Poetry competition CLOSED 10th April 2015 3:13pm
WINNER
LordCreepy (Colten_Sorrells)
View Profile Poems by LordCreepy
rosette
RUNNER-UP: snugglebuck

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Comedic Poetry!

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

           

LordCreepy
Colten_Sorrells
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 29th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 51

Heart-On
Her flow caught my attention
With verse, tight in all the right places
To showcase her form

Suddenly I realised I still got shit to do
But it's hard to stay on task
With a throbbing heart-on

An emotion this size is hard to hide
And I'm afraid someone will see it
I have to think of something quick

So I grab a notebook, find a quiet room
And stroke my pencil like it owes me money
Until it comes flowing out all over the page

LordCreepy
Colten_Sorrells
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 29th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 51

Rancid Pie

I once met a girl from the West
Who boasted her pie was the best
But before I could try
Brought a tear to my eye
Because it didn't pass the sniff test

LordCreepy
Colten_Sorrells
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 29th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 51

Rebellion Uprising
The foul smell of discontent can be smelt across the lands of the digestory tract as whispers of an uprising can be heard, and felt, as far south as the backwaters of sphincter

At the moment, the empire can do little but wait for the next attack as the pressure builds, causing considerable discomfort and jeopardizing the integrity of it's exports

So the question is : what is an emperor to do in the face of a growing rebellion?

Should I give in to their demands, thereby lowering taxes and decreasing the production of war materials? Or, should I increase production, and send in the guard to punish the serfs who live in the lower farm valleys of my stomach?

After much deliberation, I have decided it is best to punish the fools with some sour cream chicken enchiladas, extra jalapeņos on the side, refried beans and rice. They shall bow to my will, or I shall proceed to consume an entire 2-pound bag of sugar-free gummy bears and wash them down with a quart of chocolate milk, and I shall worry about making repairs later.

Such insolence shall not be tolerated in my kingdom

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
poet Anonymous

         

poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
LordCreepy
Colten_Sorrells
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 29th Mar 2015
Forum Posts: 51

Magick 101

I told my friend I was a mage
he called me a disgrace
So in my hand I cupped a spell
and hit him in the face

And when the magic hit his mouth
he learned what magic was about
he started gagging from the taste
as all the color left his face

'Cuz I'm a wizard, don't you know?
perhaps you haven't heard
I turn a pile of tasty food
into a pile of turds

It doesn't matter what I drink
it all comes out the same
But no one takes me seriously
they think my spells are lame

Atleast my friend don't run his mouth
he knows what magic is about
I don't think he'll forget the taste
Or how the color left his face

Now when I talk of wizardry
they'll know what it's about
and if they laugh, I'll cup a spell
and hit them in the mouth

MadameLavender
Guardian of Shadows
United States 86awards
Joined 17th Feb 2013
Forum Posts: 5594

Ok, I've taken the liberty of going through this entire thread and cleaning up all the off-topic chatter, mudslinging, copy/pasting someone else's work (**cough, cough** plagiarism--it's being watched you know...), and anything else that isn't really a competition entry, save for necessary moderator comments.  This way, it will be far easier for the competition host to go through the thread and choose a winner when the time comes, without having to slog through all the back-up from the septic tank, that happened here.  Next time someone has diarrhea, kindly flush after you have your Hershey-squirts, so it doesn't clog the DUP toilet and spill over into the forums, causing us to call the plumber again.  (Plus it's hygenic, too--you can contract lots of nasty pathogens from fecal/oral contamination, such as Hepatitis-A and Clostridium difficile)

Thank you for your continued support, and carry on.  <3  

Marshmellion
MoonBlossems
Lost Thinker
Canada
Joined 8th June 2012
Forum Posts: 35

Thank you very much Madame Lavender for the clean up, it's much appreciated!

MadameLavender
Guardian of Shadows
United States 86awards
Joined 17th Feb 2013
Forum Posts: 5594

Marshmellion said:Thank you very much Madame Lavender for the clean up, it's much appreciated!

No problem, and thanks for your understanding.  

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Anonymous said:<< post removed >>

I must have been sleeping.  Missed that Lep.


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