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Spanking?

MaggieG
Dangerous Mind
United States 16awards
Joined 27th Nov 2012
Forum Posts: 1831

APERSON said:[quote-159500-MaggieG][quote-159497-APERSON]Well my father used to "spank" me when I was little it is not that awful I wouldn't do that to a kid though can't imagine grabbing a belt and just hitting a kid because they said "fuck" or something idiotic also I understand that punishment is given to people who have made mistakes...It just taught me how to hide everything I did and act obedient when in reality that was not the case... Words hurt more than a belt or a slap in my opinion.

What you have just described to me Aperson is someone getting spanked too much. The punishment is becoming irrelevant. 90 percent of the time a simple look, and a few choice words of disappointment were all that was needed to get my Da's point across. Belts are never necessary in my opinion. If a kid has pushed you to the point of "defending" yourself ? ( and let's get real.... It happens ) Even then, I would question picking something up. But a small child, and a bad word ? Nah .. There are other ways of handling that. [/quote]




I don't think it was too much I was just a "brat" when I was younger. I deserved every punishment That was given. I agree with you about belts being a bit much, I would never personally do that to a kid but in the end it was all necessary for the way I was.[/quote]

My son said "fuck" once when he was 7 I think. I cuss like the daughter of an Irish Catholic Army Sgt, so.... lol I didn't feel right about coming down on the kid like a ton of bricks, but I wanted him to lose his fascination with the word real quick. I called Da and told him. He got James on the phone, and the next thing I know James was sitting at the kitchen table repeating "fuck" over and over. This went on for an hour. lol By the end of it, James was barely saying it, and yawning.

Needless to say the word didn't come out of his mouth for a long long time.  lol

Gg78
Tyrant of Words
United States 26awards
Joined 5th Mar 2011
Forum Posts: 9051

Spanking I personally do not think its needed. You can do more damage with words and punishment. Like Maggie said her hubby had him repeat it. Same happened to me. My daughter thought it was okay to say I hate this shit already. I was beyond pissed. One she was talking to me. So I made her sit at the table, but not after I yelled at her and explained to her again that I am your mother if you ever talk to me like that again I will take your happiness away. That's tv phones friends computers everything. Anyways I sat her at the table and made her write on 5 sheets of white paper front and back, Saying , I will not ever disrespect my mother again. And it happened again next time it was no phone and 10 sheets of paper. It's been 6 months since. I get nothing but respect. She slips up but automatically says I'm sorry mommy I'm just aggravated its not you.
Now when they are toddlers I see nothing wrong with a tiny smack on the hand or the bum (not to actually hurt hurt them) but to show them no you can not touch the damn toilet water. Or use shaving cream as a floor cleaner then think its very cute to throw powder all over it. No no no

Gg78
Tyrant of Words
United States 26awards
Joined 5th Mar 2011
Forum Posts: 9051

Another thing, like many others here I was beat as a child, and even then I felt violated. Why do people think because they made a child that , that gives them the right to lay their hands on them. No it's not. It's their body you're harming why because they did something wrong. That does not justify the means.. No need to spank, Discipline them verbally and by taking things they enjoy most away.

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

MaggieG said:[quote-159503-Magdalena]If I even as much as raise my hand to my son he has his school book out of his bag (with child line information on) Not that I would do it.

Like I said, I take his Xbox off him and he is mortified.


If you are talking abut what I think you are talking about Magdalena ( Protective services in the schools ? ) Yeah... They tried that here in the States too. My daughter threatened me with it more than once.( It's ok... You can say it. She was a defiant little fart when she was younger lol )Once I actually (without saying a word) handed her the phone. She put it down, and simply replied "I am going to my room now. I know I am in trouble."

*smirks*

Now ? Particularly in the Southern States, the cops get called because kids are out of line ? I have heard more than one cop tell a parent " This State has corporal punishment. You are wasting my time, and you need to spank that kid's ass. "  

I can't really blame these cops for feeling that way, considering what they get called out for now a days. [/quote]


Yep Maggie, I have called my sons bluff on that one., said go ahead and call them, I will tell them how naughty you are and I will tell your teachers (the thought of me going to his school with all his friends knowing was enough to get him to think twice lol)

He is good on the most part and is a very caring boy. ~smiles~



Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Oh yep, and his guilt always gets the better of him, he eventually says sorry without me asking.

