Poetry competition CLOSED 30th October 2014 12:49pm
WINNER
case28 (Alexander Case)
case28 (Alexander Case)
Page:
crit comp. should always be one going.
Poetry Contest Description
crit some shit
Pick a poem, from any poet.
Post that poem
then crit it
as completely as you can.
Can be a famous poem, or obscure.
Critique does not necessarily mean criticism,
bonus points if you enjoy a work
and can describe why it works.
Will base strictly on the crit
not the work chosen
Do it, it's important.
Post that poem
then crit it
as completely as you can.
Can be a famous poem, or obscure.
Critique does not necessarily mean criticism,
bonus points if you enjoy a work
and can describe why it works.
Will base strictly on the crit
not the work chosen
Do it, it's important.
Anonymous
yes, good one here
I'll try and get back to this
I'll try and get back to this
I'll give it a go
And from Harlem, they rose
There is just something about the Harlem Renascence that is so full of positive energy. Maybe it was the sublime and unforgettable jazz coming from groundbreaking musicians like Duke Ellington, Mary Lou Williams, Fats Waller and many more. Maybe it was the incredible freedom of expression that African Americans were able to finally to engage in. But what really speaks volumes of that time are the works of literature and their authors. There is something almost sacred in the writings of the Harlem Renascence. The immense commentary on socio-economic and racial issues, charged with a deep reservoir of suppressed emotion, was able to be mastered by literary geniuses who succeeded in writing a century’s worth of concealed voices on paper for all to read; A declaration of sorts. Though there were many literary luminaries of the Harlem Renascence, one of the most prominent and compelling was the poet, Langston Hughes.
In one of his most important critically acclaimed pieces, I, Too, speaks of the ongoing hope and positive outlook of the African American community of the early 1900’s through the use of literary techniques such as character, structure, point of view and many more. This theme of hope and positivity is prevalent throughout the civil rights movement, as evident in non-violent demonstration, solidarity marches and many other methods of positive protest. Hope is one of the more prevalent themes as we can see from speaker referencing the past to speak of the future,
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.
Utilizing the first person is an exceptionally strong tool to bring out sympathy or empathy and thus create rapport with readers. It forces the reader to walk in the shoes of the author. Due to the fact that this is a poem written during the Harlem Renaissance, the majority of readers would themselves be African American, and therefore the overwhelming sense of empathy would create an incredibly strong affinity with the African American community. This would be an affirmation of the need to make right the wrongdoing to their people in the past; a call to action. Yet at the same time, Hughes makes it a point to not entirely separate the African American community from identifying as American. Take the beginning of the second verse, “I am the darker brother.” Hughes could have very well thrown out the word “brother” for something less inclusive. Maybe he could have said “I am the darker man” or “I am the darker race”…etc. but instead he chose to use the word “brother”, a word that is shared by all members of a like species, for instance humans. By including the word “brother” Hughes makes it clear that regardless of the color of one’s skin, humans are all brothers, we are all members in the community of humanity. This declaration of humanity adds a layer of irony to the poem. The irony being that the humans oppressing other humans claim that those oppressed humans are not humans; an utterly ridiculous notion. These layers fit in perfectly with the theme of hope that surges through this piece, especially at the end of the second stanza when the speaker says,
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Though the African American community may have been oppressed and treated like second rate humans, they shrug it off as merely an obstacle in the way of their acceptance as humans. They have complete faith that they will be saved by God, Jesus, and it is this immense Christian faith that is distinctly African American, and these distinctions are like brush strokes of color on a painting. It really gives the poem a character.
There are poems that speak of a particular idea, or subject, but there are those that embody those ideas and subjects. Hughes manages to embody the essence of the modern African American in the 1900’s. One of the most telling and powerful ways is through the distinct style of speech that developed through the African American community. Take the lines, “When company comes./Nobody’ll dare/Say to me,” Hughes could have easily chosen to write “Nobody will” instead of the incorrect abbreviation of “Nobody’ll” but he chose to add even more character to his piece. By giving some of his verses a distinct vernacular sound, the real soul of the poem beings to emerge and the piece becomes more than just a poem, it becomes an avatar of the poem’s subject. If done correctly, a reader can feel empathy even when they have no similar experience. Adding to the already fleshed out character of the poem, Hughes adds a layer of pride and a familiar sassiness when the speaker says,
Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed—
I, too, am America.
