Spanking?
I was just wondering, what do you all think is a good form of discipline? Spanking? Or something else. (for example, my teachers sister, when her son hit her daughter after she told him not to, she made them hold hands all day and said that he could not hit her or he would have to sit in time out)
Because I've heard that a lot of people believe that spanking is the only way to make a child respectful, but I'm not really sure I believe that.
What do you think?
Because I've heard that a lot of people believe that spanking is the only way to make a child respectful, but I'm not really sure I believe that.
What do you think?
Some times the little bastards need to be spanked, other times you can reason with them, talk to them, help them to empathize and understand. Many people don't realize how smart and capable kids are, if you talk to them like mature adults, they'll be able to start contemplating and learning what if means to be one and most importantly, how to treat others.
I was spanked well and good as a child, my father was strict, I was still a defiant brat no matter how many hand prints my legs owned.
But I did grow up with good morals and respect.
I don't smack my son, he is at the age where he has a bit of an attitude (nearly 13) and tends to speak down to me at times, but all I do is take his Xbox off him and his notebook and anything else that requires until he stops the tantrum for taking his things.
He always says sorry in the end, I make him wait a day before he gets his stuff back.
But I did grow up with good morals and respect.
I don't smack my son, he is at the age where he has a bit of an attitude (nearly 13) and tends to speak down to me at times, but all I do is take his Xbox off him and his notebook and anything else that requires until he stops the tantrum for taking his things.
He always says sorry in the end, I make him wait a day before he gets his stuff back.
This is a tricky debate.
Can't let them get away with things
but
they're children.
They need time, patience and understanding.. after all.. they're doing the hardest thing any human will ever do
and that's Learning Everything from scratch.
It's amazing and beautiful to watch and be a part of.
Why is it OK for parents to tell a child not to smack or hurt others
then, in the same breath, smack and hurt the child themselves?
That just reinforces the idea that it's OK to hurt somebody when you get mad.
Sigh*
Can't let them get away with things
but
they're children.
They need time, patience and understanding.. after all.. they're doing the hardest thing any human will ever do
and that's Learning Everything from scratch.
It's amazing and beautiful to watch and be a part of.
Why is it OK for parents to tell a child not to smack or hurt others
then, in the same breath, smack and hurt the child themselves?
That just reinforces the idea that it's OK to hurt somebody when you get mad.
Sigh*
Interesting this is still actually being brought up since it has been so demonized over the years.
I spent 10 years in a government run orphanage from 3 to 13.
Translation ? I was beat ( Not just spanked, beat. Once to the point that it stopped me from delivering my children naturally years later )
Most think I don't agree with spanking based on this. Well... actually ... I still believe it to be the appropriate punishment for certain behaviors. I also believe there are very specific ways of doing it.
Never spank a child with anything but your hand.
Never spank a child more than 3 swats. Anything more than that is for you, not the kid.
And never ever think that it is the be all, end all punishment for every ridiculous thing your kid is going to try to pull on you.
My children are 25, and 23. I can count on one hand how many times I spanked both of them combined. But... They were always aware that it was not off the table if they pushed it too far.
I spent 10 years in a government run orphanage from 3 to 13.
Translation ? I was beat ( Not just spanked, beat. Once to the point that it stopped me from delivering my children naturally years later )
Most think I don't agree with spanking based on this. Well... actually ... I still believe it to be the appropriate punishment for certain behaviors. I also believe there are very specific ways of doing it.
Never spank a child with anything but your hand.
Never spank a child more than 3 swats. Anything more than that is for you, not the kid.
And never ever think that it is the be all, end all punishment for every ridiculous thing your kid is going to try to pull on you.
My children are 25, and 23. I can count on one hand how many times I spanked both of them combined. But... They were always aware that it was not off the table if they pushed it too far.
my parents were never that physical with me and i was an asshole but it's been all sirs and mams since a drill sgt got a hold of me in basic training.....but it's not like that in the us army anymore. if you say spanking is ok, how do you determine how much is too much? and is it the same for both genders? if i see a male child catching a whoopin at the grocery store i'd prolly walk right by, but if i see a dude beatin his daughter i'll prolly break his jaw.....honestly.
johnrot said:my parents were never that physical with me and i was an asshole but it's been all sirs and mams since a drill sgt got a hold of me in basic training.....but it's not like that in the us army anymore. if you say spanking is ok, how do you determine how much is too much? and is it the same for both genders? if i see a male child catching a whoopin at the grocery store i'd prolly walk right by, but if i see a dude beatin his daughter i'll prolly break his jaw.....honestly.
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys.
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys.
MaggieG said:[quote-157212-johnrot]my parents were never that physical with me and i was an asshole but it's been all sirs and mams since a drill sgt got a hold of me in basic training.....but it's not like that in the us army anymore. if you say spanking is ok, how do you determine how much is too much? and is it the same for both genders? if i see a male child catching a whoopin at the grocery store i'd prolly walk right by, but if i see a dude beatin his daughter i'll prolly break his jaw.....honestly.
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys. [/quote]
seems appropriate for a military man. even in basic a drill sgt would beat the shit out of a dude but a female would only recieve a verbal lashing for the same offense. i've been that way ever since. so have we determined that physical repercussions should be gender specific?even as far as severity ?
