Poetry competition CLOSED 25th November 2014 10:46am
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Balefulmalevolence
View Profile Poems by Balefulmalevolence
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RUNNER-UP: Lee

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"a love that didn't love back"

pseudonymous
Twisted Dreamer
3awards
Joined 8th Sep 2013
Forum Posts: 46

*Deleted*

pseudonymous
Twisted Dreamer
3awards
Joined 8th Sep 2013
Forum Posts: 46

Dead Be

I'm sitting on the sidelines
Wanting to guide your eyes
Straight to me, so you will see
But I'm not here for you, for me
 
Sure let's talk as we pass by
Throw me around and leave with "hi"
Carry on a conversation behind my back
Get out of the way of my path
 
I see how it is now
There's sparks flying for her, how?
It wasn't supposed to be like this
Love was meant to bring bliss
 
But what is this tightening heart?
I thought I'd already been broken from the start
It seems that wasn't the case
Have I lost face? My place?
 
No, I didn't have a place to stand
So he simply wouldn't understand
What it's like to wish for something you know
You can never have, but not let it show
 
I sit here again, wanting to be close
But when I am, she is too, and I choke
I insult and crush him under my feet
As I stop tears from leaking in my defeat
 
She's pretty, ain't she?
She's better than I'll ever be
I have to admit, if I was a guy, I too
Would like a girl like her, it's true
 
I think I hate her, but I'm not sure
Feelings would be an unwanted cure
To this stone heart I thought I had
A heart that now doesn't seem all that bad
 
Why do I smile anymore?
Why do I live when it's become a chore?
I want to die and waste away
That way these every day
 
Pointless conversation on no subject
Where we fight, agree, and object
Will become the peaceful things to pull me
Pull me into the land where the dead be

poet Anonymous

The Opposite Of Love, Isn't Hate? Indifference Is The Actual Word

“The Way To Love Anything, Is To Realize That It Might Be Lost.”

Love, A Feeling Of Affection Or Attraction For Another Person. Once You've Had “Love”, You Simply Can't Get Enough. My Question Is, Once It Has Gone. What Feelings Or Emotions Replace That Genuine Word Such As “Love”? I Can Only Say Out Of One Word, Follows Many More That Turn Such A Word. Into A Absolute Horrible Thing In The Hands Of Those Who Think Of It As Less Than Affection And Attraction.

Those Who Make It Hurt More Then It Should, Like Degrading, Defiling, And Desensitizing. It Can Cause The Most Sane Of People Feel The Physical And Metal Affects.

A Burning In The Back Of The Throat.

A Sinking Feeling In The Chest, Like The Heart Itself Has Fallen To The Pit Of The Stomach.

A Tremble Or Shaking Motion In The Hands, When The Soul Has Been Ripped Away.

And Finally, A Chilling Sensation That Can Only Be Expressed As That Numbing State.

“Love”, When Placed In The Wrong Hands Can Be The Most Gut Wrenching Feeling And Experience Known To Mankind.

Sometimes Hate Is The Easiest And More For Filling Emotion To Express In Place Of That Word “Love”.

But It Wasn’t Really “Love” To Begin With, Now Was It?

In Fact I Wouldn’t Call It “Love”, It Was The Day I Realized What Kind Of Person You Really Were.

And What That Word Really Meant To You.

It Was Not Affection Nor Attraction.

Indifference-

Lack Of Interest, Concern, Or Sympathy. -Unimportant

This Is What I Actually Think Of The Past, When It Comes To Mind.

Indifference, Is The Proper Emotion That Comes To Thought.

Hate Isn't Even Worth Spending On Something Unimportant.

Some Say Its Worse Than Hate.

poet Anonymous

Betrayal ! extreme content !

“It was a simple chat, but to my inconvenience it was more than that. A conversations of two to make, these were the stakes.

Whether to abandon a goal, or to stay with lifeless soul. A “Soul-mate” I believed, but was deceived so mercilessly.

I couldn’t expect this to happen, It was something I had to fathom. I couldn’t believe this, you just had to leave it.

The way you so easily push a dreadful curse upon me, what can you do to make the pain even worse then you left it to be. For my pleads to save you, was a act that can not be so true.

While those around me, watched as I was gruesomely torn to sunder. I should have not spoken a word, for those words set me to plunder.

You were too far gone, How could I be so wrong! These thoughts, How could I had forgotten!

