Poetry competition CLOSED 29th April 2015 4:22pm
WINNER
Sentinel (Maggie Santos)
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Rap Sensibly

poet Anonymous

PsycoticMastermind said:[quote-298717-Peter_Pan]
I thought I was poking fun at myself. Maybe it's not making sense to do so??

bah. I'll go dig a peanut butter waffle maze instead.


Please be careful while you are mining that you don't get smacked in the head with a Waffle Bat.[/quote]

Please be kind to the ones who come to entertain you with their self-effacing. That statement above (with its "mining" connotation) could be interpreted as an insult. And sarcasm, as you seem to ASK for self-deprecation poems, then advise someone not to hurt himself while enjoying his own.


PsycoticMastermind
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 20th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 209

HollyDove said:
Please be kind to the ones who come to entertain you with their self-effacing. That statement above (with its "mining" connotation) could be interpreted as an insult. And sarcasm, as you seem to ASK for self-deprecation poems, then advise someone not to hurt himself while enjoying his own.


It was just friendly advice for those who go excavating without OSHA approved protective gear like hard hats.  Low flying Waffle Bats tend to leave a mark.

poet Anonymous

Peter_Pan said:[quote-298716-PsycoticMastermind]Godkill and Peter Pan, thank you for your entries thus far.

Should you care to submit more entries ( as many as you care to ), keep the parameters of the challenge in mind.
[quote-298253-PsycoticMastermind]The Rules

4) to poke fun at your own expense

[/quote]

I thought I was poking fun at myself. Maybe it's not making sense to do so??

bah. I'll go dig a peanut butter waffle maze instead.[/quote]

I meant I was going to dig into a tasty waffle for breakfast. The squares on it look like a maze, and much easier to enjoy than some mental mazes.

Eat more waffle cones. With good stuff in them.

I'm soooo misunderstood. Oh well.  

dustyjjewels
Fire of Insight
Nigeria 15awards
Joined 24th Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 241

Initially I wanted to look on in silence
But I couldn't take my eyes of the xenophobic violence
Shopkeepers looted and maimed
Mothers and babies slayed

In cold blood
So much pain and shame on the African world
Can't hold back the tears falling from my eyes
As the smoke from a burning body rise

To the heavens I slay with rhymes
Vengeance is for God but I must address this crime
With a flaming mic in hand
Hit 'em with a force they can't withstand

A timid ruler in animal skin
Gets wrapped up in my lyrical scheme
Hip hop justice
Now the street will love this

Next time you run your mouth
Know there's a killer that can clear all your doubts
Murder technique
Pure and unique

New branch from the vine
Out for justice and feeling divine
Probing secret places
Looking out for xenophobic faces

You ungrateful lazy faggots
Be prepared to meet the maggots
For all the blood you've spilled around
I'll be sending you six feet below the ground

With a message to your maker
Tell him you got struck by another Earth Shaker
Money taker
With a PH.d in drilling player haters

As my track comes alive on your deck
You suffocate like a noose was around your neck
Put all Zulus on the run
Including the dumb President's son

Who now benefits from the continental struggle
In the days of the Apartheid troubles
Where Africa came together
To save you from the yoke of your master

Now you think you're better off
You think you're so smart and tough
Better go back to your history
Why I come against you is no mystery

You've crossed your boundary
It's called trespassing
Say your last skinny prayer
Before your whole team comes crashing



kriticool
Fire of Insight
32awards
Joined 1st Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 596




.:Flat Scream TV’s:.


