Bipolar Roller Coaster

TinaLouise said:Bipolar ? Me ? LoL Don't be silly!

Trapped on this ride of total malfunction
apparently I'm society's idea of
social dysfunction, Bipolar you say,
You reckon I'm bat shit crazy
Cray Cray ?

Have you no idea of my fame
I'm so talented beautiful and sexy
go on shout my name!
I'll take over the universe
I'm invincible
One thousand times replayed in my mind
follow me, no need to rehearse
I will lead mankind...

Oh that was yesterday, holy shit!
am I really crazy, No I don't believe it
I know they whisper and talk about me
You know what they say
She's bat shit crazy that one
Crackers, Cray Cray
They all hate me, I can't hide
I have to run away, I can't stay
on their ride of malfunction
not for one more empty day

I'll start to believe their lies of
my social dysfunction ha!
There's nothing wrong with me
that's why I'm un-medicated
you see, if I cry non-stop for a month
than large as life for the next three
Well Trendsetters,
that's just me being me!
No Tests, Yeah/No The rapists
I'm no sillybilly,
Bipolar ??
that doesn't sound like me
I'm moving to another town
Where no-one knows I'm crazy!


               Denial:  It ain't only a river in Africa!





Trapped on this ride of total malfunction
apparently I'm society's idea of
social dysfunction, Bipolar you say,
You reckon I'm bat shit crazy
Cray Cray ?

Have you no idea of my fame
I'm so talented beautiful and sexy
go on shout my name!
I'll take over the universe
I'm invincible
One thousand times replayed in my mind
follow me, no need to rehearse
I will lead mankind...

LMAO Tina!  Yup that's what they say
fuckin  wankers!
Well Said....
Good luck...

TinaLouise said:TINALOUISE NO BITCH IT'S GEORGE
(Written for Bipolar competition)

In my mates club dancing like a queen
rum chasing shots, E's, yeah I'm in the scene
music is my life, dance is my release
bitch starts glaring disturbing my inner peace
next thing I know it I'm on the floor
she'd run at me that bitch from before
then I was bounced right out the door
I stood outside waiting anticipating more
I was too drunk to stop George
with this biker whore
George stood in between both pubs
the cop shop on the corner Cooly central hub
On the pedestrian crossing  she came toward me
her hand out to shake I took it to precipitate
George snarled and the bitch swung
She was thrown to the ground with 6 knees to her head
George screaming "Don't fuck with me bitch, You're dead"
top ripped open my breast out for all to see
George didn't care about my privacy
she punched and kicked that biker whore
until the bouncers were screaming NO MORE!
Written by TinaLouise
Published 4th January 2016

IM FUCING CRYING OVER HERE!
Tina you are Hallirous!!!
This whole piece is so good!!!!!
u raised the bar Lady take a bow!
Good luck!

Zazzles said:

IM FUCING CRYING OVER HERE!
Tina you are Hallirous!!!
This whole piece is so good!!!!!
u raised the bar Lady take a bow!
Good luck!


He he! Thank You, I gotta stop telling the truth 😯

Beauty, Disgust

I am beautiful
I am an array of light
I am free-joy
I am the very color of gorgeous
I am a euphoric utopia
Embracing every captivating emotion-
Enlightening eager eyes
I am enormous empathy swelled and singing-
every perfect note!
I am putrid
The very raw sewage pillar of filth you loathe
I am moist maggot-mold wasteland
The grime-rust residue
Tainting all blood
I am a summer landfill of despair
Encouraging the dead-eyed dogs
Erupting a gag inducing death scent-
To green the eye of all mankind