I shouldn’t had fought, with feelings that would’ve been lost. They began to prolong, but to what extent to what cost!

What I meant, was now to be content. So much I could have done.

But was spent on “no one”.

Fact was you didn’t want to be my only one.

So you left me broken and undone.

I never should have spoken. . .”

Simple words lost meaning, so much I wish I would’ve taken back.

I could just pretend everything we had together never happened, and I still believe that. Your existence goes with no notice, When the subject of you and I comes up.

Trust that I will express how undeserving all this anguish you brought along with you, is to why I present my utter most hatred towards you.

For that day a common everyday conversation with you, turned to the most unkindly discussion I had ever had the chance to endure.

All I could do in my restraint was to watch as you typed out your most inner true feeling towards my sanctity. Where was your fucking sanity!!!

You ultimately betrayed my trust and murdered a feeling of safety with someone who loved you. Now love replaced with the purist of hate and pain.

I feel such an overwhelming shame to had given you a chance of redemption. It was a mistake I’ve made to many times before with you.

In all a lairs tongue stays the same, they deceive the ones who care more then they should.

Atlas, I was one of those unfortunate ones to have fallen victim to a lair false affection. I desperately wish to infect the same morbid punishment upon such being.

But I am not as cruel as you, I am someone who loves more then what was given back. I get attached to easily as a result, with that said it is only my fault for loving something that was not meant to be.

As well as spending to much emotions over all, therefore I rather forget then to make an effort to mend broken ties. For you don’t deserve to ever speak to me in any way shape or form of communications.

For you, yourself is the symbol of a constant reminder of the Mistake I shouldn’t have tried to correct. Its a worthless effort to put so much time into, to a result of nothing but sorrow in the end.

Your a Useless Cause.

You cant be Saved.

For it is.

Worthless.

To even Try.

heart_forrent
Twisted Dreamer
United States
Joined 5th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 14

"Her"

She is who she is
She doesn't love me
But it is what it is
And what it may always be
I love her
I've told her
But her heart belongs to another
Her friendship
Has plugged the hole in my sinking ship
but it leaks...

poet Anonymous

Silence of a Broken Heart

I dare not move.

I remain.

In a isolated state.

Quiet.

Still.

Motionless.

If I move.

It will surely break.

Some try to fix it.

Piece by piece.

Falls off.

Every second.

Every minute.

Every hour.

Every day.

No glue.

No bandaid.

No stitching.

Will repair it.

Like glass.

You can not bandage.

Something so fragile.

So sweet and innocent.

Can be tainted.

By one touch.

Cracks.

Cuts.

Bruises.

Left upon a tiny thing.

It stopped beating.

For love.

I am scared.

For I can not.

Take another scar.

It might.

Shatter soon.

Upon impact.

So I don't move.

Towards love.

Fear has.

A tight grip.

Around it.

Like a vine.

Hatred.

Covers it.

Its the silk cloth upon it.

Rejection.

Is the boundment.

Of what keeps.

It silent.

Lifeless.

Still broken.

From the last man.

Who tried too.

Lay a finger on it.

So I recede.

In my numbness.

To stay next with it.

Keeping away.

From the thing.

Called love.

My "Broken Heart".

Will stay silent.

sammy4444
Fire of Insight
United States 5awards
Joined 25th Oct 2014
Forum Posts: 35

Musings from the drive home

Antiquated romanticisms
shift into clarity
Expectations left unfulfilled, frustrated
by forced views of reality.
She may never love you, unable to.
She's broken; like you, but different.
Soft, sensual thoughts transform into hard
cerebral synaptic surges.
Passionate lusty desires dissolve,
willing the carnal to wither,
and soberly drop away to the ground
like dead leaves in the cold night.

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/185656-musings-from-the-drive-home/

sektioN8ty
King Sammy
Thought Provoker
Nigeria 9awards
Joined 2nd July 2014
Forum Posts: 203

hurting love

You create hurt in my heart for reasons I don't
know
I've zonned myself outside that pain
I still have a pardon,
A platform of love,
You can dance on it the way you like,
Be it step on me or step with me,
My heart is always alligned to yours,
Though most times you blind to see,
I cant believe you say, you miss me and you
miss us,
You keep taking chances on my graceful love.

