Good Stalkers Are Hard To Find
I had a friend say to me that he's never been stalked... and I thought, how can you be sure? I mean, what if you're being stalked by a really good stalker, they could be sitting in the safety of their home, following your every move on social media and you wouldn't have a clue that they've read every poem you've written, perhaps they're even a friend, who discreetly likes your every status on Facebook and has written an entire catalogue of poetry in homage of their hero/heroine, their idol, their god/goddess.
The word "stalker" is a term used very loosely these days to describe a "follower" on social-media, who may have unintentionally crossed the line or perhaps innocently sent a few too many personal messages or even hinted to their somewhat fragile and paranoid idol that they know them a little too well.
I'll confess, I've done things online that could be considered borderline stalker-ish, and in hindsight, what I thought was either a humorous act of admiration or perhaps innocent [over] friendly banter, was most likely creepy for someone I looked up to and admired.
I was just watching a video this morning posted by a strength coach I subscribe to on YouTube, where a 15 year old boy said to this virtual-celebrity, "I watch your videos 40 times a day, you're like a mentor to me", and in my mind I'm thinking "stalker-alert", but the coach immediately responded to the camera, "that's why I make these videos!" I thought that was a really cool response, but then analysed my initial thoughts of the boys comment and asked myself, what's wrong with having heroes these days and why have we become so paranoid as a society?
I think the internet and technology has made us all feel a little more vulnerable. The internet was originally an information gathering tool used by the military and now the power of information technology is in our hands, with GPS satellites able to locate our devices with pin point accuracy. Suddenly we find ourselves so much more accessible to this strange world... or is the world more accessible to virtual strangers.
Just last night three DU members were eerily peering over the shoulder of a fellow poet during a live digital broadcast on community radio, via a webcam set up in the corner of the studio. Is this a passive reenactment of George Orwell's own prophecy "Big Brother is watching you", when there are thousands of websites that give voyeurs access to public webcams in every city of the world, where complete strangers have no idea they are being watched.
Where am I going with this paranoid rant of stalkers, voyeurs and Big Brother? I'm fucked if I know. Just feel free to share your own thoughts on voyeur-stalker culture, paranoid idols and the dos and don'ts of being a good stalker.
Please keep this discussion anonymous, especially if you're being stalked or if you are a self-confessed stalker, by starting your post or comments with "I have a friend who's being stalked" or "I have a friend who's a stalker".
Thank you. I'll be starting a poetry comp shortly in the theme of "Good Stalkers Are Hard To Find".
The word "stalker" is a term used very loosely these days to describe a "follower" on social-media, who may have unintentionally crossed the line or perhaps innocently sent a few too many personal messages or even hinted to their somewhat fragile and paranoid idol that they know them a little too well.
I'll confess, I've done things online that could be considered borderline stalker-ish, and in hindsight, what I thought was either a humorous act of admiration or perhaps innocent [over] friendly banter, was most likely creepy for someone I looked up to and admired.
I was just watching a video this morning posted by a strength coach I subscribe to on YouTube, where a 15 year old boy said to this virtual-celebrity, "I watch your videos 40 times a day, you're like a mentor to me", and in my mind I'm thinking "stalker-alert", but the coach immediately responded to the camera, "that's why I make these videos!" I thought that was a really cool response, but then analysed my initial thoughts of the boys comment and asked myself, what's wrong with having heroes these days and why have we become so paranoid as a society?
I think the internet and technology has made us all feel a little more vulnerable. The internet was originally an information gathering tool used by the military and now the power of information technology is in our hands, with GPS satellites able to locate our devices with pin point accuracy. Suddenly we find ourselves so much more accessible to this strange world... or is the world more accessible to virtual strangers.
Just last night three DU members were eerily peering over the shoulder of a fellow poet during a live digital broadcast on community radio, via a webcam set up in the corner of the studio. Is this a passive reenactment of George Orwell's own prophecy "Big Brother is watching you", when there are thousands of websites that give voyeurs access to public webcams in every city of the world, where complete strangers have no idea they are being watched.
Where am I going with this paranoid rant of stalkers, voyeurs and Big Brother? I'm fucked if I know. Just feel free to share your own thoughts on voyeur-stalker culture, paranoid idols and the dos and don'ts of being a good stalker.