the_good_guy said:Let me go and…and…
Go and do what?
Sit back down
I must be losing my mind
Let me see here
Check emails…
All good
Let me make some tea…
….
What am I doing in the kitchen?
I came for something but what?
Oh crap! Let me go sit down I might remember
Check emails some more…
Let’s play a game on my phone
I deserve a break
But let me go pee first…
…
Why am I in the middle of the corridor?
I’m supposed to go somewhere to do something but what?
F&%k this!
I’m getting on my nerves F&%k!
If I stand here long enough I must remember…
Come on!! Urgghh!!!
S*#t!!
Let me sit back down
TEA!
The last thing before the other thing was make tea…
Boil kettle
Rinse cup
Drop teabag
Stare at kettle…
….
What am I staring at the kettle for?
Shouldn’t I be working before I fall behind?
Back to the screen
Check emails…
GAME!
I’m supposed to be playing a game on  my phone
But something is missing from my desk
I’m supposed to have brought something back
F&%k S*#t MotherF&%ing!!!
What the F&%k is wrong with me
I’m losing my F&%ing mind S*#t F&%k a2@
B^$#h F^*()& A%$^&
I can’t take this
I hate myself
Kill me
Kill me
(Kettle pops at the same time that I wet my pants slightly)


haaaaa,,,this was sick!!!
had my mind goin back n forth...
..and the ending...ha
damn this was good

This Bi - Polar Love Affair

This Bi - Polar Love Affair
You know, it has it’s highs and lows…        
Much more drastic than most…        

I love you, NO! I HATE YOU,          
All in the same day…        
There’s not a drug that will          
ever make it clear..        

Go away,          
NO! COME HERE…        
Hug me,          
NO! DON‘T TOUCH ME…        
I waited all day for you to get here,          
NO! I WISH YOU WOULD JUST LEAVE…        
Talk to me,          
NO! SHUT UP…        
Kiss me,          
NO! DON’T….        

This Bi-Polar love affair, is an emotional          
roller coaster that has got me more          
than fucked up~!!!

This is an old one...

Confessional

I paint a picture with blood
I always do
But now, this is real
Is mine
Is me

I gut myself
For poems filled with my black insides
Some tinges of yellow
Of white
Of red
For you to see

I flash smiles
To the cameras, their eyes
The smiles that are true
Are not
Those I'm not sure of

I stay at my corner
I do not move
I do not see anything
I am alone
But in my mind
I am plagued by monsters
By demons
Made for me
By me

They get mad
I never do anything, they say
Slowly getting useless
With fancy pills

They'll never know the bitter taste
Of the pill
Of the fact that I have to take it
They'll never know the feeling
Of a pill stuck in your throat
Choking you
Like everything else

And I write
I write
I write truths
Wishes
Some lies
I write heart

The same thing
Again

I am open
I confess
Like the ones before me
The ones they warned me about
They wrote to death
They wrote their death
Sylvia, Mad Anne...
They fear I'll do the same

Dr. L
(She's my therapist)
She warned me
About something I already know
In me
Is something self-destructive
Pain craving
Death wishing
Sex starving!
Something I have to tame
And lock away

See, our dog bit me
I cried not for pain
More for shock
My brother's girlfriend held my hand
(I am the perpetual third-wheel)
Under the flow of water

A few minutes
And I felt the sick, sick, pleasure
Alcohol to disinfect
I do not hurt anymore
I wanted it
Well, except for the fear of rabies

So sharp things became my love-hate friends
Shiny promises inviting
Not romantic
If this be the only romance I'd have
How lucky am I?

I seem so close for you to reach me
Inside,
Parts of me are light years away
Blackholes and crashing
Destructive explosions
A little bit
A little more
The end
A big-bang for good.

Written by thepositivelydark
Published 22nd April 2015 9:47pm

Little Girl Lost

Little girl lost,
Where have you been?
Little girl lost,
Where are you going?

Everybody’s wondering
You’ve been gone for so long
You say you saw demons and monsters
They only see in dreams

You say you flirted with death
Exchanged your breath
For a little bit of respite
Because hell is one hell of a life

They danced around you
Like you’re surrounded by broken glass
Then one said, “I’ve been there, too, I know what to do”
You say you thought, “Fuck you, little lass.
No need to be an ass
But you had to go there, didn’t you?
Say that I’m just ungrateful and teenage blue.”

