Alcholic or Drug Addict

express how you feel being an alcoholic, drug addict or both

can be negative or positive

new or old writes

up to two entries

dig deep sincerely Crimsin

Example

Oceans Of Whiskey

Today the whiskey dried up  
fuck I feel so dry inside  
drinking beers to fill me  
 
pissing every twenty minutes  
without getting off all filler  
no climax  
 
it didn't take me to that place of magic  
where my brain is turned to mush  
forgetting for a moment the death march i'm on  
 
on a good whiskey day I get pissed  
three sheets to the wind  
crawling to my room  
 
where I fall off the bed in the middle of the night  
unlucky I didn't bash my skull and end it all  
the pied piper calling to me  
 
drink, swill get lost in another world  
one where i'm not socially inept  
a place where things make sense  
 
somewhere I can forget  
the pain that fillets my innards  
tears at my being  
 
I wake in the morning and sneak a drink  
trying so hard to hide the fact that i'm drunk by ten am  
slurring my words no one is fooled  
 
the truth is I love being a drunk  
it makes me feel alive  
even with a slow death breathing down my neck  
 
bottoms up, cheers and all that  
today was a bad day  
no oceans of whiskey to get lost in  
 
i've never felt so empty  

Vermilion

I once fell in love with a girl
who had bright red hair.

I knew I loved her
the day that we lay
in front of the fire,
earthed in a bottle
of Merlot
and she twisted
those scarlet strands
through my fingers
without a care in the world.

I could write the poetry
of her rivers for eternity;
how they flowed from soft peaks
into the deep pools of her waist,
an unending abundance of orbits
that stung my lips with stardust
in the glory of her light

and there was red
in my veins,
in my glass,
my heart.

Drinking can only be compared
to her pagan-flamed curls:
how for a second I'll lie there
with a glass in my hand
and the world exploding
outside my window,
and it simply will not matter to me
right now, trapped in this room
with the only parachute I'll ever need

and there will never be
a more perfect moment
than when I'm embracing it
like a gentle lover
I once kissed in secret,
a slow burn
in the hollow of my throat
taking me back to the fire,
that place of rounded caress.

Drinking is a love affair;
a marriage of dark minds.

It's never the accidental whore,
but one I have observed closely
over time, when nobody watches me
watching her phial curves
in the hope of something beautiful.

It's all that I
have come to believe about women,
as it slips it's underwear
into your pocket,
and kisses the back of your neck
for one last high.

thank you Missy for a fantastic and beautiful entry

Surrender

Comfort feels alien

I am lost from that place

I hold my heart

But not in body

My thoughts spin into space

I cry God

Sing him loud

Beg lift this addiction

My obsession of more

Find living breathe like a breeze

Give him my self will

And all fear

Soon i know i find peace

thank you Jennifer for an uplifting entry :)

Ambien said it.

http://s22.postimg.org/bjsg8p26p/Untitled_2.jpg

Hello, my name if nobody,
Hello nobody we are happy to see you.
I'm happy to be here and to share,
My experiences about drugs,

I do ambien.

Everybody laughs.

Have you felt about ambien,
ambien, ambien, ambien.

Do you know what it is like
To be under it, it, it, it.

Give you 2 shit so you can figure out a nothing of it.

lying down alone on my bed,
No memories left.

It is time for breakfast,
Eating pills and more pills,

Once dead I will have to stop them.

They say do not take it longer than one month,
One year is addiction.

I am taking them over 8 years.

All drugs can be quitted,
But when you got something more bad,

It is hard to quit them.

My mind is a mess everyday,
I cannot handle a job,

But they said it is a medication, will make you feel better.

Then explain me why did i fuck my life like that
I cannot sleep without them,

I can't take a piss without them.

Ambien, alchool, xanax, other junks,
In my mix makes me feel a loser.

Wanna know more about this junk,

Doctor gives you them to make more money,
They take an extra for selling them,

They care nothing if is not needed.

I have too much to say,
But who cares.

Tomorrow i wont remember about this anyway.

And this shit, i used to write good poems,
Now i feel like did i really wrote that.