Please keep this discussion anonymous, especially if you're being stalked or if you are a self-confessed stalker, by starting your post or comments with "I have a friend who's being stalked" or "I have a friend who's a stalker".
Thank you. I'll be starting a poetry comp shortly in the theme of "Good Stalkers Are Hard To Find".
yeah, quite Franky I got an inkling something was up when the first
face cam thing popped up on the screen which wasn't so bad in that at least it was rerespectable looking. I've never ...ever in my life saw somebody fuck a baked potatoe quite like the queen of Clacton did for his morning trick
I have a smart phone which i don't find very smart at all. It freezes a lot, like it has some kind of narkalepsy <- ...it didn't even offer me a correct spelling ..unless it is the correct spelling, in which case I'm smarter than I thought
I think Orwell was close enough to the year. first mentions of Internet were in 1981, the web would have been a weaving by 1984
but more than that, images are a powerful thing, voice was too. A when there were no images there were phone taps and microphones. before that there were spies
I thought a lot of what Orwell put into 1984 was how he saw the progression of an already established modus operandi
...oh, the cameras are for my safety ? ...cool, so they'll freeze time when the crazed lunatic tries to strike my head off with an axe. good to know, from now on I'll only go where there's a camera.
furthermore
I think shops which have cameras outside their shops should take them down. like now. film inside your establishment by all means, but don't film me if I don't don't go in.
face cam thing popped up on the screen which wasn't so bad in that at least it was rerespectable looking. I've never ...ever in my life saw somebody fuck a baked potatoe quite like the queen of Clacton did for his morning trick
I have a smart phone which i don't find very smart at all. It freezes a lot, like it has some kind of narkalepsy <- ...it didn't even offer me a correct spelling ..unless it is the correct spelling, in which case I'm smarter than I thought
I think Orwell was close enough to the year. first mentions of Internet were in 1981, the web would have been a weaving by 1984
but more than that, images are a powerful thing, voice was too. A when there were no images there were phone taps and microphones. before that there were spies
I thought a lot of what Orwell put into 1984 was how he saw the progression of an already established modus operandi
...oh, the cameras are for my safety ? ...cool, so they'll freeze time when the crazed lunatic tries to strike my head off with an axe. good to know, from now on I'll only go where there's a camera.
furthermore
I think shops which have cameras outside their shops should take them down. like now. film inside your establishment by all means, but don't film me if I don't don't go in.
Anonymous
I read once that CCTV captures you without your knowledge, a minimum of 15 times every time you walk down the street. This fact actually turned into one of my obsessive compulsive disorder neurotiscisms a few years back. I'd walk into a store and have to check where all the cameras were first. Not because I was going to steal or anything like that, but I believed that by them watching me, I was going to do something wrong. This was at the height of my total paranoia, having had a nervous breakdown, and not leaving the house for 9 months.
To this day, I don't like being filmed, which kinda explains my love of making audio videos without picture... but then I'm a little scared of people seeing the real me. Why? Because of a bad experience in which somebody in the real world used lots of my poetry against me. So I write through an avatar, only letting people I really trust into my little circle.
There's another friend I know like that. We know each other's real names, having stumbled upon them during a Facebook conversation, and the first thing he said to me was "now you know my real name, I'm gonna have to kill you" (all jokes of course)
What did he think I was going to do with that information? It so happens that I've never told another soul his name, even when people have asked, or anything about him, but that level of fear is in direct correlation to this Big Brother state we've got going on.
"What if somebody gets too close to me?"
I've recently started using video chat software to talk to a few people online. Why do I do that? It humanises people. You see their faces. For a split second, you are both human beings talking to each other; not avatars, not words on a screen, you are two people, talking. And that's actually a really useful tool to keep you grounded. Know that if I invite you to do that, it's because I trust you, it's because I want to to be real with you.
It amazes me that some people think even that is creepy.
In real life terms, I've had a real stalker. A man that would sleep outside my porch because it just so happens that I looked like his ex wife, and it's horrible - but it's easier to deal with, because it's physical. It's real. You can see it.