No one saw your cocktail of happy and calm-the-shit-down pills
Midnight soda spills...
Just for a shot of caffeine
You say fuck the rules, fuck the pain.

Little girl lost, we miss you.
You aren’t coming back, are you?
They say you’ve got a new normal
Where everyone thinks you’re abnormal

Little girl lost, they’ve no right to judge you
They haven’t seen what you’ve seen.
They’ve no right to belittle you.
They haven’t been where you’ve been.

And I know the truth
Though you've set your roots
Underground
Little girl lost, you just want to be found

Written by thepositivelydark
Published 5th November 2014 8:07pm

Polar shift

I saw him again on Tuesday
wondered where his mind had gone
and why his words were drawn in:
bridge over murky moat

[take note: access denied, turn back]

he said

"the word you seek is scoundrel.
and how dare you presume to label me
I ought to break you"

then he sat down for two days
watched dots on the tv
and let no light through the curtains

on the third day he rose again

like a prisoner who'd had a visitor
kiss the universe to him

bolted up the stairs and back down again
declared his love for strawberry cupcakes
then made tea for both of us
in one cup

said he'd left his girl to drown
in the murky moat around his castle
and hoped she'd learned to swim
because he'd rather not
have to fish another body out

Bipolarity hilarity



Bi
   polarity

Such hilarity

Mayhap, what disconcerts most
(me not you)
           is how I'm unaware
            how I just don't know
Oh! Here we go-go-go!



I'm up for hours and hours
        Creating
            Yes, masturbating
                     mentally and physically
I dare not leave right now, go out, engage with others
     My fervorfeverenthusiasmexcitementglee
    for life and learning and you and me and well, nearly everything
    allures and Overwhelms
              (I'm told)
when it charms and pulls one in

          Conversely...

I'm annoying,
                cloying,
                      thoroughly destroying conversational interaction
        I monopolize
                       Breathlessly
                                     declaiming
Sometimes fascinating
Otherwise stultifying (I'm quite sure)


I've been told my shifts can be rather subtle and not easily identifiable because of what I manage, at times, to accomplish (improbabilities?)
                        Heh
                              Meh
           


Ahhh now
          Here's the witches brew:
How long one way, how long another entirely? Who knows...



Today, I'm melancholy
             No, let's be quite honest here
          Depressed
                     Distressed
                Oppressed (by my mind)
  Morose
                                 Lugubrious
  Sunk in despair and desolation
Convinced beyond all reason of how I do not deserve to even
                                 breathe the air
                       have sun shine on my body
              takeupspacewithinthisworld



But, then (thank all the atoms in the atmosphere!), I'm me again

                       Just me

Neither superwoman nor the dregs of my mind's conjuring

                       Just me

Not capable of creating and recreating the world

                      Just me

Not unworthy of inhabiting the space I'm in

                      Just me

Sleeping once again at night and imbued with some semblance of peace  

(okay, and stress ~ what's life as a single parent without that, after all?)

Not consumed by grandiose vision nor destroyed by consummate oblivion

                         Just
                          Me
                    Once
                             Again



Yet, would I relinquish all these aspects of myself?


Would relinquishment mean diminishment?


       These are not easy questions; the answers even less so.


With surcease may come certain release, but will it be nonfeasance ultimately?


         Sooooo...
Treat the depression, leave the other be.


Though...
           mayhap,
                       we'll have to see...

                         

Savaja said:Bipolarity hilarity



Bi
   polarity

Such hilarity

Mayhap, what disconcerts most
(me not you)
           is how I'm unaware
            how I just don't know
Oh! Here we go-go-go!



I'm up for hours and hours
        Creating
            Yes, masturbating
                     mentally and physically
I dare not leave right now, go out, engage with others
     My fervorfeverenthusiasmexcitementglee
    for life and learning and you and me and well, nearly everything
    allures and Overwhelms
              (I'm told)
when it charms and pulls one in

          Conversely...

