I'd Like To Apologize
Poetry Contest Description
Have you heard of writing a letter to someone but not giving it to them? It's exactly like that. Get your catharsis , folks
Benji's recent (I think) forum inspired me to start this. I've been using the act of writing to avail lately, as opposed to using the action of writing to distract or entertain. I intend that this be the spirit of the 'competition', healing through composition, but that is by no means definitive. Enjoy.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Just To Say, What I Haven't Yet
I often
lie down
in my mind
whilst walking
I dream all the time
at any given moment
you're my focal high
of ultimate , full control
flipping me
south side .
from my
northern pole
You don't
even know
that I feel this way
or if you do
it goes un-shown
plus you've never
said .
I have untidy shelves
and strewn books
for thoughts
when in my mind
you delve
crashing library doors .
One of these days
I'm bound
to get wrecked
and then
I might just say
what I haven't yet .
I often
lie down
in my mind
whilst walking
I dream all the time
at any given moment
you're my focal high
of ultimate , full control
flipping me
south side .
from my
northern pole
You don't
even know
that I feel this way
or if you do
it goes un-shown
plus you've never
said .
I have untidy shelves
and strewn books
for thoughts
when in my mind
you delve
crashing library doors .
One of these days
I'm bound
to get wrecked
and then
I might just say
what I haven't yet .
There was a day, very long ago it seems that I was never actualy sure I would make it, that I would live without you the way I have.And the fact that you can live without me too hurts....we dont speek like we used to in the context or the timeing and I miss it. I miss calling you on any night I could and talk till 3 am. I miss the sundays we spent in my moms apartment cooking. I miss a song coming on the radio in the store and you would sweep me up and start danceing. I miss laying with you and knowing I was safe. All of this is gone now of corse. But if your reading this, and I hope you do, just know that I do miss everything we had, and you can come home anytime you want... till the next phone call im still sorry and....im still not over you.
My Confessions
Id like to start off with
I Know im not a perfect girl
Nor will i ever be
I am sorry im not your perfect dream girl
My hair dont always fall perfectly
I suffer really bad with depression
I have anger problems
I am not who i appear to be
I act my way through life
Trying to be the perfect person, people expect me to be
You know sometimes Im scared if i show who i really am no one will love me or want to be my friend
Sometimes I feel ignored by everyone so I shout out for attention
But Im not always like that
Im sorry I stole your animal cracker at snack time
Im sorry I have crushed a few guys hearts
Im sorry Im not who you think I am
Just cause you think you know me doesnt mean you know the full story
I know I am a bitch its a full time jobs and the payment is the enjoyment of seeing lame comebacks
Well you know what I hope you step on a Lego
Yeah I went there
Im sorry I made you believe I love guys more then girls
When its clearly I love girls more then guys
If you can see these tears in the rain storm
You dont know me
Everyone knows whens its raining and Im out side standing in the middle of the storm I am crying
No I dont have sex with every guy I know how to keep my pants on
Loss my virginity at 18 years old and only had sex with 2 guys so how much do you know
You think you know me but think again
Im not who people make me out to be
Id like to start off with
I Know im not a perfect girl
Nor will i ever be
I am sorry im not your perfect dream girl
My hair dont always fall perfectly
I suffer really bad with depression
I have anger problems
I am not who i appear to be
I act my way through life
Trying to be the perfect person, people expect me to be
You know sometimes Im scared if i show who i really am no one will love me or want to be my friend
Sometimes I feel ignored by everyone so I shout out for attention
But Im not always like that
Im sorry I stole your animal cracker at snack time
Im sorry I have crushed a few guys hearts
Im sorry Im not who you think I am
Just cause you think you know me doesnt mean you know the full story
I know I am a bitch its a full time jobs and the payment is the enjoyment of seeing lame comebacks
Well you know what I hope you step on a Lego
Yeah I went there
Im sorry I made you believe I love guys more then girls
When its clearly I love girls more then guys
If you can see these tears in the rain storm
You dont know me
Everyone knows whens its raining and Im out side standing in the middle of the storm I am crying
No I dont have sex with every guy I know how to keep my pants on
Loss my virginity at 18 years old and only had sex with 2 guys so how much do you know
You think you know me but think again
Im not who people make me out to be
I don't know about letter but this is a note I've written that I'd offer on a bed of rose petals ...