within clusters of assorted cliques
eyes sit viewing mirth & mayhem
citizens sit cracking up
stacked up inside old-new houses
the kind which have too many cracks
too many clowned citizens; cliques of denizens
leaving off any & all critical critique; video freaks
our minds desperately out-spun by the spin of wiki-leaks
please note this is a re-registering of frightening facts
family foundation, the proof of what lacks
false stacks; weak cash, bad credit
how do we let it? Oh yes, it’s for their interest
where flat screaming TV’s throw curves
placing us in The DEEP; spawning the
latest gimmick

it’s systemic, not so much the technology
but the pathology of each 3-D broadcast
how it happens so fast; the news, the views
the setup;  setting us up on the same level as product placement
placed & plugged-in within a newly finished basement
the escape for us - down under with Lowe’s, Home Depot, Ikea -
guaranteeing to see us through where
what’s retro has never really been you - or us
yes its still the same view - on us
attempting to stay new, endeavoring to
re-mind ourselves of what’s-up
what those scenes of Black-ish really meant
what they mean - time to come clean
this in regards to the time we’ve spent
paid for with our family’s unresolved pain
fantasy seeking capital gain

these are still those times
the times of hourly over-interest-incurred
the type not [saved-buy]  a dream deferred
no, it’s been more like blurred
tell us what’s truly been heard
have we been burned
those wretched scenes of
unremarkable
remarks
this as the Showtime
as it continues to park
in the dark, stealing away invaluable family time
families timed, then turned-out like old Bill
tell us what’s the deal?

like what’s the
real ramifications of a Huxtable
a character once formidable
now degraded, almost faded; that
next to the last cut and
how many have aided; now
imagining those unseen-scenes of Cliff
off-the-cliff, him all but pictured dropping mollies
placing them deep inside; deep within the
throat of Olivia Pope’s mouth
this while other
play-acting-Empire builders
them mouthing off how Rudy and Roscoe
how they’ve certainly grown
this is the TV time where we.. I-Spy alone
the bullshit don’t quit and it’s still “bad to the bone”
as each house of lies hosts
crap to atone

poet Anonymous

It was just another day
Then your bright eyes came to stay
Left me with this to say...
I stand here in complete admiration
You're damn miracle of creation
All that shit, yet the only one who can process my information
You made me feel so young again
From a child I saw you as my friend
there was knowledge in your eyes
no disguise
The brightest light
to shine on the darkest of nights
Your future behold
You have an ancient soul of old
Everything that you
My sweetie, have been through
You see it crystal clear
I'm amazed how you conquer fear
Getting drunk and stoned
That night was owed
To you, to me
Feeling so fucking free
Wings stretched wide
In each-other confide
I hope I left you with my feather
Use it when in darkened weather
You left me with a smile etched in my spirit
Not solitary messages, I know you hear it
Warrior take your stand
I offer my weary hand
Take your place as child of tomorrow
Reform your rage and sorrow
Blessed child of the stars
One to speak up and end these wars
Wisdom flows from your being
The blind witness and will start seeing
Believing
Succeeding
Human race always changes
Fucking rearranges
Keeping up and keeping track
Never forget that I have your back
You looked death straight in the eye
Now time to receive the answers why
Never give in, try hunni try
I have faith in what you represent
From the Mother you have been sent
To save
This sick Mexican wave
To return
To the beginning of which we learn
Child no longer
Bolder
Stronger
Now a man I see
This true nature has been shown to me
You're everything I believe you to be
Set us free
No pressure, simply words I speak to you
Your destiny's message is getting through
I loved chilling and getting on it
Reminiscing and shit
Picking lyrics to spit
I fucking love you man
Glad you're in my clan
When you were laying like the dead
I stroked your swollen head
And lay my crystals on your bed
I had chanted for hours
In my circle they were charged with powers
I warned the doctors not to move them
I needed you back again
My friend
The wise child's time to leave is not now
Impossible they said, but I said how
I knew you were meant
Goddess sent
I remember falling to my knees
Begging to be told please
Why you were suffering this disease
Every great person
For certain
In history
Started with a mystery
Yours will unravel before their eyes
To me it will come as no surprise
This is the dawn of our revolution
The few like us will spread the solution
You always knew the truth
Hidden messages in your youth
Now making sense
Young man build your defence
Every tunnel you walk through
Remember those who are with you
Together with pride
The masses to guide
Welcome to your destiny
You are the person that you see
My friend, my enlightened company
Set us free.

PsycoticMastermind
Thought Provoker
United States 2awards
Joined 20th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 209

I see we have more entries. I was beginning to worry that all the rappers were on vacation. How splendid. I look forward to reading all these soon.