The last time I left the DU, I was so riddled with fear over the actions of a member that shall remain nameless, I was unbelievably paranoid. I was throwing up in the street wondering if this person knew my every move, knew where I lived... and that's more frightening, because it's the unknown.
And the unknown is fucking scary.
To this day, I don't like being filmed, which kinda explains my love of making audio videos without picture... but then I'm a little scared of people seeing the real me. Why? Because of a bad experience in which somebody in the real world used lots of my poetry against me. So I write through an avatar, only letting people I really trust into my little circle.
There's another friend I know like that. We know each other's real names, having stumbled upon them during a Facebook conversation, and the first thing he said to me was "now you know my real name, I'm gonna have to kill you" (all jokes of course)
What did he think I was going to do with that information? It so happens that I've never told another soul his name, even when people have asked, or anything about him, but that level of fear is in direct correlation to this Big Brother state we've got going on.
"What if somebody gets too close to me?"
I've recently started using video chat software to talk to a few people online. Why do I do that? It humanises people. You see their faces. For a split second, you are both human beings talking to each other; not avatars, not words on a screen, you are two people, talking. And that's actually a really useful tool to keep you grounded. Know that if I invite you to do that, it's because I trust you, it's because I want to to be real with you.
It amazes me that some people think even that is creepy.
In real life terms, I've had a real stalker. A man that would sleep outside my porch because it just so happens that I looked like his ex wife, and it's horrible - but it's easier to deal with, because it's physical. It's real. You can see it.
The last time I left the DU, I was so riddled with fear over the actions of a member that shall remain nameless, I was unbelievably paranoid. I was throwing up in the street wondering if this person knew my every move, knew where I lived... and that's more frightening, because it's the unknown.
And the unknown is fucking scary.
Magdalena said:I understood everything Lep just said.
You sound a little surprised... 😏
The use of CCTV cameras in public spaces are always justified by authorities and law enforcement as deterrents of crime and necessary for public safety. There have even been murder and abduction cases where detectives [and even the media] have obtained video footage from shop owners and businesses, where victims and their offenders were caught on CCTV outside their establishments moments before the crime was committed, assisting investigators to identify the offenders and solve cases. Isn't this kind of Big Brother presence a good thing?
But is Big Brother taking it too far when governments introduce laws where internet providers are required to store our metadata for years, so national intelligence can monitor our internet usage by tracking what websites we visit. Can governments really justify this kind of invasion of privacy all in the name of national security?
You sound a little surprised... 😏
The use of CCTV cameras in public spaces are always justified by authorities and law enforcement as deterrents of crime and necessary for public safety. There have even been murder and abduction cases where detectives [and even the media] have obtained video footage from shop owners and businesses, where victims and their offenders were caught on CCTV outside their establishments moments before the crime was committed, assisting investigators to identify the offenders and solve cases. Isn't this kind of Big Brother presence a good thing?
But is Big Brother taking it too far when governments introduce laws where internet providers are required to store our metadata for years, so national intelligence can monitor our internet usage by tracking what websites we visit. Can governments really justify this kind of invasion of privacy all in the name of national security?
We have four CCTV cameras in my place of employment, which are used to spy on the staff and to watch out for any fraud, violence, robberies etc from the customers and while I was duty manager a few weeks back, there was a violent incident all caught on camera, this time, the footage was removed from the premises to review that and not spy on the staff, which makes a nice change... Anyway, I hate being aware that I am being filmed the whole time I am at work, I hate being filmed by ANYONE, I will not even use a webcam, not because I don't want people to see me, I don't want to see myself. It's a long story but pretty much along the same lines as Missy, so I won't go into it (I allowed someone to get into my head and do damage and healing is a slow process) I know, I have my picture in my profile, that is out of defiance and trying to overcome my struggle, but people should fuck off with thinking they have the right to take my picture or film me without my permission and then post it publicly on the internet.
Back to stalkers, I've had my fair share and still the hairs go up on the back of my neck when I feel my neighbour's eyes on me and I turn around to see him on his balcony just watching me (he posted his phone number through my letter box once, wedged himself in my car door so I couldn't close it, stinking of alcohol and eyeing me from head to toe, saying "look at you" and licking his fucking lips)
Back to stalkers, I've had my fair share and still the hairs go up on the back of my neck when I feel my neighbour's eyes on me and I turn around to see him on his balcony just watching me (he posted his phone number through my letter box once, wedged himself in my car door so I couldn't close it, stinking of alcohol and eyeing me from head to toe, saying "look at you" and licking his fucking lips)
edead said:
They justify a lot worse in the name of national security so why not? And it's only starting. Wait till the drones clutter the sky the way advertising clutters the landscape.
