Poetry competition CLOSED 10th May 2016 3:39pm
WINNER
snugglebuck
snugglebuck
RUNNERS-UP:
lepperochan
and Honeyadored
Very Punny
Pun'king
I ain't no poet
but iz don't kno'w'it
ma words ain't written
they're spat n spewed
equivocations
wid connotations
t'wat I...(pregnant pause)
waz born to do
Ma man Tom Foolery
flashes his toolery
his slapstick splinters
a tiny prick
egos massaged
N fancies tickled
limp dicks raise
...a lyrical lick
I is a punster
nowt but a funster
I ain't no poet
widda capital P
ma petit pois
is not pretentious
I don't even have
ma own pee-pee
Ma puuurring p
is a bit frisky
a bit wet
...behind da ears
......A cunning linguist
wid fancy tongue twists
flippant lyrics
dive off da tip
So ma wordplay
is wanted for'play
a two-faced Joker
a stud fa pok'er
a diamond geezer
wida heart ta please 'er
so raise ya stake
N go all in
Spreading rumour
N toilet humour
iz like ta take da piss
I waz born fa dis
extracting urine
bad rhymin' is ma crime
at dee end of da line
..............Snooooooort!
So don't ya pun'ish me
fa 'ma bad' punnery
I'm justa sar'caustic wit
Iz titillate n spit
so, when Iz punchin' lines
N ma words kinda rhyme
cud'ya just turn ya frown
maybe upside down? 69
So when Iz pound one owt
wid ma metre stick
bumbastic Jungle drums
N slappin' ma tom-toms
don't beat ma ass for it
chill n roll wid it
...bababababababoon!!!
Copyright © Honey Adored
I ain't no poet
but iz don't kno'w'it
ma words ain't written
they're spat n spewed
equivocations
wid connotations
t'wat I...(pregnant pause)
waz born to do
Ma man Tom Foolery
flashes his toolery
his slapstick splinters
a tiny prick
egos massaged
N fancies tickled
limp dicks raise
...a lyrical lick
I is a punster
nowt but a funster
I ain't no poet
widda capital P
ma petit pois
is not pretentious
I don't even have
ma own pee-pee
Ma puuurring p
is a bit frisky
a bit wet
...behind da ears
......A cunning linguist
wid fancy tongue twists
flippant lyrics
dive off da tip
So ma wordplay
is wanted for'play
a two-faced Joker
a stud fa pok'er
a diamond geezer
wida heart ta please 'er
so raise ya stake
N go all in
Spreading rumour
N toilet humour
iz like ta take da piss
I waz born fa dis
extracting urine
bad rhymin' is ma crime
at dee end of da line
..............Snooooooort!
So don't ya pun'ish me
fa 'ma bad' punnery
I'm justa sar'caustic wit
Iz titillate n spit
so, when Iz punchin' lines
N ma words kinda rhyme
cud'ya just turn ya frown
maybe upside down? 69
So when Iz pound one owt
wid ma metre stick
bumbastic Jungle drums
N slappin' ma tom-toms
don't beat ma ass for it
chill n roll wid it
...bababababababoon!!!
Copyright © Honey Adored
:3
Last week
we decided to get a kitten;
we had read
all the available LITTERature
the library had to offer
on the CATegory,
and thought we would be
the PURRfect pet owners.
As I was on my way
home today
he called me and said
he had CATastrophic news.
He said the kitten
must have gotten CLAWstorphobic,
because when
he got back to the apartment
all our FURRniture was in ribbons!
As I got out my keys he asked;
'Is that you I hear
in the hallway right MEOW?'
and I answered in the aFURRmative.
I hurriedly opened the door
and rushed into
the living room,
but all I found was an intact
sofa set,
and him sitting with the cat
purring on his knee.
I asked;
'How is this PAWsible?'
He laughed, saying;
'I was only KITTEN around!'
Last week
we decided to get a kitten;
we had read
all the available LITTERature
the library had to offer
on the CATegory,
and thought we would be
the PURRfect pet owners.
As I was on my way
home today
he called me and said
he had CATastrophic news.
He said the kitten
must have gotten CLAWstorphobic,
because when
he got back to the apartment
all our FURRniture was in ribbons!
As I got out my keys he asked;
'Is that you I hear
in the hallway right MEOW?'
and I answered in the aFURRmative.
I hurriedly opened the door
and rushed into
the living room,
but all I found was an intact
sofa set,
and him sitting with the cat
purring on his knee.
I asked;
'How is this PAWsible?'
He laughed, saying;
'I was only KITTEN around!'
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
the car was alarmed
until the cool night breeze
whispered a lullaby
It's Major von klinkerhoffin
to inspect zee privates
ivory Lee Dunnit:
big time do it doer
in the Kenyan tusk trade
done it again
and why not
said the staunch straight-rope
I dunno
said the more flexible one
until the cool night breeze
whispered a lullaby
It's Major von klinkerhoffin
to inspect zee privates
ivory Lee Dunnit:
big time do it doer
in the Kenyan tusk trade
done it again
and why not
said the staunch straight-rope
I dunno
said the more flexible one
if i told you all an answer the answer is a truth
don't doubt me in precetion if there you see the proof
conversations cutting edge to make it short and brief
i stole whatever chance the luck u never had
bad apple slice cut with my butter knife
the momentary life was long as my wind it always was
two wrongs don't make u write they make whats left dissolve or what was a little right
don't doubt me in precetion if there you see the proof
conversations cutting edge to make it short and brief
i stole whatever chance the luck u never had
bad apple slice cut with my butter knife
the momentary life was long as my wind it always was
two wrongs don't make u write they make whats left dissolve or what was a little right