Better to die than living in this shit.

http://s9.postimg.org/x00iqw7m7/Untitled_4.jpg

My Drug Is Not A Substance

I take another hit
feel you beneath my lips
take you between my hips
lose myself in bliss

Poisoned by your kiss
enthralled by fingertips
thrust from treacherous cliffs
into immutable abyss

All else has been eclipsed
heart weighed down with grit
impossible to admit
without you I can't exist

Wake up and feel like shit
how did it come to this?
Why can I never resist?
Forever in your grip

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/214441-my-drug-is-not-a-substance/

thank you Ironfear and Harliequin for great entries :)

Nicley written

SELF KNOWLEDGE
I hate myself
I want him dead
"But you can't kill me" once he said,

"cause if you do
you'll be dead too
and no one is going to cry for you".

Get to know to yourself better
you're about to enter a shelter
Learn your fucking list of traits
change yourself your life awaits.

Traits you should embrace and hold
Traits you should erase as told
Traits you should change a bit
for you in society to fit.

Well, I,
with my conscious with sense
with this confession as a defense
admit how horrible I am
so stupid, irresponsible and dumb.

I have lost fourteen years
I've cried with fake and real tears
I've sold my soul I've given up
And still I sense an inner gap.

What should I do? Must I pray?
I am three hundred miles away
Away from home away from sin
I don't think that running away means win
cause someday you may go back
so measure then your strength and luck..

How the hell did I get here? I can say..

there are certain rules a kid has to obey..

My indifferent folks, my low self esteem
the fact that I wanted to be a part of a fuckin' team
To face reality my mom drunk gallons of white wine
She used to ask me "are you ok?"
I was always saying "I'm fine."

I wish I could say we lived happily ever after
but a 25% alc./vol bottle had been her only daughter.

I didn't care until I saw her whittled coffin
The second funeral in my life,

about the first.. I don't like talking
I'll tell you what, then people labeled me as a widow
black dressed and pale looking out of my rehab wide window.

I tried to change but I was terrified by me silver
the sickness was just in my head,

but I was burned by a real fever.

I thought I'd be fine but I've been hiding behind of..my finger
If I hah had a revolver back then,

I would had pulled the trigger.

I started writing words inspired by a guitar
as I was running on a highway,

three dudes, me and their car.

I am so sick of this life
I wish for a different way of living
never to think of fucking dust
or my sight like knife on the ceiling

I have a feeling
I have to find my final destination
It isn't death
It isn't cash
It isn't recognition.

I realized that I had found a soulmate in a crazy island
We couldn't stop speaking even when we were silent
I don't know why but I felt like I'd been knowing him for years
We both have fought ourselves while facing our tremendous fears.

FUCKING DUST
It's day one, I need some sleep, my body is exhausted    
Day two, a sudden wake from my breasts that are roasted    
I say, that's the start, just look inside for strength    
After a while I'm praying to be visited by death    
And I say insults to God because he made me suffer    
I'm throwing up gall, I need a fucking dipper    
The night seems as long as a week, I'm looking for a gun    
Once I'm cold but afterwards I'm turning on the fan    
It's day three, I feel like the unluckiest guy ever    
there is no medicine that can take away this fever    
Except from one, a dark angel's fucking ocher dust    
You fuckin' hate it, don't wanna flinch but you must    
And if an opportunity comes up,you surely will    
but that's a personal mistake you can't ever forgive    
At day four you feel a bit better but still depressed    
You push yourself to wash your face and get dressed    
So you go wander on the streets, waiting for a favor    
to breath a sigh of relief, to take away the tremor    
Devil makes sure you'll have your change to bend    
A fake grace for a week or so, and here we go again

I hope two entries are allowed..

It's not just a needle
It's not just a pen
The ink that seeps inside my skin
Is my only bestfriend

I know it's only one
On a canvas made for more
I'm addicted to tattoos
Violence and gore

It's not just a line
It defines who I am
It helps me decide if Im a man or woman

It's not just a high
It's not just a feeling
It's what separates my body
From my emotions and feelings

It's not just another shot into my neck
It's not just a drug to me
It's respect.

thank you Personanongrata and Alek for great entries..

yes two entries is fine :)