So if it's cool for governments to follow our every move online and from the air in the name of national security, is it ok for a stalker to follow your movements online and perhaps in your backyard or from your bedroom window, using a drone fitted with a HD video camera they purchased on Amazon? Because let's face it, your secret admirer doesn't want to harm you, they just want to protect what's theirs.
They justify a lot worse in the name of national security so why not? And it's only starting. Wait till the drones clutter the sky the way advertising clutters the landscape.
So if it's cool for governments to follow our every move online and from the air in the name of national security, is it ok for a stalker to follow your movements online and perhaps in your backyard or from your bedroom window, using a drone fitted with a HD video camera they purchased on Amazon? Because let's face it, your secret admirer doesn't want to harm you, they just want to protect what's theirs.
Anonymous
case28 said:Because let's face it, your secret admirer doesn't want to harm you, they just want to protect what's theirs.
In the case of my stalker, the guy started following me because I looked like his ex wife. In hindsight, the guy was hurting. In hindsight, the guy was clearly mourning what he lost and I just happened to be the target. The psychology of stalkers is very interesting once you break it down. Of course I was creeped out at the time, as anybody would be when a strange guy is sleeping outside your door... but do I hate him right now? ... no. I don't think I do. The bottom line is, he was grieving, and grief does very strange things to people.
Can the same be applied to CCTV though? If the rule of thumb here is 'they are just protecting what's theirs' then maybe it's justified. We live in a society where people do steal for whatever reasons, so maybe it's what they feel is purely damage limitation to their own businesses.
It's a grey area.
In the case of my stalker, the guy started following me because I looked like his ex wife. In hindsight, the guy was hurting. In hindsight, the guy was clearly mourning what he lost and I just happened to be the target. The psychology of stalkers is very interesting once you break it down. Of course I was creeped out at the time, as anybody would be when a strange guy is sleeping outside your door... but do I hate him right now? ... no. I don't think I do. The bottom line is, he was grieving, and grief does very strange things to people.
Can the same be applied to CCTV though? If the rule of thumb here is 'they are just protecting what's theirs' then maybe it's justified. We live in a society where people do steal for whatever reasons, so maybe it's what they feel is purely damage limitation to their own businesses.
It's a grey area.
I think at one point in most of our lives, we have showed more interest in another than they found comfortable....I have driven past a house or 2 however this was years ago.....The only ones I stalk now are my own children and thats only on their Intsagram accounts...Hey I am allowed, I am their Mother. As for being staked....I was once....I found it to be very annoying and confusing due to the fact that this person made it hard for me to find love when I needed it most....All of thats in the past now and I have learned from it all....If you are thinking of stalking someone, dont. Its really creepy and they have places for you.
First off, I have never to my knowledge been stalked, or even feel like I have stalkers, or feel threatened by cameras. But that is just my position. The flipside of stalkers and attention is that lonely land more in tune with depression and being a machine or inanimate thing (you exist but are not paid attention to). Then again I am not exactly overly active and apparent on social medias so staying somewhat analogue in your life has its advantages.
Though sometimes I fear I have been slightly creepy or stalkerish with some DU people: lots of attention upon them for a while, but that's probably unfounded.
I am not sure we have quite got to the Big Brother stage, as modern life is just a bit too derp and troll for that. By that I mean that Big Brother had a purpose, a goal, a motive, and ruled life and even language to achieve and maintain that. Modern life/ society is just a bit too attention deficit and varied/ variable to get it to be at Big Brother's level. Given the existence of trending and trends in social media, what once was the hype attention focus of one month, one week, even one day, is swiftly replaced the next. While Big Brother would use its power to fight and control Eurasia, if given the chance now people may well simply vote for a funny looking cat to control the Europe and Asia landmass simply on merit of entertainment.
Anyway, to me, it is along the lines of being Neutral Stupid or Lawful Stupid or True Stupid, than Lawful Evil as Big Brother.