Laugh until you ...
When I suck your toes
And tickle your feet with my tongue
I'm also healing the wounds I've left
when I've foolishly dropped the crystal
that is your heart.
Your sole cut from the broken shards.
Let me heal the wounds
so that I may lie beside you
and inside you once again.
Laugh until you ...
When I suck your toes
And tickle your feet with my tongue
I'm also healing the wounds I've left
when I've foolishly dropped the crystal
that is your heart.
Your sole cut from the broken shards.
Let me heal the wounds
so that I may lie beside you
and inside you once again.
You Missed Your Cue
"I'm sorry for each flinch
of the welcome wagon.
Truly, honey.
I paraded excuse
after excuse in Rio grandness,
but you missed your cue
to pay homage.
I'm sorry I took every real moment
and stretched it to fit my dressing table,
because if I don't look fabulous
this will get ugly.
I changed my mind,
she is wonderful,
but I can't stand him.
It really is just
about how you
fucked up, sweetie."
Well, I apologise to me
for blindly following
and for giving it all away.
I confused loyalty
with something less.
I persevered for the right reasons
but the wrong pulse.
I forgive myself
because
I can.
Regrets
Leaves falling on her loneliness
a sentinal weighed down by memories
promises left strewn like petals
accompanying a hearse to its destination
regrets and not a few hugged her heart
to think that she dared to love again
and leave her beloved alone aching
for a few more seasons to love together
he was her best friend her confidante
taking her brokenness and making her whole
kissing away her tears soothingly
she loved him truly in their years together
But time brought death
merciless knowing no love
she was taken leaving him in pain
"I'm so sorry please forgive me"
She whispered as she faded away
He thought of her often
his beloved soulmate
he echoed her words
"I'm so sorry darling forgive me"
Leaves falling on her loneliness
a sentinal weighed down by memories
promises left strewn like petals
accompanying a hearse to its destination
regrets and not a few hugged her heart
to think that she dared to love again
and leave her beloved alone aching
for a few more seasons to love together
he was her best friend her confidante
taking her brokenness and making her whole
kissing away her tears soothingly
she loved him truly in their years together
But time brought death
merciless knowing no love
she was taken leaving him in pain
"I'm so sorry please forgive me"
She whispered as she faded away
He thought of her often
his beloved soulmate
he echoed her words
"I'm so sorry darling forgive me"
Cheater
I’m a liar.
I’m a cheater.
I say I’m all yours
But then I meet her
I sneak behind your back
And I stab it as well
I keep it hidden from you
And I know I can’t tell
Because if I told you
I would lose you forever
I don’t want that to happen
I like us together
You’re my some and only
And I say that I love you
The only problem is
I love the cheating too
It’s thrilling and exciting
That sexy, edgy feel
But you actually mean something
You’re caring and real
I always tell myself
That I am going to stop
But the urge comes through
And my love seems to swap
It pulls at my heart
When I lie like I do
I want to let you know
But I don’t want to lose you
So I’ll continue to go on
Pretending nothing happened
I’m a liar.
I’m a cheater.
I say I’m all yours
But then I meet her
I sneak behind your back
And I stab it as well
I keep it hidden from you
And I know I can’t tell
Because if I told you
I would lose you forever
I don’t want that to happen
I like us together
You’re my some and only
And I say that I love you
The only problem is
I love the cheating too
It’s thrilling and exciting
That sexy, edgy feel
But you actually mean something
You’re caring and real
I always tell myself
That I am going to stop
But the urge comes through
And my love seems to swap
It pulls at my heart
When I lie like I do
I want to let you know
But I don’t want to lose you
So I’ll continue to go on
Pretending nothing happened
