How well do you coup with being critizied?

I do not mind people who criticize my poetry. It is a good excuse to have a banter. There is an art to a good banter and sadly many people avoid the chance to perfect this art.

Criticize away, I can't really handle the positive stuff though.
Never had it growing up and usually feel that it is pandering.
As far as the negative, no one can treat me as badly as I treat myself.

depends on the criticizer.  Friends and strangers, fine by me i like to no my flaws and work on the ones i don't want.  people i don't like can burn in hell, they make most of their shit up anyway.

No wind stays the sails; too much wind and the storm may sink the boat. Everything in moderation.

Beware of trolls and grammar groups, or should that be grammar groups and trolls?

Hmmm ... Lightbaron dropped some bombs in there, so, wonder how much was sarcasm & how much was Serious ???

Anyway, criticism is a funny thing, we all do it, but, rarely like it ... when it's done to us ....

Yeah, I hear plenty claiming, "It's all good, bring it !" ...
.... but, who REALLY can deal ???

.... Me, well, i'm aware that I may draw criticism for things I say, poetically, or, otherwise, but, as a man said at an event I used to frequent,

"Don't apologize for what you are about to say ..."

.... b'cos, if that's the case, you shouldn't of written it, or, more importantly, be saying it, well, same for claiming you want criticism & same for the critics ...

Come CORRECT.... with it, then, i'm cool with it, but, Haters & Liars BEWARE ... !!!

If you come with that pish, you'll get your feelings hurt ... !!!

Other than that .... Criticize away, i'd rather that than, no comment at all, now that's a criticism, all of it's own ...... and not an easy one to deal with when you share you creativity, hoping for someone to say, ANYTHING ....

As Lightbaron says, if it's shit, then say so,
Just .... Explain WHY you may have reached that opinion .....

Criticism is good when the intention of the person criticizing is TRULY to improve the person receiving it.
Some people cannot COPE with ANY criticism....so beware of these people ....if they lose it....
A true friend and a good person will give criticism in a way that does NOT leave you feeling lesser than....
Your gut will know the difference....

Criticism, constructive, positive, negative, and in between is an instantaneous window into the mind of the reader. Sometimes they give back to you exactly what you are seeing, what you intended, etc. Sometimes they show you everything positive, and/or negative you hadn't noticed, or maybe what they show you hadn't even crossed your mind to start with.

None of that is a bad thing, The only time it becomes bad is when it becomes personal. And someone telling you, you wrote a shit poem is not personal. Now if they were to tell you, you are a shit. THAT would be personal.

I write. I try to write to the best of my ability. Does that mean I am NOT capable of writing a big ole steamer ? Oh please ! lol

I have been known to drop that mess in truckloads. While I appreciate people telling me I did well, I also want to know what others think I did wrong. I want another set of eyes on my work. The reader matters to me in that way especially.

Now does that mean I am automatically required to do what they said ? NOPE ! But if I have decided that I don't want to take their advice, and the piece still fails. Got no one to blame but me right ? RIGHT !

So.... Those are a few thoughts to keep in mind when you think about critique, review and such. I suspect I will think of some more later. lol  

I was thinking about this thread last night. While I have some personal poems that I like for sentimental reasons, most of what I do is primarily about the writing. So yeah... I do get sentimentality.

But what I have noticed a lot of the time is a person's intense dislike for critique directly stems from some notion they have that this "purging of their soul" if you will has some direct correlation to art, and is therefore above reproach. Anyone else take notice of that ?

Another thing about critique is you often hear people say they want it, and then completely blow you off when you give them one. Like I said, the writer does not have to do what the critter says. The critter is simply giving an opinion. BUT ! To set down and give a truly proper critique can actually take days some times. Even some of the simple crits I have given on here has taken an hour, or more, and they were very basic.  That is MY time I have given up for you because I genuinely see something of significance in the piece.

As I have said before the reader/critter is one of the most valuable assets a writer can have. So to see a writer do that to a reader frankly that tends to piss me off. lol

Now as far as the "purging of the soul" ? I write primarily "confessional" genre poetry, so it is often my life I have on the paper there. So yeah I get something of you is in the piece. But these things are not children. They are writing, something constructed like a house. Do you build houses on wispy twigs of soul, thinking you are going to live forever in this little castle, safe from the elements, or do you build a monument with a solid foundation your grandchildren's children's children will know, and admire 100 years later ?

Personally I would rather have the family mansion, and since I don't know how to build a house Hopefully you get the point.

somelikeithot said:
A true friend and a good person will give criticism in a way that does NOT leave you feeling lesser than....
Your gut will know the difference....