It always seems daft to me that CCTV can record and 'catch' the evidence of a crime and suspects, yet does not prevent crime, or even more useful actually stop the crime while it is happening. Hopefully robots in the future are not just walking tin cans with CCTV, rather than neutral observers who can detain criminals or suspects. An arrest on site would be rather dystopian, not to mention a big nail in the coffin of the rogue and their smooth words.
'Followers' as 'stalkers' seems to also be a symptom of modern paranoia and to a degree fading religion. I mean celebrities and internet stars might are somewhat similar to saints: you know they are/ were normal just like everyone else, but now they can do miracles through presentation and charisma and sometimes for a cause. Basically, because you don't see your heroes everyday doing the same thing you are doing in a bland not notable way, and can only interact with them or experience them, through non-physical media such as the internet, they do not become familiar things that exist and are of no note. By having a barrier of distance, a limit of experience, an almost withholding of their essence, it promotes the need to fulfil the connection.
Basically heroes are always on the horizon, while people stand near you.
(Uh, death by wall of text: the Viddaxian way of assassination.)
Though sometimes I fear I have been slightly creepy or stalkerish with some DU people: lots of attention upon them for a while, but that's probably unfounded.
I am not sure we have quite got to the Big Brother stage, as modern life is just a bit too derp and troll for that. By that I mean that Big Brother had a purpose, a goal, a motive, and ruled life and even language to achieve and maintain that. Modern life/ society is just a bit too attention deficit and varied/ variable to get it to be at Big Brother's level. Given the existence of trending and trends in social media, what once was the hype attention focus of one month, one week, even one day, is swiftly replaced the next. While Big Brother would use its power to fight and control Eurasia, if given the chance now people may well simply vote for a funny looking cat to control the Europe and Asia landmass simply on merit of entertainment.
Anyway, to me, it is along the lines of being Neutral Stupid or Lawful Stupid or True Stupid, than Lawful Evil as Big Brother.
It always seems daft to me that CCTV can record and 'catch' the evidence of a crime and suspects, yet does not prevent crime, or even more useful actually stop the crime while it is happening. Hopefully robots in the future are not just walking tin cans with CCTV, rather than neutral observers who can detain criminals or suspects. An arrest on site would be rather dystopian, not to mention a big nail in the coffin of the rogue and their smooth words.
'Followers' as 'stalkers' seems to also be a symptom of modern paranoia and to a degree fading religion. I mean celebrities and internet stars might are somewhat similar to saints: you know they are/ were normal just like everyone else, but now they can do miracles through presentation and charisma and sometimes for a cause. Basically, because you don't see your heroes everyday doing the same thing you are doing in a bland not notable way, and can only interact with them or experience them, through non-physical media such as the internet, they do not become familiar things that exist and are of no note. By having a barrier of distance, a limit of experience, an almost withholding of their essence, it promotes the need to fulfil the connection.
Basically heroes are always on the horizon, while people stand near you.
(Uh, death by wall of text: the Viddaxian way of assassination.)
I had a friend ..up until yesterday when he got murdered around the corner from his house
there were no cameras
to be honest, I don't think it would have made much of a difference if there was
I read an artical today which talked about Israel and its efforts to promote a positive view of itself around social media and the internet in general
students of Israel who eish to study abroad have to complete a course dealing with public relations and how to counter bad publicity <- mandatory
..the project is called Habas <- or something similar which basically translates to propaganda
on the other side, every Palestinian with a mobile phone are posting images and videos of real life
^ what I find odd about the above is real life images and video don't seem to be enough evidence to force change
Big brother is selective and deceptive.
we are selective
there were no cameras
to be honest, I don't think it would have made much of a difference if there was
I read an artical today which talked about Israel and its efforts to promote a positive view of itself around social media and the internet in general
students of Israel who eish to study abroad have to complete a course dealing with public relations and how to counter bad publicity <- mandatory
..the project is called Habas <- or something similar which basically translates to propaganda
on the other side, every Palestinian with a mobile phone are posting images and videos of real life
^ what I find odd about the above is real life images and video don't seem to be enough evidence to force change
Big brother is selective and deceptive.
we are selective