MaggieG
Dangerous Mind
United States 16awards
Joined 27th Nov 2012
Forum Posts: 1831

Magdalena said:[quote-159505-MaggieG][quote-159503-Magdalena]If I even as much as raise my hand to my son he has his school book out of his bag (with child line information on) Not that I would do it.

Like I said, I take his Xbox off him and he is mortified.


If you are talking abut what I think you are talking about Magdalena ( Protective services in the schools ? ) Yeah... They tried that here in the States too. My daughter threatened me with it more than once.( It's ok... You can say it. She was a defiant little fart when she was younger lol )Once I actually (without saying a word) handed her the phone. She put it down, and simply replied "I am going to my room now. I know I am in trouble."

*smirks*

Now ? Particularly in the Southern States, the cops get called because kids are out of line ? I have heard more than one cop tell a parent " This State has corporal punishment. You are wasting my time, and you need to spank that kid's ass. "  

I can't really blame these cops for feeling that way, considering what they get called out for now a days. [/quote]


Yep Maggie, I have called my sons bluff on that one., said go ahead and call them, I will tell them how naughty you are and I will tell your teachers (the thought of me going to his school with all his friends knowing was enough to get him to think twice lol)

He is good on the most part and is a very caring boy. ~smiles~


[/quote]

Parenting requires creativity of thought. As I said before, using spanking as the be all, end all is no more effective than not spanking at all. (or holding the threat of it over their heads) As I also said, I rarely had to spank my kids. It was very much the final solution. But they knew it wasn't off the table either. I used to threaten my kids with going to their school in no makeup, my teeth out, in my fuzzy pink robe, and in curlers more than I threatened to spank them. The very idea of that mortified my daughter.  lol Another thing I don't think parents think about  is actually choosing their battles wisely.

My sister called me up one day to tell me my teenage niece died her hair green, painted her nails black, and was wearing deep purple lipstick. My response was

" Ren, Here is my thoughts on that. Embrace it. Can you think of any better form of birth control ? Who wants to fuck Bozo the Clown ? "

My sister about lost it. lol By the next year the girl was 18, honey haired blond, pink nails, and red lips, and...

pregnant

My sister still tells me " I should have listened to you. " lol  

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

MaggieG said:

Parenting requires creativity of thought. As I said before, using spanking as the be all, end all is no more effective than not spanking at all. (or holding the threat of it over their heads) As I also said, I rarely had to spank my kids. It was very much the final solution. But they knew it wasn't off the table either. I used to threaten my kids with going to their school in no makeup, my teeth out, in my fuzzy pink robe, and in curlers more than I threatened to spank them. The very idea of that mortified my daughter.  lol Another thing I don't think parents think about  is actually choosing their battles wisely.

My sister called me up one day to tell me my teenage niece died her hair green, painted her nails black, and was wearing deep purple lipstick. My response was

" Ren, Here is my thoughts on that. Embrace it. Can you think of any better form of birth control ? Who wants to fuck Bozo the Clown ? "

My sister about lost it. lol By the next year the girl was 18, honey haired blond, pink nails, and red lips, and...

pregnant

My sister still tells me " I should have listened to you. " lol  



Lmao Maggie. Love the fuzzy pink robe and curlers lol.



I would have stocked up on the green hair dye and insisted she use it.


My son is nearly 13 and all of those things work on him, especially when I threaten to give him a kiss when I drop him off at school and shout "I love you" after him.  Now he has started asking me to drop him off before the gate but I won't, I take him right inside the school grounds lol.


Poemography
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
Joined 12th Jan 2013
Forum Posts: 33

Spanking is bang out of order. It's nothing more than child abuse, employed by people with poor self control and little imagination. It teaches nothing but violence, and breeds nothing but contempt.

