingers through it to see what the sensation was. A tearing sound came and their eyes started bugging out of their heads while the skin on their scalps slowly inched apart. Screaming only made it worse by increasing the pressure inside their skulls. Blood ran from their nostrils as the cartilage fragmented. Jaws snapped down the center of their chins from the ever growing mass of what resembled ginger roots with eyes, eyes that had just erupted from their sockets with a rush of pressurized blood. It sounded like a wet towel being slapped on the floor when the skin and bone finally gave way. Skull fragments were propelled by such a force that pieces were imbedded in her skin. Pieces of hair were stuck in her teeth from wincing as the finalies caught her off guard. Brain and other indecipherable bits she noticed were scattered galore; but the two men still stood, in a red mist of their own design. Their tongues flapped frantically from the stump of their necks while the bodies finally realized they were dead. They both fell simultaneously. A gurgling hiss could be heard from the lungs expelling the rest of the air inside mixing with the last of the blood which had not been atomized. The sound of silence was too silent, she thought. Maybe she had gone def using her magic. She was relieved when she pulled out slugs of brain matter from her ear; it moved in her fingers. A little white wormlike parasite stuck it's tiny pin head out from the chunk. She threw it on the ground and stamped it out with a twisting motion with her heel.

Shower anyone?

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