Hmmmm Kitty ....

is this really what defines a ... "Good Person" ... ?

So ... does "Tough Love", come from BAD people ... ???

I think people, within themselves, need to be able to divorce themselves from commentary on, not just their art, but, what people say about them, in general convo' ...

Agreeing to Disagree is where i'm at these days ....

I do what I do, and if it makes you feel like using criticism to score points, then hey, that's your choice .... that doesn't make you good or bad, just human ....

Clearly, a lot of people do not follow their gut, which is where all the problems stem from .....

Friends prove themselves to be Acquaintances, rather than friends, when they are made to recognize their flaws, to me that's what true friends do, put you in your place when it's needed, as imperfections will become visible to the watcher/reader .... long before the individual/writer, sees them, invariably ....

Just some thoughts, as I've been seeing it in a few peeps, over the last couple of days ....

Good or bad, criticism helps me in a way to improve my writing. I analyze them and choose which ones would benefit me the most. That's why I prefer an honest critique at all times...

I started publishing my poems/articles in 2011 with Viewshound.com, now a defunct online publication and some established and professional writers there, helped me a lot in my trying years. I still have a lot of room for improvement as I could see it myself.

I'm glad to be part of this group as you continue to challenge and harness my faculties...Thanks to everyone!

Sorry Miss, I should have left an example, then perhaps my critique may not have played so much on you. I guess that's an example of bad critique but also try not be afraid to say " show me what you mean "

again, apologies

edit: having read the poem you published after the critique, I honestly feel you should take a look at how you look at a critique, on the two that you rant about, you chose to only take in the negative

my critique was thus:

Perhaps, Novel writer would be more apt. ..I jest

ok, its a bit of a read, but not hard to follow, you could perhaps say at least the same with a little less. I would suggest copying this oem into your drafts and re reading to see what, if anything you could strip or pare away, re-word etc, purely as an exorcise

check your first quote " ask no questions.."

I've never been a huge fan of reading massive poems, but having seen some of your work in the forums thought I'd come check you out.

no regrets here, a fine offering

so in essence there was one line of critique and the rest was praise, deserved.

so, I personally find your response a little harsh to say the least, perhaps Friendly feedback might save you some future heart ache or alternatively try reading the whole comment not just one line.  

I hate it if someone will tell me something is wrong with it but won't offer a better way, or explain why something in my poem doesn't work.  If you're going to critique then at least offer something for me to improve because I may have been having trouble with it to begin with.

I will admit, at first read of a critique my heart hurts, like I'm not good enough, but after the initial reaction, I take in their words and only get frustrated when they haven't offered advice on how to fix the poem.  Sometimes I changed it after it's been critiqued, sometimes not because sometimes it's exactly as I want while others I'll still post even when I feel it's lacking.  
Craic brings a good point as well saying to not be afraid to say, "show me what you mean."  

I do think it's a bit rude when someone marks honest critique but does not respond to your advice (never has happened to me before but I've seen it around).  

As for Grammar, I'm not perfect at it, but it does drive me nuts to see adults who can't use basic grammar.  It makes it difficult to read the poem (for me), and I can't read a poem in text speak as they call it.  Basic grammar and spelling was instilled in me in school.  No matter how good our paper was, if we didn't get the proper, "your, you're"  "There, their, and they're" or "two, too, and to" and so forth, we failed so it's incredibly difficult now to see it used incorrectly.  I want people to point out my grammatical mistakes, but I try to refrain from pointing someone else's out because I find they get 'snappy' about it or just don't care.  

I think I've only ever received one actual comment containing true criticism, despite the fact that I make it a point to request "honest criticism" for my writing. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not saying that as a testament to my skill. To the contrary, I hardly consider myself a poet, let alone a talented one, and that's why I appreciate criticism, especially in a place like this, where there is a wealth of truly talented poets. Criticism shows that the person actually dug into the poem and analyzed it instead of just skimming it and saying "That's nice, I like it." That's not to say I don't appreciate those comments too; they feel good, and honestly I rarely criticize poems because I don't have anything to say. I guess with more experience, more things will stand out. At the end of the day, whether someone is being genuine or just being a dick, it's based on their opinion (sans grammar issues) and your poem is your work of art.

Depending on how critical they are, I just don't care.
I mean sometimes I will ask for a person opinion but mostly Im just the type that could care less whether someone likes me or not.
I do however like to know a person's opinion about my work so that I can improve on my work.