For anyone who hasn't already, there is less than a week to participate. Tick Tock. And remember to adhere to the rules: it must be a rap, it must have rhyme and it must be fun at your own expense.

kriticool
Fire of Insight
32awards
Joined 1st Nov 2011
Forum Posts: 596

PsycoticMastermind said:...remember to adhere to the rules: it must be a rap, it must have rhyme and it must be fun at your own expense.

Not sure if my entry fits the rules as stated. Think i got the rhyme part, not sure about the rap. Matter of interpretation?
The expense? For me I'd say is cost effective.. the fun part was/is as serious as I can afford to be. Lemme kno either way.  Sensibly.

Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
2awards
Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 156

This Is Philadelphia

Do you want all those dudes hangin' in front of ya momma's crib?
Keep yo' churrin off the streets and away from where the big boys fib
I'm the king of hardcore and deserve a whole lot of respect
My girls got a badonkadonk butt, it's so ballerific, it's what I expect
I told her to stay the hell away from my precious new hooptie
She tried to give me the third, but I just waved the no finger and popped her booty

Pimpin' aren't easy man, it's just that I've got that pimp juice, all the girls be wanting
Art lovin' Landis, was the best damn scratcher & foolin' all the museum high pillows
The women from the hood, come work for me, b'coz they're all the ghettos widows
The jury couldn't charge him, but the so called art experts keep up their taunting
Some have so much ice on their hands, I could do a figure eight on my skates
If he would only paint his own, he would truly be one of this centuries greats

They told me if I don't pay, they're gonna pop a cap in my ass
Man, I am ass out this month. I ain't got no kinda funds, I be on the nut, like glass
These streets are crazy out here, it's just the way, it's the nature of the street
While the popos and bulls are dancin' like great white sharks
Barbering to us and cuttin' us no slack, be real with me son, damn narcs
But we don't like to look like a punk in front of our boys, that'll be defeat

Their killing cats for real, all over the hood, where they don't belong
Damn your pimp juice, your game is too strong
He's the drug lord out here, the big boss dog
The rest of his crew are little more than corner boys
We are the ultimate big tymers, me and my son, cruisin' in da fog
My boo be real and we be ballin-outta control with our toys

The cars windows were so dark, I could've got shot by a gun
All the backstreet junkies now payin' for the big guns on the run
We just heard Boom Boom Boom, we know not to bother
Is he a relative? Yeah man, it's her dead brother
We don't see anything, it's the hoods mentality
Everybody's a curb side lawyer, but when we go to court, we lose that ability

Man, that chickenhead was booey, I want my 50 bucks back
Chickenheads will always be on the prowl for some easy berry stack
A thug is a way of life, made bad choices, now tryin' to survive
This is Philadelphia, where we won't & don't shake hands to the jive
Last year we were known as Killadelphia
So go home, breeze and call it a night, no fear.

poet Anonymous

Hell no I ain't no rapper. But I do know how to make fun of myself. (True story):




WHOOMP!


Feeling like park pigeon poop,
eyeing young boys shooting hoops

hoping with my teeth clenched
they gonna shake loose some whoops

Ice cream running down my boops
nipple rubes wet now erect
No one gonna notice though
When I’m slumpin low in my Silver Echo

Boys wanna Basket Ball
Basket Case wanna crawl
Yeah, my basket wants a ball
Throw me in a loop
Bawahaha bangitdanghard
Double dribble doggy diggy
and whump jump bad boogie


Dunkin Sam he slam dunk man
and damn if he ain’t drunk.
Sink one for this crazee bitch
who’s watchin every hunk
and hopin soon a saggy britch
is gonna slip the junk.


Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
2awards
Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 156

CRAZEE MUDDA FUCKA


Plastic smiles are always the worst
They're just the slightest bit off at first
They make your creep senses start to tingle and make a sensation
She said, I give off a creepy sort of vibe
I said, that's an odd way to start a conversation


I just ate popcorn and watched girls play volleyball
Then got made fun of for being such a creep
But I told them I was only sitting here all by myself
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep


Mention your red Ferrari, that'll get the panties dropping faster
One can be a creep and still get to enjoy the role of being master
I told a girl at her 18th birthday party, that I wanted to eat that cake off her ass
Then I had to tell the entire party, that I had to hurry back to class
to practice going hands solo coming and going while flashing my special hall pass
I asked if ya wanna take a ride home with me in my squeaky cruising van?
Truly a mystery why anyone would call me a little bit creepy, damn


But I told them I was not here all by myself
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep


I tried to start an orgy once or twice, on a bus full of giggling cheerleaders
while on the way back from our schools annual college basketball bout
Tried but failed at having sex with everyone on that bus, at least I was game
Even did a strip tease for everyone and I even tried to make out
They didn't wanna make out but they liked my strip tease of fame


But I told them I was not here by myself
That's probably why I'm three times more creepier than the ordinary solo creep


Now I feel like a junior high football jock
waiting for the nod, so I can stop doing it into a sock
Why get a girlfriend when I can just masturbate with porn?
Fuck, dude. Just call a hooker up already and get that out the way
We all make fools of ourselves sometimes, ok for me everyday


But I told them I was never there by myself
That's why I'm so much more creepier than any other so, so, crazee mudda fucka.




Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
2awards
Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 156

Charles Dickens

A dope gangsta is when he can slang dime sacks everyday of the week
While his honey-dip struts her stuff, making sure she's at her absolute peak
If I get caught I'll spend some more time at the central booking house
Hopefully my homie will stick to his alibi, that's if he's able to use all of his nous

You've got a head you can't think with
An eye you can't see with
Balls you can't play with
Your neighbours an asshole
And your best friend is a total pussy

My bitch loves to slip my Charles Dickens into her wet and shaved vertical smile
It's always a different position every night and she always makes a smile on my dial
She don't ever scream when I slide it into her chocolate starfish, takes one for the team
You just wish ya momma was like mine and didn't mind ya licking her dish, so clean

You've got a head you can't think with
An eye you can't see with
Balls you can't play with
Your neighbours an asshole
And your best friend is a total pussy

Back home where every man is a potential enemy, every woman a potential hoe
There is not one hip hop star today who has original street cred, you know
They're not street, they're just five star suite, sleeping with girls who have hot figures
At least I've walked the walk and everybody knows I ride for my pot smokin' niggas

You've got a head you can't think with
An eye you can't see with
Balls you can't play with
Your neighbours an asshole
And your best friend is a total pussy

Fetchitnow
Thought Provoker
2awards
Joined 20th Apr 2015
Forum Posts: 156

Oops! Did I say That Out Loud? -

Bling Bang Boom
Tight little itty-bitty booty
If it don't fit, don't force it
You can lubricate it, so you can appreciate it

Oops, did I say that out loud?
Wearing Dr Dre is a bitch when you make a glitch

Suck this gun like a cool chick
It's barrel isn't that hot or that thick
And when it comes, blow your brains while still in cuffs
Elvis offended while doing those pelvic thrusts
But he was merely having fun and being so gyrating futuristic
While your parents were secretly playing with vibrating plastic

I used to call myself at that time, "The Magnificent One"
Hell, I don't call myself that now, but I still believe it to be true
At the time, the frigid white kids would only spectate from the balcony
With the horny white kinds leaping over with jealous gallantry to get downstairs
Because that's where the black dudes were always performing their sexual affairs

Bling Bang Boom
Tight little itty-bitty booty
Protect yourself with a little soap bubble
If you want help, I can go pop, without getting into too much trouble

Oops, did I say that out loud?
Wearing Dr Dre can mean defeat when others hear your beat

How can I put down the creeps when I've been creeping from afar?
I'm another mother fuckin' world pop star
They called me a Hip-Hop Bipolar Southpaw
Always left swinging up and down like an outlaw
They warned you that I would drive the kids insane
So don't blame me for the way your kids now reign

Bling Bang Boom
Tight little itty-bitty booty
Thanking you for being so sweet and cute
Next time remind me to always switch it to mute

Oops, did I say that out loud?

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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