You never reciprocate, though I give my all
You; a bottomless pit,
I should never expect nothing
Still yet I find myself draining me in that pit,
You hurt me all the time, but I can't leave you,
Your spell is just unbreakeable,
But, I'd better remain with it and the pains you cause me than for you to leave,
If you 're not willing to change,
I'll still hang on like a cave,
I hope I don't collapse,
suicide will be my last option.

sektioN8ty
King Sammy
Thought Provoker
Nigeria 9awards
Joined 2nd July 2014
Forum Posts: 203

Inhuman Love

Back off,
stay away.....
That's all you yell,
I love you still,
I swear,
I regret not your
inhumanity
You make me light as paper,
In lost thoughts
I Sway,
I lay waste like leaves
fall off to the mud,
I'm stucked in autumn,
Seasons come,
Seasons go,
But this circle is broken,
I remain in it like a paused movie

I swear,
I love you still,
You are inhuman to me,
I don't care,
Just stay,
Hopeless like a drunk searching for a way down
the zig-zagly valley,
I believe it will
be positive anyways,
I would rather like it
negative if my only grant
was sympathy,
Nothing is free
So, if i decide to pay the price,
then,
how guilty are you of inhumanity?
We are all human,
And our inhumanity is what
makes us so,

I swear I love you still..
I'll embrace your inhuman love like a magnet,
I'll stay glued to it till I wear out,
Death is what gonna get me worn out,
Still yet my spirit will roam over ya like air even
when I'm gone,
I love you despite your nonchalant love,
My heart is a mellow,
You can be
                     Inhuman,
                   Wicked,
               Evil,
           Vile
       or
even worse,

I swear I love you still
I love you baby.....

sammy4444
Fire of Insight
United States 5awards
Joined 25th Oct 2014
Forum Posts: 35

In my head

I let her get inside my head
when I held her close for a moment,
but she stepped back,
and I plummeted into the gap left between us,
falling into…
what?
lust?
love?
desire?
There is definitely desire
swirling around in my head with her essence.
Every breath seems to fill me deeper.

Unrequited love is such a turn on
and a rigorous regimen of cold showers
and confusing half conversations.
And then a lot of lonely nights
remembering her charming smile,
the empty echoes of memories
of lips touching,
of hands sweating into each other
as they are pressed together at that uncomfortable angle
that movie theater seating allows,
but comfortable in a better way
that demands more while the moment lasts.
I am left trying to play this whole
"don't engage her as soon as she gets online,
don't be that guy" mentality
as I sit and stare at the green dot next to her name
in agony,
just wanting to read the words she might write back
in response an hour or two later,
her nonchalant-ness sincere against my feigned.

Is this desperation, as a mutual friend once told me?
Is the faded attraction to other women,
the lack of interest in others invitations to intimacy,
all a sign of desperation?
I feel desperate, but only for her.
It is like a sickness,
a fever.
I ache for her,
like a symptom.

Anxiety has become my bed fellow.
She knows so much about me,
but it has been so long,
does she remember who I am?
Am I remembering her correctly?
Does her voice really sing against my eardrums
with debilitating intoxication
as she laughs with such freedom
at my remarks on…
whatever?
Do her lips taste that sweet,
deeply pressing into my own,
stirring the desire into enchanting shapes
as they spin sensually across my eyelids?
How is it possible for anything to smell
or taste
so arousing,
so much like comfort,
and make the anxiety dissipate
as casually
as sand falling
through outspread fingers?

Maybe she is a dream;
if she is, so what?
Maybe she is really my dream,
and always has been.

http://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/185661-in-my-head/

lolnotfunny
Twisted Dreamer
United States 1awards
Joined 13th Oct 2014
Forum Posts: 26

Love that never was
Deceiving  
Easy?
To lie to the one that loves you
Look them in their face and claim you love them
No you don't
If you did you would do the things you know are wrong
You wouldn't let them get away
You would run after them
What happened to the one they fell in love with
Where did they go?
She wants you back
She needs you back
Find yourself
Before she dies from a broken heart

PsychicApocalypse
Darker Half
Dangerous Mind
Belize 30awards
Joined 5th Dec 2012
Forum Posts: 1483

Everything That Never Happened

http://www.loverofsadness.net/LOS/images/gallery/main/ff/10_Crying_unknown.jpg

Best friend,
comrad,
confidant.
Deceiving
myself,
with your kind
acceptance.