If the poem had ended before these last 4 lines, the overall tone would be uplifting and hopeful, however as soon as the word “Besides” is read, the tone changes completely. The last stanza is played out as if all of the stanzas beforehand didn't really matter that much. It is as if Hughes wants to say that whatever happened in the past is unchangeable, but now the African American community must use their new found freedom to make life beautiful and to make those who oppressed us, ashamed that they suppressed such beauty. The layer of pride comes from Hughes’s confidence in the African American community to express their capabilities to make life beautiful. A metaphor here being the word “beautiful” as not just physical beauty but beauty that comes from freedom of expression, be it through the beauty of art, literature, music, science…etc.
One of the most important things that Hughes realized was that while America might have been composed of a majority of Caucasian people, this nation is a nation of immigrants. While new immigrants were struggling to assimilate and declare their identity as American, so too were the African Americans of the 1900’s struggling to do the same. This is what the last line expresses in a passionate plead. The commas, give each word space to expand, to ring like a bell. Each word is read like a staccato on a note, sharp and hard hitting. What a solemn way to end this iconic piece.
On a purely poetic form note, the structure of the verses adds to the body and tone of the piece, by breaking down long lines of text into almost bullet point like lines that have more impact when read. The spacing after the first verse and before the last verse add dramatic tension, as does a dramatic pause between an character’s line in a play or movie. By breaking verses into several stanzas, Hughes made it easier for the reader to identify the different subjects being expressed. Overall the flow of the piece is straight forward and simple, adding yet another layer of irony but also adding to the layer of hope. This is true because the entire struggle of the African Americans during the 1900’s was not simple and did not flow smoothly; it was difficult, rough and confusing. However a sense of hope is conveyed by that same simplicity of the form, as to say perhaps this injustice can be seen as a simple problem and there can be a straight forward solution.
There is just something about the Harlem Renascence that is so full of positive energy. Maybe it was the sublime and unforgettable jazz coming from groundbreaking musicians like Duke Ellington, Mary Lou Williams, Fats Waller and many more. Maybe it was the incredible freedom of expression that African Americans were able to finally to engage in. But what really speaks volumes of that time are the works of literature and their authors. There is something almost sacred in the writings of the Harlem Renascence. The immense commentary on socio-economic and racial issues, charged with a deep reservoir of suppressed emotion, was able to be mastered by literary geniuses who succeeded in writing a century’s worth of concealed voices on paper for all to read; A declaration of sorts. Though there were many literary luminaries of the Harlem Renascence, one of the most prominent and compelling was the poet, Langston Hughes.
In one of his most important critically acclaimed pieces, I, Too, speaks of the ongoing hope and positive outlook of the African American community of the early 1900’s through the use of literary techniques such as character, structure, point of view and many more. This theme of hope and positivity is prevalent throughout the civil rights movement, as evident in non-violent demonstration, solidarity marches and many other methods of positive protest. Hope is one of the more prevalent themes as we can see from speaker referencing the past to speak of the future,
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Tomorrow,
I’ll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me,
“Eat in the kitchen,”
Then.
Utilizing the first person is an exceptionally strong tool to bring out sympathy or empathy and thus create rapport with readers. It forces the reader to walk in the shoes of the author. Due to the fact that this is a poem written during the Harlem Renaissance, the majority of readers would themselves be African American, and therefore the overwhelming sense of empathy would create an incredibly strong affinity with the African American community. This would be an affirmation of the need to make right the wrongdoing to their people in the past; a call to action. Yet at the same time, Hughes makes it a point to not entirely separate the African American community from identifying as American. Take the beginning of the second verse, “I am the darker brother.” Hughes could have very well thrown out the word “brother” for something less inclusive. Maybe he could have said “I am the darker man” or “I am the darker race”…etc. but instead he chose to use the word “brother”, a word that is shared by all members of a like species, for instance humans. By including the word “brother” Hughes makes it clear that regardless of the color of one’s skin, humans are all brothers, we are all members in the community of humanity. This declaration of humanity adds a layer of irony to the poem. The irony being that the humans oppressing other humans claim that those oppressed humans are not humans; an utterly ridiculous notion. These layers fit in perfectly with the theme of hope that surges through this piece, especially at the end of the second stanza when the speaker says,
I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.