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys. [/quote]
seems appropriate for a military man. even in basic a drill sgt would beat the shit out of a dude but a female would only recieve a verbal lashing for the same offense. i've been that way ever since. so have we determined that physical repercussions should be gender specific?even as far as severity ?
johnrot said:[quote-157215-MaggieG][quote-157212-johnrot]my parents were never that physical with me and i was an asshole but it's been all sirs and mams since a drill sgt got a hold of me in basic training.....but it's not like that in the us army anymore. if you say spanking is ok, how do you determine how much is too much? and is it the same for both genders? if i see a male child catching a whoopin at the grocery store i'd prolly walk right by, but if i see a dude beatin his daughter i'll prolly break his jaw.....honestly.
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys. [/quote]
seems appropriate for a military man. even in basic a drill sgt would beat the shit out of a dude but a female would only recieve a verbal lashing for the same offense. i've been that way ever since. so have we determined that physical repercussions should be gender specific?[/quote]
As I said, I never gave my kids more than 3 swats with my hand so I didn't HAVE to treat them differently but I can see where some would, and maybe should. I punched my Da before. By rights I should have taken an ass whipping like my brother. That day I got mouth smacked because I also called him a bastard which obviously offended him far more than the punch. Da informed me later with a smirk on his face I had a mean right cross, but...
It wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
My brother however who did the same thing was 6 ft 4, and 250 pounds at 16. I seriously doubt a swat in the mouth would have phased the kid, although his punch about knocked my Da on his butt.
So.... lol
My Da was a Master Sgt, and he never spanked me (for reasons I mentioned in my thread)But he did swat me in the mouth twice because (and I quote)
" Your ass didn't offend me, your mouth did. "
My 14 brothers however ?
Two of them, my Da took behind the woodshed as we used to say, and with damn fine reason. (One pulled a knife on him, and the other socked him in the jaw.) My Da's words on both subjects
" You wanna come at me like a grown ass man, you WILL be treated like one. "
So yeah... He treated the girls differently from the boys. [/quote]
seems appropriate for a military man. even in basic a drill sgt would beat the shit out of a dude but a female would only recieve a verbal lashing for the same offense. i've been that way ever since. so have we determined that physical repercussions should be gender specific?[/quote]
As I said, I never gave my kids more than 3 swats with my hand so I didn't HAVE to treat them differently but I can see where some would, and maybe should. I punched my Da before. By rights I should have taken an ass whipping like my brother. That day I got mouth smacked because I also called him a bastard which obviously offended him far more than the punch. Da informed me later with a smirk on his face I had a mean right cross, but...
It wasn't anything he couldn't handle.
My brother however who did the same thing was 6 ft 4, and 250 pounds at 16. I seriously doubt a swat in the mouth would have phased the kid, although his punch about knocked my Da on his butt.
So.... lol
I was spanked as a kid, and let me tell you, it never taught me any lesson or respect. I was like; “Really, you're going to hit me as punishment? Yeah, just /try/ to tell me violence is wrong after that. It's on my butt so it doesn't count or something? Ok, I'll just hit people on the butt from now on. That's /not/ ok? Gee, go figure. Oh, now you're going to hit me as punishment for hitting someone? Explain how that makes sense, is ok, and /isn't/ hypocritical. Because you're an adult and I'm a child? You just taught your kid it's ok to hit people so long as you're bigger and stronger than them, way to go, /great/ parenting there. Don't talk back? Well, I guess I should've known you wouldn't be able to have a logical conversation about this, but it's kind of sad that you have to resort to telling a kid to shut up because they're smarter than you.”
Seriously, I said all that to my parents. Well, there was a lot more swearing in it when I said it back then, but I figured I'd keep that out when I posted this here. Them spanking me, and not being able to answer all those questions, actually made me lose significant amounts of respect for them.
Seriously, I said all that to my parents. Well, there was a lot more swearing in it when I said it back then, but I figured I'd keep that out when I posted this here. Them spanking me, and not being able to answer all those questions, actually made me lose significant amounts of respect for them.
johnrot said:i'd swat my son harder than i would my dog? is that wierd?
Honestly ? No I don't find it weird. My daughter and I were having somewhat of this same conversation last night. At 23 she still insisted on telling me I am more affectionate with animals than people. My response ?
" Animals don't make you feel like a piece of shit after you break body, bones, and brains over rocks to give them a better life than you had. "
Children are strangely under the assumption that they can say whatever they want to their parents, and parents feelings shouldn't be hurt. I never realized how hard of a time I gave my Da until I had kids of my own.
and trust me, I apologized profusely...
for years. lol
Honestly ? No I don't find it weird. My daughter and I were having somewhat of this same conversation last night. At 23 she still insisted on telling me I am more affectionate with animals than people. My response ?
" Animals don't make you feel like a piece of shit after you break body, bones, and brains over rocks to give them a better life than you had. "
Children are strangely under the assumption that they can say whatever they want to their parents, and parents feelings shouldn't be hurt. I never realized how hard of a time I gave my Da until I had kids of my own.
and trust me, I apologized profusely...
for years. lol