Kou_Indigo
Kara L. Pythiana-Ashton
Tyrant of Words
United States 68awards
Joined 15th Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 2784

I had a lot of horrible kinds of "discipline" done to me. My grandfather used to hold me down and force bar soap into my mouth until I cried. He only stopped when my grandmother made him. Sometimes, she had to hit him to stop him. When I was ten, he dragged me from one end of my room to the other and beat me on the face and backside. I had to see a shrink at the time, I had been a victim of abuses done to me in a Catholic School. I told the shrink what my grandfather did and I totally broke down. She sent social workers to the house and my grandfather almost was arrested. After that, he refused to ever hit me or hurt me again. My grandmother covered for him and since he died the whole family just about sainted the old bastard. He always said he hated me, called me a "little fag", and told me I'd never amount to anything. He was a Korean War vet, and he was unstable. The older he got, the more lazy and selfish he became. He started to over-eat, got fat, and died of diabetes. My brother is the only one who misses him, and that is only beacuse he is only my half-brother and never actually had to live under the same roof as our grandfather... so he was spared the worst. Even so, we both called the old man "The Ogre" because of how terrible he was. My father was a Vietnam War vet who came back high on psychotropic drugs and off his nut. He used to squeeze my face when I was still only a baby in the crib. My mother divorced him to save our lives, and we moved to get away. I got put in a Catholic School where I was abused and tortured for four years of my life. The nuns and teachers were sick! I endured being taped to a chair and having my mouth and nose taped so I could not breathe... then being hit and beat, unable to fight back. I was also locked in dark closets and left there for hours. I was once pushed into a wall and a nail almost put out my left eye. They always pulled my clothes off and beat me if if swore or if I refused to pray to (to, not for) the Pope. I always said the Pope is only a man and we should not pray to a man. So they beat me more for saying that, called it heresy and blasphemy. They dumped my bread into my milk and made me eat the soggy stuff, then if I threw up they would make me eat my own vommit off the floor. They tried to slip me curdled milk once to see if I would drink it and get sick, but I was not that stupid. They would make me climb a tall ladder in the church and then shake it so I would almost fall off of it. The priest was a sick pedo who always tried to get the boys and girls to go down into the church's pitch-black cellar, but I always refused. I got beat for refusing, but at least I was never raped or molested out of it. When people imagine the tortures of Hell, they are nothing compared to what human beings can do in the name of God and religion. They said if I told my parents about the abuse, they would kill them and take me away forever. But finally, in fourth grade, I told and then ended up in public schools where I did much better, but I did end up having to see shrinks for my whole sixth grade year because of all that abuse I went through. When I was twelve my grandfather shoved me in a military program to try and "make a man" out of me because since I was two years old I showed signs of being a woman, of being Trans and all. They called me "gay" for that. So they thought a military program would "cure" me of being "gay". In that program, we had to run 35 miles every day even if it made us throw up. The drill sergent would force us to run by dragging us if we stumbled or fell. I ended up getting trench foot and nearly lost my feet, but they healed and I was fine. The program turned out to be illegally run without the government's approval, but it was only found out after I had spent a year with an insane drill sergent hell bent on turning kids into killers. I was the only one of those kids to not end up going crazy and getting into trouble when I got older. The others ended up in prison, psychiatric institutions, or just plain disappearing and never being heard from again. In school I was bullied constantly because I looked like a girl even then. The boys would try to tear off my clothes and one even tried to rape me in the locker room when I was trying to get ready for swimming class. I screamed for help and the teacher saved me. Later, I found the would-be rapist and made him pay by punching him in the balls until he doubled over and begged me for mercy. The one good thing I learned in that military program was how to defend myself and not let anyone make me a victim. In high school, in woodshop class, one bully used to try and push me into a jigsaw all the time. I had big hair like all girls did back then, and the boys made fun of me for it, spat on me, and flicked their snots on me. I don't know how I kept myself sane during that time! Those were the kinds of children who should have been spanked or disciplined. My mother used to date all kinds of guys, but three were sadists. One was wanted by the FBI and was on America's Most Wanted once under an alias. When I was only thirteen years old, he tried to give me a knife, and he said: "Go on, try and stick me with it!" and of course I would not, so he would try and stick me with it. I ended up with some awful cuts, but they healed without a mark. Last anyone heard, he was running from the law. Then there was this big fat biker guy. When I was sixteen years old, that fat bastard snuck into my bedroom one afternoon, and told me he was going to hurt me because he knew I didn't approve of him dating my mom. I flipped him off, so he grabbed me by the neck, dragged me from my chair unto my bed, tried to strangle me and then he started to undo his pants and I knew he was going to rape me when my mother came into the room and screamed until she was speechless. She stood there stunned, and my grandmother came in and pulled that pervert off of me before he could force himself on me. I ran out of the house and tried to contact the police. He ran after me with a gun and said if I told the cops he would shoot my brains out. So to keep himself out of jail, that freak ran out of the house. I think the sickest part is that my mother kept dating him after that until she found out he was married to another woman the whole time. That same year, I ended up having to see a shrink again for a year beause of all that, combined with everything I had been through in previous years. The following year, my mother met a man who was kicked out of Italy for drug smuggling and she married him and had my half-brother by him. That nut used to sneak up behind me, restrain me so I could not move, and then hit me all over my back and head. He also tried to strangle my grandmother to death and refused to allow my mother to get health insurance. That's why she died, when she came down with diabetes from over-eating sweets and soda out of depression from the abusive and controlling way he treated her all the time. My brother lives with him in a nearby town to this day, which is where my mother spent the final years of her life. She went from a woman who was full of life to a broken fatalist who gave up and wanted to die. He was the last man to ever put hands on me and abuse me, thank the Goddess! So there is a fine line between discipline... and outright sadism, perversion, and abuse. I think that is why I am so peaceful, because I know what it is like to be a victim, and I would never wish that on anyone else. Discipline can be reasonable, but violence can kill in more ways than just the obvious. So yeah, I had a hard time of it growing up! My relatives not in the immediate family have no idea, since they see life through rose-tinted glasses. But I know what I went through, and I know what child abuse can do to a person. Spanking would have been more bearable, by far, than what I endured! Peace, my friends.

