Poetry competition CLOSED 24th October 2014 3:53pm
WINNER
Anonymous
Anonymous
DUP DATING APP - Hot Horny Single Poets - DOWNLOAD HERE
Poetry Contest Description
You're a single desperate poet. So you download the latest DUP dating app and set up your profile... tell us about yourself in 500 characters.
Fuck, it's been a while since I set up a comp, I almost couldn't find the hole to stick in the key.
Here we go poets. Go sick and write as many single dating profiles as you want and post them here on this thread.
Write a poem or prose, just make it funny, sweet and sexy, dirty, vulgar, desperate or just downright creepy.
The DUP dating app has a maximum of 500 characters. [I'll be checking]
The winner will be decided by a DUP poll [vote].
However, only one official entry is permitted per poet. Here's the trick. YOU MUST POST YOUR ENTRY ON YOUR DUP PROFILE ALONG WITH A SELFIE OF YOURSELF [OR A PARTIAL OF YOURSELF]. I'll set up the poll with a link to your DUP profile and members will vote.
Collabs aren't allowed, but if you're a couple looking for a bisexual partner, whatever floats your boat.
EXAMPLE
"Think about what you want in a guy... now hold your breath, countdown... 3, 2, 1... swipe and just pray real hard the next photo you don't see a selfie of your sleazy boss, posing on the hood of the company car in a black leather studded thong... alternatively, you could get to know me and not take the risk of finding out your boss has pierced nipples and a tribal tramp stamp tattooed on his lower back."
Here we go poets. Go sick and write as many single dating profiles as you want and post them here on this thread.
Write a poem or prose, just make it funny, sweet and sexy, dirty, vulgar, desperate or just downright creepy.
The DUP dating app has a maximum of 500 characters. [I'll be checking]
The winner will be decided by a DUP poll [vote].
However, only one official entry is permitted per poet. Here's the trick. YOU MUST POST YOUR ENTRY ON YOUR DUP PROFILE ALONG WITH A SELFIE OF YOURSELF [OR A PARTIAL OF YOURSELF]. I'll set up the poll with a link to your DUP profile and members will vote.
Collabs aren't allowed, but if you're a couple looking for a bisexual partner, whatever floats your boat.
EXAMPLE
"Think about what you want in a guy... now hold your breath, countdown... 3, 2, 1... swipe and just pray real hard the next photo you don't see a selfie of your sleazy boss, posing on the hood of the company car in a black leather studded thong... alternatively, you could get to know me and not take the risk of finding out your boss has pierced nipples and a tribal tramp stamp tattooed on his lower back."
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
Anonymous
Single Italian female interested in a rich man between 35-60 years old. Must have a full head of hair on his head.
About me: I consider myself overweight, wrinkled, and a tad depressed
If we met, you would never be able to see me undressed
I am always cold at night, especially my feet and toes
And I lie in bed passing gas and picking my nose
My profile picture is a little old
It was taken when I was younger and more bold
I do not look like this anymore, though
I’m hideous now, and I thought that you probably would want to know
I enjoy reality television and eating greasy fast food
Most of the day, I stay on the couch and brood
Having no friends, I could be yours totally
But don’t worry, I will never commit emotionally
I collect personal protection weapons and write poetry
I don’t enjoy children or holidays and like to cut down annoying trees
Being a woods woman, I have no problem using an outhouse
or field dressing chipmunks or the occasional rat or mouse
Regarding my plans for a future relationship
I am only interested in money and won’t fuck for a tip
So, if you are interested, send me $5,000 cash in an unmarked envelope
But just know, I will never contact you again, you stupid dope
About me: I consider myself overweight, wrinkled, and a tad depressed
If we met, you would never be able to see me undressed
I am always cold at night, especially my feet and toes
And I lie in bed passing gas and picking my nose
My profile picture is a little old
It was taken when I was younger and more bold
I do not look like this anymore, though
I’m hideous now, and I thought that you probably would want to know
I enjoy reality television and eating greasy fast food
Most of the day, I stay on the couch and brood
Having no friends, I could be yours totally
But don’t worry, I will never commit emotionally
I collect personal protection weapons and write poetry
I don’t enjoy children or holidays and like to cut down annoying trees
Being a woods woman, I have no problem using an outhouse
or field dressing chipmunks or the occasional rat or mouse
Regarding my plans for a future relationship
I am only interested in money and won’t fuck for a tip
So, if you are interested, send me $5,000 cash in an unmarked envelope
But just know, I will never contact you again, you stupid dope
Something seems fishy about this... in your example, you tell the writer to think about what they want in a guy. Well, I don't want a guy and neither do any of the other heterosexual males in this site. Also, many of the women here are lesbians, so nether do they. Many of the women on this site do not post selfies, so even more exclusions. Maybe you just want a date for yourself and want to judge according to how pretty the girls who enter are according to your own taste. What does a good poem have to do with a selfie? Doesn't sound like a competition to me at all, but it sure sounds like a lame attempt to get a date.