Though the African American community may have been oppressed and treated like second rate humans, they shrug it off as merely an obstacle in the way of their acceptance as humans. They have complete faith that they will be saved by God, Jesus, and it is this immense Christian faith that is distinctly African American, and these distinctions are like brush strokes of color on a painting. It really gives the poem a character.
There are poems that speak of a particular idea, or subject, but there are those that embody those ideas and subjects. Hughes manages to embody the essence of the modern African American in the 1900’s. One of the most telling and powerful ways is through the distinct style of speech that developed through the African American community. Take the lines, “When company comes./Nobody’ll dare/Say to me,” Hughes could have easily chosen to write “Nobody will” instead of the incorrect abbreviation of “Nobody’ll” but he chose to add even more character to his piece. By giving some of his verses a distinct vernacular sound, the real soul of the poem beings to emerge and the piece becomes more than just a poem, it becomes an avatar of the poem’s subject. If done correctly, a reader can feel empathy even when they have no similar experience. Adding to the already fleshed out character of the poem, Hughes adds a layer of pride and a familiar sassiness when the speaker says,
Besides,
They’ll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed—
I, too, am America.
If the poem had ended before these last 4 lines, the overall tone would be uplifting and hopeful, however as soon as the word “Besides” is read, the tone changes completely. The last stanza is played out as if all of the stanzas beforehand didn't really matter that much. It is as if Hughes wants to say that whatever happened in the past is unchangeable, but now the African American community must use their new found freedom to make life beautiful and to make those who oppressed us, ashamed that they suppressed such beauty. The layer of pride comes from Hughes’s confidence in the African American community to express their capabilities to make life beautiful. A metaphor here being the word “beautiful” as not just physical beauty but beauty that comes from freedom of expression, be it through the beauty of art, literature, music, science…etc.
One of the most important things that Hughes realized was that while America might have been composed of a majority of Caucasian people, this nation is a nation of immigrants. While new immigrants were struggling to assimilate and declare their identity as American, so too were the African Americans of the 1900’s struggling to do the same. This is what the last line expresses in a passionate plead. The commas, give each word space to expand, to ring like a bell. Each word is read like a staccato on a note, sharp and hard hitting. What a solemn way to end this iconic piece.
On a purely poetic form note, the structure of the verses adds to the body and tone of the piece, by breaking down long lines of text into almost bullet point like lines that have more impact when read. The spacing after the first verse and before the last verse add dramatic tension, as does a dramatic pause between an character’s line in a play or movie. By breaking verses into several stanzas, Hughes made it easier for the reader to identify the different subjects being expressed. Overall the flow of the piece is straight forward and simple, adding yet another layer of irony but also adding to the layer of hope. This is true because the entire struggle of the African Americans during the 1900’s was not simple and did not flow smoothly; it was difficult, rough and confusing. However a sense of hope is conveyed by that same simplicity of the form, as to say perhaps this injustice can be seen as a simple problem and there can be a straight forward solution.
This Living Hand
This living hand, now warm and capable
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
And in the icy silence of the tomb
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
That thou wouldst wish thy own heart dry of blood
So in my veins red life might stream again,
And thou be conscience-calmed - see here it is - I hold it towards you.
- John Keats
According to "Literature of the World" this poem was "found among his personal effects after his death (circa 1821, at age 25) and was never published by Keats. It was addressed to Fanny Brawne, a girl with whom Keats had a tortured love affair. Written during his final illness, the poem shows a full awareness by Keats of his approaching death." - George Kearns
Perspective is everything. Dying, even for the aged, is a difficult circumstance to grasp. A glimpse of the final gamut of an extraordinary child. Selfish desires thwarted, end of the play in sight, he recinds his unwonted recriminations at the last and yet, does not withdraw his accusation of abandonment. Bitter to the end, he holds this last fading passion close as he slips away. I cannot count the number of moments when, as a small child, some hurt or perceived insult led to concurrence with this sentimentality. Yet, he does not stay in denial and shows a glimpse of his innate humanity in extending his hand in forgiveness.
This living hand, now warm and capable
Of earnest grasping, would, if it were cold
And in the icy silence of the tomb
So haunt thy days and chill thy dreaming nights
That thou wouldst wish thy own heart dry of blood
So in my veins red life might stream again,
And thou be conscience-calmed - see here it is - I hold it towards you.
- John Keats
According to "Literature of the World" this poem was "found among his personal effects after his death (circa 1821, at age 25) and was never published by Keats. It was addressed to Fanny Brawne, a girl with whom Keats had a tortured love affair. Written during his final illness, the poem shows a full awareness by Keats of his approaching death." - George Kearns
Perspective is everything. Dying, even for the aged, is a difficult circumstance to grasp. A glimpse of the final gamut of an extraordinary child. Selfish desires thwarted, end of the play in sight, he recinds his unwonted recriminations at the last and yet, does not withdraw his accusation of abandonment. Bitter to the end, he holds this last fading passion close as he slips away. I cannot count the number of moments when, as a small child, some hurt or perceived insult led to concurrence with this sentimentality. Yet, he does not stay in denial and shows a glimpse of his innate humanity in extending his hand in forgiveness.
Richard Cory
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
To me, Edwin Arlington Robinson's poem is the epitome of how exactly wrong collective public opinion can be. How money,grooming, a fine education (in short, what others generally term success) does not provide happiness. How you never know what another person's perspective is, until they clue you in with either words or actions. Love the emotional distance of the poem. How the reader is invited into the collective perspective of the townspeople; And yet, as such, is an alien to the subject's.
Entered two crits because:
1. You didn't specifically state we couldn't 2. No one else has entered and 3. This is such a fabulous poem, I wanted to say something about it.
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
To me, Edwin Arlington Robinson's poem is the epitome of how exactly wrong collective public opinion can be. How money,grooming, a fine education (in short, what others generally term success) does not provide happiness. How you never know what another person's perspective is, until they clue you in with either words or actions. Love the emotional distance of the poem. How the reader is invited into the collective perspective of the townspeople; And yet, as such, is an alien to the subject's.
Entered two crits because:
1. You didn't specifically state we couldn't 2. No one else has entered and 3. This is such a fabulous poem, I wanted to say something about it.
Christ Fuck
By Sean Nelson (2004)
I wanna fuck Christ in the asshole (howl!),
yeah that's what I said.
I wanna fuck Christ in the asshole;
I'm so glad he's not really dead.
Such a good looking man,
blonde hair, blue eyes,
and macho stubble.
And I'm a good looking thug,
on a couple of drugs,
plain looking for trouble.
We'd take a highway ninety-seven,
on the serpent free-way to heaven.
And I'd have a good looking lad,
with a cock in his hand, at every Motel Seven. And soon we'd get shit straight,
bout this crucifix fate,
Cause fate ain't something ya make,
but it is the shit that happens.
Nah, we'd get some weed and speed in his blood, and his feet on the dance floor tappin'. (Howl!)
I stumbled across Sean Nelson on an erotic fiction website. He's a young published writer in his 30s, born, raised and educated (BA in Literature) in Oregan, USA, and he's travelled the world. His biography states: "I had a complex, bizarre life. "Who I am" is pretty much in my writings, in which almost all of the facts (some of them incredible) are true: the occasional piece is fictional." Sean Nelson is single, he has blonde hair, blue eyes and is heterosexual.
What does the poet's biography have to do with the poem "Christ Fuck"? Well, not a lot, but I want to introduce the writer before I critique the poem, because the response this poem received was vastly negative with comments focused on the poem's homosexual and religious content. Nelson was also criticised for his portrayal of Jesus as a "good looking man, blonde hair, blue eyes." A description that fitted the photograph of Nelson on his profile page and apparently not a Jesus from the Middle East as pointed out by one critique.
Other comments suggested blasphemy, that he should delete the description of Jesus and replace it with Brad Pitt, "leave the ass fucking more up to the imagination" [I must remind you at this point this is a male dominated erotic fiction site], another stated the poem was "poetically poor" and it was also suggested that the poem was "written for attention." A female posted "I fucking adore this. You've got some balls, Mr." My own response after reading this poem was a rather understated, "FUCK YEAH!!!!! I can't wait to read the rest of your poems."
In the 10 years that the poem has been posted on the website, Nelson has not replied to any of the criticisms and comments. And I admire the author for not responding or justifying why he was inspired to write about a protagonist who fucks Jesus in the asshole, because despite Nelson writing in first person and stating in his bio that "Who I am is pretty much in my writings, in which almost all of the facts (some of them incredible) are true", this poem is an excellent example of creative writing breaking all the rules in what the author sets for himself and what is expected from literature, by pushing the envelope on what is considered very sensitive and taboo in christian cultures today.
Nelson does have balls. In his poem, he has portrayed Jesus in his own image, then sodomised the son of God [himself, Nelson], before cruising along the highway 97 on the hunt [the route that spans from Nelson's hometown, the Oregon state line to the Canadian border], picking up good looking lads with cocks in their hand, talking shit straight... about the "crucifix fate", about sacrificing your future, "Cause fate ain't something ya make, but it is the shit that happens", Nelson's protagonist is spiralling, getting deep and philosophical with Jesus, talking about living in the now. Then in the last line, he snaps out of it. "Nah, we'd get some weed and speed into his blood..." and ends with getting Jesus tappin', dancing on the dance floor.
I think "Christ Fuck" is less about religion and homosexuality and more about drugs, [howl!] It's about feeling sexually charged and invincible [howl!]. It's about doing speed and smoking weed and that buzzing feeling you get in your cock, like you could fuck anything with a pulse or even a god, 'cause you're so fucking high [howl!] Christ Fuck or Fuck Christ? Fuck life and the expectations that you were born to make sacrifices! Push your limits, test fate, because you never really die. Dance, tap your feet! Speed, the blood of life [Howl!] These are the emotions and thoughts that Nelson evokes in me when I read "Christ Fuck."
Poetically is the poem well written? Well, it rhymes and it has flow. The rhyming scheme changes throughout the poem, starting with ABAB, he then breaks the scheme in lines 5 and 6, but maintains the flow by using assonance rhyme in line 5 with the words "good-looking" and alliteration rhyme in line 6 with the words "blonde-blue". Nelson then follows with an ABBACC rhyming scheme for lines 7-12 and then breaks again in line 13, using both assonance and alliteration rhymes with "good looking lad". Then wraps it up with a AAABB rhyming scheme, though it's a bit rough, but it doesn't matter in the end, because he howls again and it's obvious by now the poet was high when he wrote the poem. And that's cool, because I think the poem rocks and I get this vibe and energy that it was written quickly, words dropping out of the sky while he was cruising down the ninety-seven high-way.
Sean Nelson's poem "Christ Fuck" was very inspirational for me creatively when I first read it almost 2 years ago, because it showed me freedom, to write whatever I wanted to write. Nelson showed me that regardless if a poem rhymes well or not at all, putting technique and style aside, the story you tell and the emotion you inject into your poetry is paramount when engaging the reader.
[I've edited the shit out of this...]
By Sean Nelson (2004)
I wanna fuck Christ in the asshole (howl!),
yeah that's what I said.
I wanna fuck Christ in the asshole;
I'm so glad he's not really dead.
Such a good looking man,
blonde hair, blue eyes,
and macho stubble.
And I'm a good looking thug,
on a couple of drugs,
plain looking for trouble.
We'd take a highway ninety-seven,
on the serpent free-way to heaven.
And I'd have a good looking lad,
with a cock in his hand, at every Motel Seven. And soon we'd get shit straight,
bout this crucifix fate,
Cause fate ain't something ya make,
but it is the shit that happens.
Nah, we'd get some weed and speed in his blood, and his feet on the dance floor tappin'. (Howl!)