AlanSmithee
Strange Creature
United States
Joined 11th Dec 2014
Forum Posts: 12

I believe in discipline but not corporal punishment.  

MsRockyJackson
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 1st July 2014
Forum Posts: 318

I don't believe in beatings.
I don't want to be the kind of mother who hits her child to the point where it's not even discipline but just abuse.
I want my children to love me and at the same time respect me as their mother.
I feel that even when you do hit your kids they will still turn out bad so it really doesn't make a difference whether or not you beat your kids they will still turn out bad unless if you are able to give them the love and guidence they need in order to become good and respectful.
A child will not be able to do every thing right because they are human and also children so therefore it is hard for them to know the difference between right and wrong. Would you expect a child to already know to not flush your diamond ring in the toilet or to not spill their grape juice on the carpet? No so obviously they need to learn what is good and what is bad without treating them so harshly.

BoFantastic
Thought Provoker
7awards
Joined 24th Apr 2014
Forum Posts: 333

honestly, words hurt more than spankings, and they do more harm.
you can make a child cry by calling him 'stupid.' so never, call a child 'stupid.'
words are more powerful than you think. words can discipline a child better than fists.

show a child what you feel with words. a child can recover from a spanking, but
she cannot recover from spiteful words, angry words, violent words.
speak love, show wisdom, connect with your inner child, nurture and enjoy life.

I never like spanking or using abusive language towards children, I'm more
careful than ever now that I made that shift in understanding.

But when it comes to a grown woman, giving me sass, well, I have no problem
with pulling her panties off, bending her over my lap, and spanking her bare
bottom red. Don't sass me if you're a grown woman. I'll put hands on you,
and these hands will make an impression on you. (Please don't comment on my comment.
I know some woman or dude out there reading this, has an opinion about my two cents, but
guess what, keep it to your self. Different strokes, different folks. I'll break your ass and I'll break
your egg yolks.)

poet Anonymous

why spend the first couple of years teaching them to walk and talk and then make them sit down and shut up.
give all the parenting advice in the world, children will do as you do, not as you say.
a kid who's never heard swearing doesn't swear. Teach them how to reason, how to make choices, how to be an individual.
teach, the key word here. Our job as parents is to teach our kids not to need us, to teach them how to survive here.
if we'd try teaching them all the right things, there'd be no time for the rest.
I cried reading this thread, I know we are all free to reproduce, but I swear
it is so sad for these innocent victims.

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