Of course I expect to be criticized for this expression posted in a competition, but your list of demands goes so far as to force members to change their public profile to make people appear desperate for a date.
JJ
Of course I expect to be criticized for this expression posted in a competition, but your list of demands goes so far as to force members to change their public profile to make people appear desperate for a date.
JJ
I had the same exact thoughts (word for word) as Poetryman.
The comp is quite offensive to ALL women and the suggestion of a self in sounds like the are personal motivations behind it. The comp itself does not provide any usefulness, but inviting unnecessary attention to all females on the site.
The comp is quite offensive to ALL women and the suggestion of a self in sounds like the are personal motivations behind it. The comp itself does not provide any usefulness, but inviting unnecessary attention to all females on the site.
Anonymous
Geeez, should I remove my entry? Thinking...does it say somewhere that only can females enter this comp.?
Update: I'm going to keep my entry here until the end date while y'all sit and fake orgasms. k?
Update: I'm going to keep my entry here until the end date while y'all sit and fake orgasms. k?
Anonymous
I don't have a prob with understanding your example and rules. It's fiction, and the selfie can be faked as well.
I'm married but I am no stranger to reading profiles on dating sites. I'll try to come back with a laughable entry soon.
I'm married but I am no stranger to reading profiles on dating sites. I'll try to come back with a laughable entry soon.
Anonymous
<< post removed >>
This is a creative writing site and this comp is encouraging creative writing, whilst taking the piss out of [mocking] dating apps and websites.
You can fake your selfie, you can fake your sexuality, your gender, your orgasm... have fun and don't take this comp and yourself too seriously.
Also, the comp is going to be judged by popular vote.
I am not a sexual predator.... I'm human!
You can fake your selfie, you can fake your sexuality, your gender, your orgasm... have fun and don't take this comp and yourself too seriously.
Also, the comp is going to be judged by popular vote.
I am not a sexual predator.... I'm human!
Honey Mouth Sugar Tongue
Howdy, howdy. I am single poet with a honey mouth and a sugar tongue, every
thing I say is sweet. I have been on this planet looking for inspiration
and hope. And I been looking hard, and I been looking deep. I been looking
in my dreams, and in my sleep. But ain't found nobody with that fire and
that fury to make my heart leap. Sometimes I speak fine, sometimes I speak
sweet, sometimes I cut to the chase too quick, and that cuts too deep.
Sweet talking turns sour. So if you like a little poison with your pleasure,
tell the Raven. But don't come knocking on my door, if you looking for treats.
Some doors you should never knock on. Take your tricking ass and walk on.
Howdy, howdy. I am single poet with a honey mouth and a sugar tongue, every
thing I say is sweet. I have been on this planet looking for inspiration
and hope. And I been looking hard, and I been looking deep. I been looking
in my dreams, and in my sleep. But ain't found nobody with that fire and
that fury to make my heart leap. Sometimes I speak fine, sometimes I speak
sweet, sometimes I cut to the chase too quick, and that cuts too deep.
Sweet talking turns sour. So if you like a little poison with your pleasure,
tell the Raven. But don't come knocking on my door, if you looking for treats.
Some doors you should never knock on. Take your tricking ass and walk on.
