Go to page:

Jokes and Riddles repository

Posted: 21st March 2016 2:35am
rabbitquest
rabbitquest
Dangerous Mind
Ukraine 2awards
Joined 20th May 2012
Forum Posts: 2051
i was waiting for you for hours
when the clock tipped on its side
now i am waiting for you for hours on end

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:23pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I was under the Boardwalk the other day
moving people's pieces and looking up skirts
when the under-toe came and dragged me away.

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:23pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I came up with an S&M tongue twister
but I got a cramp in the middle of my monologue....

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:24pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I feel like
some yard sale
stripper
removing
memories
piece by piece
till the past
and my
regrets
are gone
and all
I have
is a pile
of one dollar
bills
to tip
the bartender
as I down
another
shot
to clean up
this mess.

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:29pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112

I fold my clothes
into origami animals
sometimes they stampede
and the field mice hide
no wonder I can never find
a matching pair of socks.

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:30pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
I remember this one time
I had chased the ice cream truck
for twelve blocks
I just love that tune they play.
when I took that first lick
I got brain freeze
and all the dinosaurs
living in my head
became extinct.

Posted: 21st March 2016 9:31pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
morning what??

I wake up in the middle
of the redwood national forest
a sapling amongst giants.

when a knot in the wood
quickly
becomes a charlie hoarse
I jump up galloping around the room

SCREAMING...

like Paul Revere...
the British are coming the British are coming

My roommate lifts his head
momentarily distracted from his date
and says
"somebodies gonna have to clean this up."

Posted: 21st March 2016 10:31pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
.I have an Abbie normal brain.....Dear Abby ..what is normal....:)

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:19pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
My wife is so cold I have to wear thermal condoms.

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:20pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
My wife is so cold I get brain freeze.

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:22pm
LadyRain
LadyRain
Fire of Insight
2awards
Joined 4th Mar 2016
Forum Posts: 1404
A curling wand might help.

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:27pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
Ever since Geppetto
made me a real boy
I've been having problems
with these damn splinters
like a human porcupine

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:29pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
pony express during the renaissance...god I gotta get a new job all this chain-mail is killing me.

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:30pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112

My animal crackers were getting out of hand
I mean there were crumbs everywhere
so I reached into my toolbox
and pulled out the monkey-wrench
and put it all in their business

Posted: 21st March 2016 11:31pm
SatansSperm
SatansSperm
Dangerous Mind
13awards
Joined 19th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 3112
When I was six
I heard my sister was peeing on a stick
to see if she was pregnant
so I went outside
and grabbed the first
twig I could find
'cause you know
I can't afford any kids right now

Go to page:
Go to: