A Day In The Life Of An Internet Troll

Tripping Trolls on the Roll

donkeys were trip tripping over the bridge
while the trolls looked up and thought
why couldn't they be donkeys too
and start their own hullabaloo
oh they need to be heard
they need to be known
the trolls just trolling
under the bridge

so they climbed up to the bridge
and started their walk back and forth
and back and forth on the plank-way
they taunted the donkeys
who just brayed and ran away
the cows who just looked bored
horses that disdainfully kept away
the trolls they were mad

so they started to pout
and they started to spout
all manners of stories
sonnets and verses fit
for the King's court
the trolls they sang their hearts out
told of fantastical worlds
and mysterious universe

delighted, their audience listened
enthralled with the stories
they started to cheer hip hip hooray
for the trolls the fancy trolls
who copied the donkey's brays
and all the cows little moos
and the horses neighing splutters
were in a frenzy of ideas

but after replays of a hundred and ten
tunes and verses again and again
the audience walked away
to adore altars of other orators
the cats, and dogs, the monkeys
crocodiles and kangaroos, they left
the trolls sputtered in anger on empty air
and slunk back to their grey domain

songs sad and lonely are still heard
from their home under the bridge
a repetition of pretty and fancy verses
but then they might be back one day
to dance their jig and recite their tales
to a happy adoring audience
...the tripping trolls.


(inspired by the Three Billy Goats Gruff-Hans Christian Anderson)

Hound


I’m barking up your willow tree
No animal control can catch me
I got a big moon to howl at
while you all whiners just scratch your fleas.
Gonna take a butt munch to lunch
and give the postman a big toe woe.
Gonna sniff out a crotch scented laptop,
leave poetic, pissy pawprints on the screen.
I pity the Pitbull fool who tries to claim my dogtag.

My bitch thinks she owns me
but secretly I play with her mate.
He feeds me a tasty, hot Corn Bugle several times a night
when she's snuffing flies noisily.
When she wakes up and I’m in between them,
drooling like a slobberhound,
I love how they fight.
CLANG CLANG! There’s the bell!
I run low like a stubby legged, fat rat as she screams
“GIT OUTA MAH FACE, TROLL!”


Her mate calls her Cruella,
and I laugh with my tongue wiggling out.
I just love to trip up the warden with my kibbles.
Yeh, I got a bone... and  big red balls...even a purple squirrel
and  I’ll gnawt let you share.
Booga Booga, Bow Wow Down, Cooga!




http://i1195.photobucket.com/albums/aa387/aheartflash1/heartflash/HERECOMEDAHWARDEN_zpse3d652c7.png

Stop Please Just Listen

I have things to say
but you wouldn't listen
I hold my words
on a golden bowl
Not spill it
until you listen

you are all chickenshit
cos you are without brains
nothing intellectually stimulating
in a group of baaing sheep
spouting nonsense you think
are masterpieces

I have things to share
Listen please stand still
open your hearts and your mind
listen I have something
to declare
its important...just stay

your best friend says
you stole her work
plastered your name in vivid blocks
I have more to tell
but you are not worth my while
you stink like a ten day corpse

I wake up and no one's there
I walk head down to my workplace
I look around and nobody cares
so I will make you read
what I have to say
so listen I am important too

you won't listen to me then
I am not surprised
you are butt ugly
like a wounded hyena
your poem sucks
its trash you churn out

I am here and I won't go away
I will say the same things
all over again
I am not a troll shut your mouth
I just want to be heard
listen, read me and understand.

MadameLavender said:Waterviolet, this is a competition, so if you have an entry for it, please do add it so you can be considered for the trophy/win.  If not, then let's keep the chit-chat for the discussion forums and/or PM.

Thanks!  :)

Uhm....Ms Madam, ma'am, I think that is WaterViolet's entry.  

THAT, or just him making love noises, as his rooster crows the moon:D

Not sure which, but hear tell the beasts of burden are all rosied up and puckered for a KISS!

RalfTheNose said:[quote-276661-MadameLavender]Waterviolet, this is a competition, so if you have an entry for it, please do add it so you can be considered for the trophy/win.  If not, then let's keep the chit-chat for the discussion forums and/or PM.

Thanks!  :)

Uhm....Ms Madam, ma'am, I think that is WaterViolet's entry.  

THAT, or just him making love noises, as his rooster crows the moon:D

Not sure which, but hear tell the beasts of burden are all rosied up and puckered for a KISS!

[/quote]

HA! Then go plant a big wet one on WV for me, Ralfie.
*singing* "and waaatch what haaappeeens.  Cold... no I can't believe your heart is cold..."

Winner tomorrow morning--I'm at work right now, gotta focus on that! :)

Had a lull at work, so winner it is--congrats Switchblade!  Congrats to everyone, runners-up, etc.-thanks for being part of the troll-patrol!

Switchblade, congratulations for winning the competition and also to runners up  HollyDove and Crazy_Admirer. Awesome write everyone!

Outstanding poem, SwitchBlade.  And I hope I come upon some of your other works here at DUP.
Thanks all for sharing the fun and thoughtful creations...and Madame for setting up the stage.

Congratulations to the winners of this great competition.  I 'Admire' Switch and Dove. Hmmm, that came out Crazy!