I'm annoying,
                cloying,
                      thoroughly destroying conversational interaction
        I monopolize
                       Breathlessly
                                     declaiming
Sometimes fascinating
Otherwise stultifying (I'm quite sure)


I've been told my shifts can be rather subtle and not easily identifiable because of what I manage, at times, to accomplish (improbabilities?)
                        Heh
                              Meh
           


Ahhh now
          Here's the witches brew:
How long one way, how long another entirely? Who knows...



Today, I'm melancholy
             No, let's be quite honest here
          Depressed
                     Distressed
                Oppressed (by my mind)
  Morose
                                 Lugubrious
  Sunk in despair and desolation
Convinced beyond all reason of how I do not deserve to even
                                 breathe the air
                       have sun shine on my body
              takeupspacewithinthisworld



But, then (thank all the atoms in the atmosphere!), I'm me again

                       Just me

Neither superwoman nor the dregs of my mind's conjuring

                       Just me

Not capable of creating and recreating the world

                      Just me

Not unworthy of inhabiting the space I'm in

                      Just me

Sleeping once again at night and imbued with some semblance of peace  

(okay, and stress ~ what's life as a single parent without that, after all?)

Not consumed by grandiose vision nor destroyed by consummate oblivion

                         Just
                          Me
                    Once
                             Again



Yet, would I relinquish all these aspects of myself?


Would relinquishment mean diminishment?


       These are not easy questions; the answers even less so.


With surcease may come certain release, but will it be nonfeasance ultimately?


         Sooooo...
Treat the depression, leave the other be.


Though...
           mayhap,
                       we'll have to see...

                         



quite an angle you conjured here Savaja
speaking from within the nexus [just you]
of your bipolarity..


Neither superwoman nor the dregs of my mind's conjuring

                      Just me

that speaks !!
thoroughly enjoyed this vibe

lepperochan said:Polar shift

I saw him again on Tuesday
wondered where his mind had gone
and why his words were drawn in:
bridge over murky moat

[take note: access denied, turn back]

he said

"the word you seek is scoundrel.
and how dare you presume to label me
I ought to break you"

then he sat down for two days
watched dots on the tv
and let no light through the curtains

on the third day he rose again

like a prisoner who'd had a visitor
kiss the universe to him

bolted up the stairs and back down again
declared his love for strawberry cupcakes
then made tea for both of us
in one cup

said he'd left his girl to drown
in the murky moat around his castle
and hoped she'd learned to swim
because he'd rather not
have to fish another body out


oh this vibe is beautifully twisted!!

"bolted up the stairs and back down again
declared his love for strawberry cupcakes
then made tea for both of us
in one cup"

hahaa..
sick i tell ya!

Yesterday Was A Week  Long
This is a piece for the Bipolar Roller Coaster competition

Yesterday
I thought it was yesterday but I guess I was wrong
I’m told that for the first three days I had paced the floor
Back and forth mumbling to myself and stopping in place to stare
And lacking any money I had gone out to pace the streets instead
Causing quite a stir within the little group that still cares somehow
Somehow I had ended up yelling at a cop and he gave me the walk away or spend the night at my house speech
I spent the night and paced those floors until I drove my new roomies nuts and got into a fight
Now I’m up on charges and I have no idea why.
I want to die but I want to live
I’m told a lot of things but all I really want to do is sleep and not dream
They keep me up instead and give me hell for being me
I wonder if they realize that
Finally I fall into a sleep full of dreams of dying and they make me happy
I could dream this a thousand years and may just do that
I know that somehow something is wrong when I wake up and a week has passed and my best friend comes to say he can’t take any more and is moving out
I ask why and he goggles at me like I’m crazy
Doesn’t he know?
I am
Today
I am me, as much of me as is left and I sit in sad confusion at the passing of time
With no memory but snippets
It’s always this way
I want to die but I want to live
Can you understand that?
I wish that I could
Sadness washes over me at my plight but I swallow it down
What use sadness?
And happiness is worse
I want to die but I want to live
Written by thinlane
Published 4th February 2016 2:03pm

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