I stumbled across Sean Nelson on an erotic fiction website. He's a young published writer in his 30s, born, raised and educated (BA in Literature) in Oregan, USA, and he's travelled the world. His biography states: "I had a complex, bizarre life. "Who I am" is pretty much in my writings, in which almost all of the facts (some of them incredible) are true: the occasional piece is fictional." Sean Nelson is single, he has blonde hair, blue eyes and is heterosexual.
What does the poet's biography have to do with the poem "Christ Fuck"? Well, not a lot, but I want to introduce the writer before I critique the poem, because the response this poem received was vastly negative with comments focused on the poem's homosexual and religious content. Nelson was also criticised for his portrayal of Jesus as a "good looking man, blonde hair, blue eyes." A description that fitted the photograph of Nelson on his profile page and apparently not a Jesus from the Middle East as pointed out by one critique.
Other comments suggested blasphemy, that he should delete the description of Jesus and replace it with Brad Pitt, "leave the ass fucking more up to the imagination" [I must remind you at this point this is a male dominated erotic fiction site], another stated the poem was "poetically poor" and it was also suggested that the poem was "written for attention." A female posted "I fucking adore this. You've got some balls, Mr." My own response after reading this poem was a rather understated, "FUCK YEAH!!!!! I can't wait to read the rest of your poems."
In the 10 years that the poem has been posted on the website, Nelson has not replied to any of the criticisms and comments. And I admire the author for not responding or justifying why he was inspired to write about a protagonist who fucks Jesus in the asshole, because despite Nelson writing in first person and stating in his bio that "Who I am is pretty much in my writings, in which almost all of the facts (some of them incredible) are true", this poem is an excellent example of creative writing breaking all the rules in what the author sets for himself and what is expected from literature, by pushing the envelope on what is considered very sensitive and taboo in christian cultures today.
Nelson does have balls. In his poem, he has portrayed Jesus in his own image, then sodomised the son of God [himself, Nelson], before cruising along the highway 97 on the hunt [the route that spans from Nelson's hometown, the Oregon state line to the Canadian border], picking up good looking lads with cocks in their hand, talking shit straight... about the "crucifix fate", about sacrificing your future, "Cause fate ain't something ya make, but it is the shit that happens", Nelson's protagonist is spiralling, getting deep and philosophical with Jesus, talking about living in the now. Then in the last line, he snaps out of it. "Nah, we'd get some weed and speed into his blood..." and ends with getting Jesus tappin', dancing on the dance floor.
I think "Christ Fuck" is less about religion and homosexuality and more about drugs, [howl!] It's about feeling sexually charged and invincible [howl!]. It's about doing speed and smoking weed and that buzzing feeling you get in your cock, like you could fuck anything with a pulse or even a god, 'cause you're so fucking high [howl!] Christ Fuck or Fuck Christ? Fuck life and the expectations that you were born to make sacrifices! Push your limits, test fate, because you never really die. Dance, tap your feet! Speed, the blood of life [Howl!] These are the emotions and thoughts that Nelson evokes in me when I read "Christ Fuck."
Poetically is the poem well written? Well, it rhymes and it has flow. The rhyming scheme changes throughout the poem, starting with ABAB, he then breaks the scheme in lines 5 and 6, but maintains the flow by using assonance rhyme in line 5 with the words "good-looking" and alliteration rhyme in line 6 with the words "blonde-blue". Nelson then follows with an ABBACC rhyming scheme for lines 7-12 and then breaks again in line 13, using both assonance and alliteration rhymes with "good looking lad". Then wraps it up with a AAABB rhyming scheme, though it's a bit rough, but it doesn't matter in the end, because he howls again and it's obvious by now the poet was high when he wrote the poem. And that's cool, because I think the poem rocks and I get this vibe and energy that it was written quickly, words dropping out of the sky while he was cruising down the ninety-seven high-way.
Sean Nelson's poem "Christ Fuck" was very inspirational for me creatively when I first read it almost 2 years ago, because it showed me freedom, to write whatever I wanted to write. Nelson showed me that regardless if a poem rhymes well or not at all, putting technique and style aside, the story you tell and the emotion you inject into your poetry is paramount when engaging the reader.
[I've edited the shit out of this...]