My heart,
stopping,
skipping beats,
fluttering
insane.
Secretly,
pulling, dreaming
saying, crying,
loving,
invain.

Your eyes
that watched
with pity,
sorrow,
and embarrassement.
I couldn't
control,
the out burst,
I told,
by accident.

Your smile
becoming broken,
as every thing
that was built,
is shaken.
The core quaking,
the roots
weakening,
and the words,
that I forced
you into saying.
With my selfish,
feelings.

I tried to stomp
it down,
but my mind wouldn't
have it.
It was planted,
with the thought
of us actually happening.
The pain,
the ache,
the sound of my heart
crying all out
as it breaks.

The pieces
that are better off lost.
The cost of
my mental infatuation.
My pulse beating
in my eardrums,
the torture of that
situation,
scarring me into
fake smiles,
fighting to hide,
this affection inside,
in total desperation.


You don't see me,
in the same light that
I do.
To you,
I'm damaged goods.
Its better to lay low,
in my utter anguish.
I'll wait for this
suffering to vanish.
For the flame to be
diminish,
into nothing.

I wish that you could hear,
all the words I'm too
afraid to say.
It's much easier
to run away,
than to face the wound
alone.
I wish I could hate you,
it would
hurt less,
I should have known.

Time out,
time in,
not a thing was
left the same.
You turning into
an acquaintance,
no longer a friend.
Trying to act,
like you didn´t notice,
but its hard to pretend.
Its hard to accept,
the coming of the end,
marking into me,
the memory, of
everything that never
happened.  

case28
Alexander Case
Dangerous Mind
42awards
Joined 16th June 2013
Forum Posts: 2077


Love [me] Black


you showed me a picture of a sunrise
and I saw black, but I felt your warmth
so I let you [in]


you brought me an empty glass
and I gave you my blood
I saw a heart bound with love
then you slung me from a tree
with a tether
of trust


you said I was a mystery
that I built these [walls]
I called home
and I gave you poetry
the place
I hide


I gave you everything
and you took it all
then gave it away


you bled me alive and painted a man on the [walls] I built
and I saw a crude monster
dripping black
drifting in space


I saw you in a mirror
and I am not the person you think I am
we are not the same reflection


I am alone
protected by these [words]
I built for love
something I can not find here




Written by Alexander Case

peninnah
The Blue Rose
Fire of Insight
Kenya 8awards
Joined 23rd Dec 2013
Forum Posts: 79

...LIKE THAT
Love is a tango    
a dance that twist hearts to its rhythm and flow without seeking permission.    
It is magic,sorcery and madness in one stove    
A furnace that scars deep inside yet you fan it,because,those same flames nourish,purify and amplify your skill and capacity to fall in love more.    
   
I was lying if i said you make me feel like that.    
   
I want to kiss someone who is tangled in same radiance of wicked lust,emotions and passionate desires    
Bathe in his heat and our chemistry should i melt burn or explode.    
A man,who’s hurt hurts me twice as much,because his heart is entirely one with mine.    
Someone who will drive me crazy,make me scream and sing and laugh and cry my eyes out    
A man I will spend a lifetime loving to hate and hating to love and relish each of those feelings because i would rather die than live a day without the ripples of his pressurized pleasure.    
   
I would be lying if i said you can hurt me like that.    
   
Loving you is far too straight,tedious and ostentatious    
It’s like eating Tex-Mex cuisine without chili    
Or deep-diving gilded with a floater.    
Where is the fun at,without the surge?    
I don’t want easy!I want joy and i want regret!I want misery and i want mystic!
I want fire but i also need ice!    
A ride with a wild dynamic Stallion who makes me lose control    
Someone who will completely knock off my senses and make my heart stop beating!    
I want a taste of death while am still breathing    
Bask in summer sun with someone who will still be standing when winter storm come blowing.    
   
I will be lying if i say i can love you like that.

peninnah
The Blue Rose
Fire of Insight
Kenya 8awards
Joined 23rd Dec 2013
Forum Posts: 79

DREAMER IN A DELUSIONAL WORLD.

It's human nature to crave impossibilities.One of the reason why Science fiction and epic series sells more.
We want to rule alien planet though it's explicit we incapable of exceeding in our free universe!

Dreamers living in a delusional world.

Fitting explanation why i still imagine you and i will walk down the aisle one day,live happily thereafter even though she already own your name bound and locked up in a,arranged marriage...
 

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